His Sanity by Mirah Selim (great book club books .txt) 📖

Catelin Pov

"That's quite weird. I can't pin a point at what mental illness he's suffering from. All the things you told me are just weird." Dr. Steward said making me sigh heavily.

I told him everything. Everything from start to end except what happened last night in the pool. I didn't find any strength to confess the things Lucifer did to me even though I knew I should have told him.

I explained how he was gone through some serious incident in the past and after that he started behaving like a kid. How I took care of him and all. And this was the first time in these past years that he had shown me his this side.

A scary yet intimidating side which I never thought he had before.

Dr. Steward seemed too confused about his mental condition and why not. No one can pinpoint at what he's actually suffering from. At one time he behaves as he has DID but in the next moment, he behaves like he's just mentally younger than his age.

I don't know what's a lie and what's the truth. But I know one thing that his continuous playing with my mind will make me lose my sanity instead.

Last night I couldn't get one wink of sleep. I kept on thinking about what he did. He looked so manly yet so gentle at the same time. I can't forget how his actions kept on ruining my focus.

Damn this love. Why did I even start loving someone that can't be mine? And now that someone is playing with my sanity every second. How much my heart kept on begging me to give up and accept him.

But I can't. I can't betray my uncle and aunt they had trusted me more than myself. I can't be selfish. I need to find his illness than have to do anything to heal it. I need to bring our cold yet caring Lucifer out.

Because I know last night Lucifer or that goofy kid Lucifer can never be our Lucifer King. Last night's Lucifer was way too aggressive and possessive in his actions. While kid Lucifer always has been a scared and pouty one.

But the real Lucifer King is a mature, cold and caring man. He isn't aggressive or way too soft. He's a perfect definition of a man any girl would kill to have.

And the guy who exclaims to love me is not the Lucifer I had given my heart to. I can never love someone who knows nothing but aggressiveness.

"That's the truth Doctor. I don't think he has DID it's something else. And I can't understand what is it." Dr. Steward sighed heavily leaning his back against the chair.

"I saw his files. His tests. Everything is so different from what you're telling me. His reports are clear. They couldn't detect what mental illness he has. But after hearing your words it's obvious the reports has been misrepresented."

I sighed heavily nodding my head. The reports have always been misrepresented and now I can clearly see it. Before I used to believe those reports as I didn't know this side of Lucifer but now I am sure the reports have been presented wrongly each time.

"I need to meet him. You need to bring him here. Because without inspecting him I can't say anything." I sighed more loudly lazily letting my back hit the chair showing my frustration.

"This is the problem. Whenever I try to bring him somewhere that aggressive side of him comes out and instantly refuses to cooperate and if I become angry or mad that kid side of him comes out forcing me to not be mad at him. I don't know what to do."

I exclaimed loudly. Yes, that's what Lucifer did in the morning. When I tried pursuing that dominant side of his he simply refused me with a stern warning to not test his patience and when in anger I went to my room and refused to talk to him. Kid Lucifer appeared.

"I have an idea." I looked at the Doctor only to find him looking at me with a creepy smirk. He looked creepy while smirking not like Lucifer who looks hot.

Well, what can I do? I know I have to stop myself from going near him and giving in but I can't stop myself from having internal praising for him. And he indeed looks hot while smirking. It's a fact.

Dr. Steward is a handsome young man. I was surprised when I first saw him. He looked in his mid-20s but to my surprise, he's in his early 30s. Being 32 he's one of the best psychiatrist and also a trainer of new fellows.

He told me about having a fiance and we had a long discussion of our personal lives before he accepted to train me and after that, we discussed about Lucifer which indeed got his attention.

"Manipulate him." I gasped widening my eyes.

"WHAT." I practically yelled at him making him hush me.

"Shh lower your voice girl. You in a hospital. Look listen to me first." I glared at him still not forgetting the rubbish suggestion he gave me.

"Manipulate him just like he's doing to you." I shook my head.

"What are you saying. He's manipulating me?" I questioned making him sigh heavily.

"Are you this innocent or you're just too blind to see it? Obviously, he's manipulating you using those personalities. I don't know how he turned into a completely different person. But I still have a little bit of theory and that can only be confirmed when I will meet him."

I stared at him unsure of what to say next. Manipulate him. I don't know how to do that shit.

"I can see he fears your ignorance. You leaving him. And losing your comfort. All of these are related only to you and only you can manipulate him. You can't see it Catelin but by the things you told me he's wrapped around your fingers. You just have to use the card 'I like that man he looks so handsome' in front of him and he will do everything you will ask him."

Taking his words in my mind I bit my lower lip. Can I do that? Can I use his trick on him? I knew that he was kind of using manipulative ways just to get me to do what he wants. But I was still in denial thinking that it might be because of his mental instability.

But now I know he was indeed manipulating me all the time. "Ok, I will try to bring him here tomorrow." Dr. Steward nodded and I went out of his office.