Kerplunk - It's Over!! by A.W., H.R. and Our Girlfriends (i can read with my eyes shut txt) 📖

/> Children may experience such problems as depression, anger and hostility, isolation, school problems (low achievement), drug and/or alcohol use, and more. They may attempt to get attention through violent behavior, such as lashing out or treating pets cruelly, or by threatening siblings or mother with violence. Boys who witness their father’s abuse of their mothers are more likely to inflict severe violence when they become adults. Data suggest that girls who witness maternal abuse are more likely to tolerate abuse as adults. Children from abused homes often have relationship and marital problems as adults.
"We had been married 12 years. We had 3 children in elementary school. Our relationship was rocky at best. He could tell he was losing his grip on me. Losing the control. One night, we had gone to a party and I had a bit too much to drink. Sometimes I would anesthetize myself with liquor so I didn't have to deal with him and his arrogance. I could just come home and sack out. This particular night I drank too much. I fell asleep hard. I woke up pinned to the bed, he was straddling me, he was sitting on my chest. And then I woke up with his penis in my mouth. He was saying the most foul, vile things to me about what he was planning to do to me. Women say, "I would have killed him! I would have fought back." But when you are still half drunk, half asleep and completely in shock that it is your HUSBAND doing this to you, you don't know how to fight back. You are shocked and afraid. So he raped me. Yeah, that's what I define as nonconsensual sex – rape. That was the final straw. I would not stand to be degraded like that again." – Belinda, 38

"It was the final straw when my husband was drunk and, to make me mad, tried to put the kids in the car to go for a drive." – Melissa, 33

"He threw me off the deck (10' high) and I landed at the bottom of the stairs. I thought I had broken my back. I was screaming in pain and he wouldn’t help me…all this was in front of my young boys." – Natalie, 36

Each day, on average, more than 3 females and 1 male are murdered by their intimate partner in the United States.
– National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

“He came home angry at me for not waiting to eat dinner with him. He screamed at me, threw dishes, slammed cabinet doors and threatened to punch me in the face. I ran to my bedroom and locked the door. He broke the door, screamed and threatened to kill me. I called 911 and as I was making the call he jerked the phone from my hands, ripped the cord out of the wall and threw it into the yard. He threw all the phones in the yard. I knew I had lived in this chaos for far too long. I went to an attorney the very next day.” – Brooke, 43

“We were coming home from a Labor Day cookout. I knew he was mad by the way he slammed his car door as we got in. We rode in silence for about 5 miles. I sat silently dreading what I knew was coming again. He gradually pressed the accelerator, urging the car faster and faster until we were going 65 mph along twisting on the back, country roads towards home. I begged him to please slow down.” White-knuckling the steering wheel, elbows and shoulders locked he growled at me through clenched teeth “Please stop acting like such a whore every time you leave the house!” This was always the insult he threw at me. He would insist that I wear low-cut shirts, tight jeans, revealing clothes because he said he ‘loved my sexy, curvy body;’ but when we got out in public and he noticed other men eyeing me it became my fault for dressing that way. Always accusations of me being to flirty and seductive when I made sure to only mingle with women and children, never allowing myself to have conversation with the men. I began to cry and plead for him to slow down. He knew he was frightening me, and he loved it. He sped up to 85mph and then, as if the speed was not enough, he turned off the headlights–recklessly risking both our lives just to punish me for wearing the clothes he chose for me.
God sent an angel to watch over me that night and we made it home safely, well at least physically safe. This was the 10th time he had pulled that stunt with me. Turning off the headlights was the new trick. I am ashamed to say, I stayed with him 10 months longer, and he repeated this scare tactic twice more.”
– Kat, 26

"The final straw for me? That is easy. I had put up with so much for so long. Then he punched our 10-year-old daughter in the face when she tried to break up an argument between us.” – Julia, 37


Studies show that one third of children who witness the battering of their mothers demonstrate significant behavioral and/or emotional problems.


