Color Us Crazy by brea isomee (the chimp paradox .txt) 📖

own blood was helpful at the time , but the that night i got home and i felt the guilt eating away at my soul . I didn't want to kill anybody i just wanted to make a point . But i'd gone too damn far . I didn't let him die , i couldn't .

I'd went back to him and called 911 and waited for an ambulance . That was all i could do at the time .

I changed into my gym clothes and walked to the middle of the basketball court with the rest of the class .

I watched Trinity as she stood at the far end of the basketball court by herself dribbling a ball . She looked so sad , and i felt like i was the cause of it , i just wanted to be happy , that's all i'd wanted , even if it meant that in the end i wouldn't be .

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-Rodney-

" i love you , " i said loud enough for Trinity to hear " i'm not perfect , i don't think i am . I might not even deserve you . Hell , you probably don't even want me anymore but . . . i can't let you go without at least trying . I need you in my life , whether we're just friends or more . " she turned to me " i know that - "

She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling my body to hers and just resting her head in my chest .

I missed that .

" looks like you got hurt , " she spoke " but if you ever leave me worrying again . . . then i'll hurt you myself . Got it ?"

I smiled and rested my chin on her head " got it ."

-Rodney-

" so babe , " i said as i slung my arm around Trinity's shoulder and we continued down the hall " you forgive me , right ?"

" actually , " she laughed and shrugged my arm off " you still have some making up to do ."

" what ? I thought you forgave me though ."

" nope . "

" well , how about you come over tonight and i make it up ." i mumbled so only she could hear .

" no , and by the way you look it doesn't evn seem like you'll be able to move that good . But anyway me and Tammy are going to the movies ."

" well , what if i come along ?"

" nope , it's just a girl thing ."

" well damn , " I kissed her ear " when am i going to get some alone time with you ?"

" when you stop doing that , now i've got to get to class , bye ."She walked away , smiling from ear to ear .

I watched as she dissapeared into the crowded hallways and vowed to do whatever it took to win her back because i couldn't imagine my life without her .

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-Trinity-

You know how you just know that one specific boy is the one ?

Have you ever felt like that ?

Where you know he'll never leave you and you know he's all you really have in the end ? You know that he'll climb to the top of Mount Everest for you if you ask , and you know that 99.99% of the time time your on his mind .

Have you ever met that one boy that you can't leave alone no matter how hard you try , a boy where even his flaws are sexy , and even his attitude is a turn on ?

Well , that's how i feel about Rodney , and by the way he looks at me i can tell that that's how he feels too .-Rodney-

I stared at my mother blankly , not knowing exactly what to say .

To come home and see people that i hadn't seen in a week was , confusing to me . Who up and leaves their child without a word about it ?

And the shit my mother had said to me , stuck in my mind like she'd just said it the day before .

" Rodney , son , i'm . . . " she spoke in a sad tone " i'm sorry . I never meant to make you feel unwanted or , unloved , or whatever . You have to understand -"

I sighed , " i don't have to understand shit ."

My father cut in " don't talk to your mother like that -"

" who are you to speak to me about how i should and shouldn't talk to her ? You're the one who choked her until she was damn near dead and now you want to speak to me on basically respecting her ? No , " i stood up " fuck that ! I'll do what i want . "

I stormed from the living room into my bed room and slammed the door behind me . I plopped down on my bed next to Raven's sleeping body . I missed Raven like crazy , she was the only person to keep me fucking sane in this house .

I pulled my phone from my pocket and decided to call Trinity , my beautiful , beautiful , girlfriend .

" hello ?" she answered .

" wassupp , what you doing ?"

" nothing , getting ready to go to the movies ."

I shook my head as if she could see " okay ."

After a pause she asked " babe , do you love me ?"

" always ."

" what if we break up ?"

" that won't stop me from loving you ."

I could hear the smile in her voice when she asked "who's number one in your life ?"

" you are , and always will be ."

" good , because i was thinking and . . . . i want to move in with you ."

I smiled and jumped up in excitement " word ? Well , i'm glad you feel that way , but how about we wait until i get my own place . Mom and dad just came back home ."

" really ? How is that going ?"

" as good as i would expect ."

She laughed " don't worry it'll get better , everything will . And in no time you'll be on cloud nine ."

" hopefully you're right . "

" i am ."

I sighed " can i ask you a question ?"

" anything ."

" do you - do you love me back ?"

There was another pause , this one longer than the other , it worried me more than anything . I just wanted to her her either say yes or no , and i'd prefer if she'd say yes .

" I've always loved you , Rodney . Don't ever question that . "


-Rodney-

Dear mama ,

I love you , and i respect any decisions you make . If you want to stay with daddy that's cool , if you want to keep letting him beat on you then that's cool too . Like you always say , you'r grown .

You said some hurtful things to me back at the hospital , but , whatever . By the way , i'm not like my father , i'm like you . I just want us to get back to how we were . I'm your loving son and nothing is going to change that . I hope we can put any bad feelings in the past and work on the right now . Anyways . . . that's all .

Much love .

Your son ,

Rodney .

P.s. I Might've found the one . Imprint

Publication Date: 10-03-2011

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