Kerplunk - It's Over!! by A.W., H.R. and Our Girlfriends (i can read with my eyes shut txt) 📖

all my time alone with him without the kids as buffers. I could not imagine having lackluster sex with him for the rest of my life; having mundane conversations with someone whom I had mentally outgrown. I had huge doubts and felt entirely selfish for wanting to leave him, but ultimately I knew that I could not make someone else happy if I was depressed and completely unhappy myself. He deserved to be adored for who he was and I could not grant him that any longer.” – Shelley, 42

“I had never been really turned on by him. We were friends and dated in college. The next eventual step was marriage; after all, everyone else was getting married too.” – Alexandra, 28

“I realized there was nothing left of me. I had allowed him to mold me and make me into someone I no longer recognized. I felt unloved, unwanted, unattractive and completely controlled. I wanted freedom and to find my old self again if that was possible.” – Sarah, 44

“There was abuse and I still don’t know how to describe it. One night, he held a gun to me and our two sons. Then he did it two more times. The police told me to have him committed but I didn’t because somehow I thought it would help the boys to have a dad around. I know it does not make any sense but I guess I was so far down the dirt road of abuse that I didn’t even see it.” – Connie, 57

“We had been married for 20 years after dating for 2 years in college. I just didn’t like who he had grown up to be. We managed our life, our kids, our marriage, and basically insulated it all with buying stuff, taking trips, finding hobbies outside of each other. I had fallen out of love with him. I loathed sitting still to watch TV with him. I couldn’t stand hearing his booming voice from across the room at parties telling the same old, boastful tales. I busied myself with housework, kids, and my career to not have to be near him. Finally I realized I loved the life we had built together, our things, our history, the story of us, but I did not want to spend another month of my life with him. Preserving the façade of our perfect life was not worth my soul aching from unhappiness.” – Wendy, 63
“When he told our priest that he would rather smoke pot than continue to live in our marriage and family – there was only one thing I could do.” – Ginger, 35

“I was so tired of living in a sexless marriage. We had not had sex in over 2 years. The first year, I was pregnant with our first child. The next year, he just didn’t want to touch me. What man does not want to have sex? I couldn’t get him to admit that he was getting sex from somewhere else. We went to therapy and he would just clam up. I had huge issues with lack of self-esteem and poor body image. I guess he just didn’t want me. I knew I could not live like brother and sister for the rest of my life. I asked for a divorce and he said fine.” – Robin, 30

"I knew that when it got to the point where there was nothing he could say or do, no amount of begging or promises of change that would make a difference in our relationship, it was over." – Cindy, 35

“The day I woke up and realized that I seriously wanted to hurt my Ex. Really hurt him. Maim him. I imagined how many times it would take stabbing him with the butcher knife to wipe off that “eat *@&!” grin he always had on his face as he would yet again tell me how overworked and under loved he was and how rigid and unrealistic I was to expect him to be one of those mundane “little people” that actually are involved with their wives and children. Then I looked at my child and realized that I had to go so I wouldn’t either have a nervous breakdown or honestly kill my Ex, which would leave my son without even one stable parent!” – Lisa, 48

2) Emotional Abuse/ Substance Abuse
Has the love you felt been replaced by resentment? Resentment comes from being hurt by your husband emotionally. Damn it! Wasn’t he supposed to be your soul mate? Your best friend? But he has hurt you over and over and you can’t forgive and forget now. The kiss of death to a marriage comes when you harbor those hurt feelings and yet do nothing about them. When you don't voice your feelings in a proper manner or stand up for yourself, the hurt turns to resentment. Resentment festers and boils and becomes an oozing, vapid open sore of bitterness and hostility. If you can’t work through these feelings, if you can’t get past the pain, then, it is more than likely the end of your marriage.