Women Are Abusive Too
Both men and women use put downs, ridicule, or standing in the way of jobs and other opportunities. Men tend to use forms of abuse that play to a woman’s fear of harm, isolation, or deprivation. Women typically invoke a man’s fear of failure as a provider, lover, or parent, says Steven Stoshny, Ph.D., author of Love Without Hurt.
Women tend to take on the role of abusers out of fear. Women fear that things will not go they way they would like and she won’t be able to cope. They might feel powerless and out of control, or jealous and feel the need to control their mate before their mate tries to control them.
Abusive women can be vindictive, name-calling, condescending wives. They come from walks of life, all socio-economic groups, ages, and races. These women can use the exact methods of control and abuse as the men do. They can use physical punishment, beating and/or torturing children or anyone less capable than they are (aging parents). They can demand or withhold sex, using it as a weapon, or can cheat on their spouses without apparent conscience. They can ignore and deliver the "silent treatment" as punishment for perceived wrongs. They can even hold all the purse strings, not allowing their husbands or family members to have so much as their own allowance. And they can prohibit their "loved ones" from even interacting with friends and extended family.
Women are apt to pressure men emotionally by saying things such as, “If you don’t do it, you are not the man I thought you were”, or, “I will take you for everything you are worth and leave you with nothing”. If the men refuse, they are then physically and mentally abused. The outside world is left with the assumption that men are never and could never be victims of this. Thus, domestic violence against men goes unrecognized. When men finally choose to tell someone or ask for help, they are ridiculed and dismissed.
4) Financial Abuse
Do you fight constantly about money? Are you in control of the funds or is he or does he hide your financial information? Marriage takes teamwork and when financial strain and abuse is a factor, tempers and tensions run high.

"He began hiding all of our finances. I had my own accounts but after we got married he was adamant about having joint accounts. He secretly kept several accounts. He over drew our joint accounts and hid all of his finances. He did all the banking on-line so that I would never be able to see. Yeah, he wouldn't give me the passwords on the accounts. He later stole my financial statements from the mailbox while I was at work. I knew it was the beginning of the end. I couldn’t trust him anymore.” – Gabriella, 34

“The final straw was discovering that he had not paid a house payment in so long that the bank had begun foreclosure proceedings. When I confronted him about his behaviors he became physically abusive for the first and only time. I knew then that I had to make the break because my children deserved a better life and so did I.” – Stephanie, 29

“When he wanted me to give up my career and I was the only one making any money. If I was unemployed he would have total control of me.” – Jenni, 32

“He could never hold a job for more than a few weeks. I gave him 2.5 years of marriage and then I couldn’t handle it any more.” – Jennifer, 29

"I knew within a few months I had married him on a rebound. We had nothing in common and grew apart quickly.” – Janice, 53

5) Infidelity
Can a husband ever realize the harm that he has done in cheating on his wife? The emotional devastation, the insecurity issues it creates in her otherwise solid self esteem? After an affair, a one-night stand, a hot textual online relationship, trust and respect just crumbles. We say men are hard wired to procreate. It’s just their nature. Yeah, right. If the woman chooses to remain in the relationship the couple begins a new dance that will forever change their marriage. Typically, a man begs for forgiveness and expects it to begin within a reasonable time frame (male expectation = 1-2 months “I said I’m sorry damn it, get over it, already!”) After an indiscretion, the woman really has the emotional work to do. She may say she forgives him in order to right the ship. In order to just keep the family afloat and to make it all go away; but she may make him pay for the rest of their marriage. Is that a real marriage? A union of mutual respect and love? Forgive and forget. Forgiveness is somewhat conceivable, but forget? Hmm? That one would take a saint! Most counselors suggest that we remember because in remembering we learn to not repeat that pattern.
Sometimes after an affair there is no way to repair the damage done. Does the idea of sex with your spouse make you cringe? No, really? You can tell us. Are you like so many of our girlfriends who feel physically ill at the thought of having ‘relations’ with their husbands? Maybe he had an affair (or three) and you can’t stomach the thought of sharing the same lollipop as the working girls down at Pure Platinum. Are you drowning in so much resentment and loathing you cannot bring yourself to keep the home fires burning? Does the idea of knockin’ boots with your Sugar Lumps cause you to feel trapped and angry? You can only use the “Sorry, Babe. I have a yeast infection” excuse for so long. It is time to act on your feelings. Or you’re just going to take one for the team for the rest of your life? Yeah. That’s what we thought.

"He kept telling me that everything was a figment of my imagination. When I followed his car, then