All Signs Point to You Part Two by Navaura Campbell (uplifting books for women .TXT) 📖

raised a brow. "Journaling?"

He nodded, "Yes, start Journaling, because that's what's going to help you clarify things."

"I don't have a journal." Denise stated, dispirited, but not due to not having a journal.

"Well, let's go get one." He said.

Denise smiled, "You're really serious about this, aren't you?"

Quinn sighed and put an arm around her neck. "I care about you Denise, I want you to be happy, and in an effort to do that, you have to know what makes you happy." He wasn't too tall, therefore it didn't strain her shoulders. She grabbed his hand, "How is it that you know exactly what to say when ever we talk?"

He smiled, "Because I've been there before. It's nothing to be ashamed of Denise. Sometimes when figuring out what you want, and who you are, you have to hurt others and yourself."

Denise, laughed, "I love you Quinn."

Quin grabbed her and brought her into a hug. "Aww, I love you to, De."

Jordan froze when he heard her laugh. His heart beat sped up and a knot formed in his throat, along with the perspiration build up everywhere. Following its sound, he looked over to see Denise and Quin locked in an embrace at the shop's door. He watched as Quinn kissed her forehead. For some inexplicable reason, this caused anger to stir inside him. I thought he was gay? His mind quarried this. Why is he kissing her if he's supposed to be gay? Gay guys don't hug and kiss girls! His mind told him. That's why she's not worth my time. She didn't want space, she wanted him! His mind reasoned. He frowned as he watched the interaction between the two. Not being able to help it, he continued to stare.

Sighing, Denise released her hold on Quinn, and said, "Let's get me a journal."

Quinn smiled, "Ok." He turned toward the window, and couldn't believe his eyes. Grabbing Denise's hand, he said, "I think we should go."

Denise looked down at her watch, noticing they still had ten minutes till the movie started. "But, the movie doesn't start till four. We got enough time to get in the shop and then come back out."

Quinn looked down at her, "I know, but we can come back afterward, you know?" Denise laughed, "Why? We're already here." She noticed he kept darting his gaze between her and the window. Becoming curious, she looked up in the window. Her heart stopped beating for a few seconds and a huge lump formed within her chest, causing her brain to flat line.

Jordan shivered when their eyes met. Hers looking so terribly innocent, almost caused him to swoon. They were so beautiful and warm looking. He just stared. Finally Sebrea's voice brought him back as she came to step next to him. "Hey, what do you think of this?" He broke his gaze from Denise's, to look at her, "It's a good one. Let's pay for it and go." He stated, not wanting to be in the shop with Denise being here. She'd definitely figure something was wrong.

Sebrea smiled at him, "Alright, let's go." She turned, and out of habit, he put a hand on her back.

Denise stared in shock. He loves me? How can he loves me if he's with someone else? Her first instinct was to turn and run, but she decided that she couldn't, wouldn't do such a thing. She was supposed to be changing, and the first thing in changing would be to confront him.

Jordan ushered Sebrea to the front of the store, so that they could pay for the gift he was going to give his mom. It was a set of crystal candle holders with two black baskets sitting inside for the candles to burn in. When they reached the register to pay for the item, Jordan took a couple of bills out of his pocket, waited for the cashier to ring them up. When she did, he gave her the money and told her to keep the change. Turning around, he came face to face with Denise and Quinton, who held her up to keep her from falling because of how fast he'd moved.

"Excuse me," He stated, trying to get by.

"What's going on Jordan?" Denise spoke, while looking him in the eyes. Her expression was unreadable. He shrugged, "Buying a gift for my mother."

"You two know each other?" Sebrea asked, looking between the two with a smile.

Denise looked over at her. She smiled. Nodded her head politely and answered, "Yeah, we go to the same school."

Sebrea nodded, "Cool."

Denise sighed, "So, are you guys dating and stuff?" She tried to say this nonchalantly.

Sebrea sighed, "We've only been going out for a month."

Denise thought of the last time she'd spoken to him. Precisely a month ago. "Oh really, that's cool." She replied, her tone a little crisp.

Jordan sighed, "Well, we gotta go...I'm sure mom's..."

He was cut off by Denise's fake gasp of delight. "Oh my God, where'd you guys get this," she asked, her hand over the box.

"We got this for his mother. For Christmas."

"It's too cute. Can I see what it look like?"

Jordan rolled his eyes, irritated. What the hell was wrong with her? She never acted like this before. "You know, I'd rather not open it, because I don't want mom to think it's been tampered with." Jordan stated, pulling the bag from Sebrea, and giving Denise a dirty look. Though there was a smile on her face, Jordan could see that she was fuming. He stared at her, his eyes just as vehement. How could she even get mad when she did everything she could think of to keep him away? What did she think that he was going to wait for her? A girl who didn't want him in the first place?