“My husband would not go to counseling through our church because he said he could not spend that much time with me, he could not take me to dinner because he didn’t know what to talk about, and for my 45th birthday he took a trip by himself to St. Martin to rest and recover.” – Carolyn, 56

“He took me to a mental hospital for an evaluation. The evaluator/therapist asked many questions and concluded that I was neither insane nor suicidal. I was being abused emotionally and sexually. He suggested I get out of my abusive situation. He offered me info on several safe houses and women’s groups. I felt like my eyes were finally opened. From that moment on, I could see the abuse I had been enduring for so many years.” – Faith, 37
"When I found out that his business trip to Italy was not a business trip and that his co-worker was a "she" and she did not work with him." – Zoe, 38

"My husband was an abusive alcoholic who cheated with other woman and other couples. I put up with it for 10 years. I think that validates my ending the marriage." – Sandra, 42

"Months after our expensive fairy tale wedding, I had flash backs and memories of being raped by my uncle. My new husband couldn't handle it and decided to end the marriage. I was stunned because I learned from my parents that you work through it. You work through everything. I was devastated."
– Lynn, 29


The average cost of a divorce in the USA is $20,000; however, if you are frugal, cooperative with your eEx and lucky you can get one for under $10,000.
The cost of freedom:
$10,000 - $20,000 (Source: www.aboutdivorce.com)
$15,000 (Source: www.divorcesupport.about.com)
$20,000-$40,000 (Source: www.womansdivorce.com)
$50,000 (Source: www.divorcereform.org)

"This Ex was my second husband. He was a controlling, abusive, cheating man who did not consider our marriage a partnership. He made me suffer financially and treated my children poorly. And he also wanted me to get into a sexual lifestyle that I wanted no part of.” – Barbara, 43

“He had verbally abused me since my first pregnancy (about a year after we were married). The second pregnancy brought even more snide comments about my weight, even in front of friends and family. He was becoming more of a bully and though he didn’t hit me he would get in my space and scare me, make me think that he was going to hurt me. The actual event that made my decision to leave him was when he was screaming at me in front of both kids. He threw a set of keys at me; they missed me and our kids by mere inches. It was then that I knew I needed to get out for their safety and my sanity.” – Valerie, 32

“He called a co-worker at 2:30am to threaten to kill him because he had read a text message on my phone that simply said “sorry you are feeling poorly, saw you called in sick from work today – hope to see you tomorrow. Oh and I have some photos I shot this weekend to show you.” My Ex woke me up at 2am to tell me he knew I was sleeping with the guy – grabbed me screamed at me and then threw my phone into the wall. We got into a physical altercation and I punched him giving him a bloody nose. I told him then and there that we were done. He wouldn’t hear of it and the fight went on until he finally gave up calling me crazy and called friends to come and get him. He had the keys and my wallet and the only working phone (I had an emergency phone stashed that I later got out) so I had to physically get those from him. He took off and I packed my stuff. My mother came to get me the next day. I haven’t seen him since.” – Megan, 27

"He introduced someone else as his wife at his 15 year high school reunion because he said he was embarrassed to be seen with me." – Lori, 39

"The event made the decision for me - my Ex started screaming at me all of the time. Then he started screaming in front of our children. Then he threw keys at me and missed our daughters face by inches. I decided to leave for our safety and sanity." – Rachael, 41

"I knew he smoked pot occasionally, but I had no idea that he was also into cocaine and prescription drugs. He kept it hidden in his golf bag and in the console of his truck. We had two boys under 5 years old! We taught Sunday school together. This man who had been my high school sweetheart, who I had been married to for 7 years was a complete fraud. I uncovered evidence that he was dealing drugs and was unfaithful as well. I could never trust him again. It was over." – Sandy, 30

3) Physical Abuse
There's not a lot to say here. We have one stance on this topic: If you are being hit, call the marriage quits.

"It was over when the police took him away - that made up my mind for me. It was so easy to file the divorce papers at that point." – Karly, 34

“I was a successful business woman. A CEO and national speaker. A mother of 2 preteens. Once I realized I was being emotionally abused by my husband of 18 years I began to consider leaving him. Could I really bring about a divorce? What about our kids? What would everyone else think about me? When I addressed my concerns with his controlling me, he became so much more aggressive and oppressive. I finally left. I moved out. He continued to harass me daily–bombarding me with emails, texts, phone calls threatening me if I did not come back. Two months after I left him, he broke into my house one Sunday afternoon and severely raped and beat me nearly to death. I sought help from a local domestic violence center. Even after being raped and beaten, I was still too afraid of him to press charges.” – Eileen, 49

70% of reported domestic violence cases occur as the partner attempts
to leave. - National Coalition Against Domestic Violence