Denise sighed, "Ok, well, Quinn and I have a movie to catch, we'll see you two later." With that, she grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled him to the front of the line. Jordan felt her side brush along him as she did. His skin tingled from the contact.

Denise watched as Jordan and Sebrea left the shop. She was shooting invisible darts at both their heads as they did. As soon as they were out of sight, Quinn asked, "Why did you bring me into this mess?" He hissed.

"Ah, come on Quinn, he knows you're gay." Denise said as she handed the cashier her diary to ring up.

"The way he was looking at me said that he suspected that I wanted you."

Denise smiled, "Good, let him think that."

Quinn stared at her, confused, "Let him think that? Denise, the guy's already mad at you. Why would I want him to think that?"

"Because it's going to get him back to me." She whispered.

"The only thing it's going to do is cause his girl to ask why he is giving you "the look" when ever he see you." Quinton prophesied.

"Well, I got the diary, let's go watch a movie," Denise suggested now that the diary had been purchased. Quinton narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't bring me into this,"

Denise sighed, "I thought you were going to help me?"

"I am, but not in that manner. I want you to do things right, De. Not wrong, because you will loose him that way, for good. Deviance never gets you anywhere."

"Deviance? This isn't deviance. I'm not harming anyone." Denise objected.

"Physically. He really loves you Denise, this kind of thing would only drive him further away from you."

Denise looked at Quinn, "If he loves me, then why is he seeing her? You heard her, they've been dating a whole month."

Quinton shrugged his shoulders, "Sometimes a guy will date another girl just to get the previous one off his mind."

"That's stupid," Denise retorted.

"Yet people do it, especially when they don't want to confront their own pain."

Denise sighed, glancing down at her watch. "Let's go, the movie's already started."

Quinton sighed, "Alright-y."

Together both teens left the gift shop and went on to the movies.

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty One: Regeneration

 

Pacing. He was going to wear a hole in the carpet of his bedroom floor if he continued on like this. It was now two days later, and although he'd seen her in class, he hadn't asked her about Quinton.

It had been shocking seeing them together hugged up the way they were, with Quinn's arm around her neck. Jordan felt a slight blush creep up his cheeks. He was so upset with her. If she was interested in someone else, why didn't she just tell him instead of him finding out the way he did. He stopped pacing and threw himself onto his bed. Groaning out load, he said, "Why did I have to be stupid and fall in love with a girl who seemed great at first, but obviously have commitment issues? Especially now that I've met the girl I've always wanted to date? I probably would've had better luck with her.

He sighed, thinking over the relationship he'd had with Sebrea during the past month. She was such a happy, worry free person. She was beautiful in every way, yet he had yet to kiss her the way he'd kissed Denise. He didn't feel that hunger which gnawed at him the way it did when ever he was around Denise. He got aroused just thinking about her. Her sweet chocolate toned skin, big brown eyes and gorgeous hair. He was going to drive himself crazy, thinking about how soft her lips were, or the smell of her perfume. He even remembered the flicker of her eyelashes when she would blink. Mundane stuff, things with no real purpose, the small things in great detail were what he remembered. Why? He didn't know. He sighed, exasperated. He wasn't even married to her and behaved as if he were.

Giving one last exasperated sigh, he wondered what he should do. How would he get over her. For both their sake, he needed too.

Dear Diary,

It's two days later since I bought you in Terry's gift shop, and I must say, I am very happy with my purchase. Quinton was right. Getting a diary definitely helped me to sort out my thoughts, behaviors and ideas. I realize after reading my entry from when I went to Terry's book shop, that perhaps my idea was a little ludicrous.

I also know that I have been trying to set Jordan in the back of my mind since that incident, because like Quinn said, I need to know myself, but when ever I think about me, I think of things I don't like about myself. Quinn said for me to write down things that are great about me, that no one else can take away, even if they tried. So, here's the list:

1. I am a very cautious person. That's good, because I never do things without thinking.

2. I am a great learner in academics, except math.

3. I believe I am stylish.

4. I love sports: hiking, tennis and since I've done that a few times, I enjoy sailing now.

5. I have pretty hair

6. Horrible Traits that I acquire, not physically, but mentally: Indecisive, Confusion, Hard outer shell, but weaker inner self, Lack of commitment? Stubborn, Fearful. (Another thing to add, I tend to believe the worst possible scenarios concerning everything except my academic affairs. I know I will succeed in that.

7. Great things about me: I am always eager to learn what's going on around me. I am very disciplined in a crazy way. I love to watch movies, especially ones that seem informative, documentaries, Biographies...I love the history channel, The beloved P.B.S. I am very analytic, analyzing as much as I possibly can, except when I'm told not to do something. I do not allow people to push me around, but I can be persuaded pretty easily, especially when it comes to things I want. (There you go, I am positive about my academics. I know what I'm good at and what I suck at.)

Denise thought and thought about something else to write, but couldn't think of anything. She groaned, studying the