Deranged Lust by Tina Mahnam (heaven official's blessing novel english .TXT) 📖

a complete lie. If I wanted to be honest, it was just...a part of it. He mumbles an oh then suggests that we sit down and watch a movie. We ended up arguing about what movie to watch for the next ten minutes, but soon decided to settle on a romantic one.

Halfway throughout the motion picture, me and Bruce either cuddled or he would constantly check his phone every ten minutes, not even knowing what the movie was about or where it was heading to. "Rebecca." I heard him call me from the kitchen where he was bringing some strawberries and melted chocolate. I hummed in response, laying comfortably on the couch while going through my social media. He sat down beside me right after I kneeled my legs to give him some space to sit. He put one of the strawberries in the mouth, staring at me as I gently chewed the fruit into smaller pieces. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion to wonder why exactly he was staring at me like that. That's when I eventually heard his voice, "I love you, Rebecca." I soon gulped the un-chewed strawberry, eyes broadened, my breath getting heavier by every second. He squeezed my hand then looked into my eyes, "I actually love you."

 

Chapter 5 - Who's The Real Psycho?

 

I love you...I love you...I hate those three words now. It's been two weeks since they spoke those words to me on the same day, it's such a simple coincidence to have the both lovers in my life speak the same words, that frighten me every time, on the same exact day with only a couple hours difference. Why me? Wasn't there someone else to love? This whole thing has been mischievously messing with me so much, and here I stand, staring at my own reflection in the mirror, where a couple hundred guests are waiting for me outside. I fixed the red dress that fit right on my body then decided to lighten up my makeup a little more. That's when I heard a knock on the door, I gave that anonymous person permission to enter. "Wow." I turned to find John staring at me with awe and lust. I widened my eyes and rushed to the door, locking it instantly so nobody would find us in here. "What are you doing here? I haven't left the room yet!"

"Did you even expect me to even show up at your own engagement party? Come on, give me some credit Rebecca. I missed you so much, and you have no idea how stressed I was for this party." I scoffed in disbelief, "You were stressed? I didn't even sleep for a second last night. I'm the one who's actually stressed here." He grabbed my wrist, and stared into my eyes. Trying to figure out what was going on in my head with just an examination. "You're tensing about something else." Yes, sure. I'm straining myself about the fact that my husband and my secret lover admitted they loved me, and I haven't given either one of them an answer, and if I eventually don't, I'll lose both of them, get kicked out of my house, and probably end up as a prostitute just to make a living. Yes, I'm definitely not stressed. "What? No, you're just over-exaggerating." I faked a chuckle, but I'm pretty sure he noticed that it wasn't an actual chuckle, but at this point it really didn't matter to me. What mattered to me was to get through this day without having to hear or use the word, love. I felt John's hands embrace me from the behind, then slowly rose to my shoulders and massaged it smoothly. He brought his face close to my neck and started to peck the sides. I inhaled deeply then grabbed his hands to stop him from going any further, I turned around then lifted my head up to stare at him with a hint of anguish in my eyes, "You know we can't now..." I whispered, stealing every hopes he had for this moment. He sneered then left the room without exchanging another word or look. I just felt like sitting down in the corner of this room and breaking down into sobs. I was too weak to handle so much...too weak.

I heard another knock, then gave permission of entrance. Next was my mom who came in. She stood in front of the entrance, staring at me and judging me in many ways. She then walked over to me and squeezed my wrist harshly, "Listen here, you're going to marry that guy and you're going to do what's best for your family. Stop being selfish for once, and think about us. I'm not like your father to respect your decision, because every decision you've made in your life has leaded to nothing but trouble. So, now you listen to me or you're going to regret going against me, because you know goddamn well that there won't  be a home waiting for you if you come back." She hissed, squeezing it firmly harder before finally letting go. She stormed out of the room, and that's when I broke down to tears. This was unbelievable, what in the world did I get myself into all over again. At this point, I just regret every choice I've made in my life. Mostly because my mom made me regret them. I felt like a disappointment, and I knew well enough that I really was a disappointment. So, it was my time to shine. Even if it meant I had to give up my happiness for good.

I stepped my foot out the door, finally having the courage to walk through the crowd of unknown guests, greeting them with respect, and having to find Bruce standing with a glass of champagne in his hands, wearing a black and white tuxedo, and his hair done all well. Now that I was looking at him, I started to remember why I fell for him in the first place. That day, when he saved me from drowning...something about his face calmed me down and made me feel like I wasn't alone in this shallow world. I sensed myself smile more and more the further I walked towards him. His face suddenly lit up the moment he saw mine, he handed his champagne to his friends and hugged me tightly, he next kissed my forehead. Another thing I loved about him was his forehead kisses, no matter where we are or in what situation we are, he always kisses my forehead. It ceaselessly managed to give me the feeling of reassurance, and he makes sure of it. I just think the reason why I started to lose my feelings for him was after that accident. I was so bewildered that I didn't know how to believe it. I really couldn't. I'm pretty sure I wasn't, and still aren't crazy enough to think that incident was actually by me drowning. It couldn't be possible, but I tried not to overestimate it a bit too much, knowing that it would end up wrecking my mood before the party have even started. 

"You can't believe how happy I am for you." I turned around to have myself scream in joy. I quickly embraced Kara, my high-school best-friend, whom I didn't see her after those three years spent together, because she left to Sweden for her studies and we eventually lost contact, but here she is at my own engagement party. Who even invited her?

"Oh my God, look at you!" She squealed in excitement, adoring me from top to bottom. "Look at me? Look at you! Holy crap, that jawline, those pumped lips, THE NOSE!" We both laughed along while trying to catch up with each other. "How'd you even find me?" 

"You're husband contacted me!" I weeped an astounded expression, in which I really was. How did he know her, or even get the chance to contact her when I tried everything? "Well, guess I gotta thank him for that." I winked naughtily, making Kara give me a grossed out look then giggle right after. We spent the next hour bonding over things we missed all these years, and not going to lie, but she and I still had the same old trait of having tea on every news and gossip that was going around, even if we were way too old for those stuff anymore. It's just best-friend things at this point.

"Rebecca? Can I talk to you?" I turned around finding Bruce who was waiting for me with a not-too-happy look on his face. I excused myself before heading towards where he motioned for me to go. We ended up in the corner of an empty hallway, he soon pushed me against the wall, breathing harshly against my neck. My eyes stayed widened as I started to question his actions, and why it was necessary for him to do it now, here, and at this occasion. "Are you having an affair?" He asked straightly, his eyes being more serious than any work situations he had gone through. I pushed him off of me, scoffing in disbelief and starting to bring up my acting skills. "How dare you accuse me of that! Did I not make myself clear that I'm clearly disgusted by that man?" I spat.

"Oh..." I felt my heart stop. I recognized that voice. More than I could recognize any one else's. I glanced to my right to find John standing there with his shoulders fallen down in disappointment. His face holding no expression all though I knew exactly what his heart spoke. It asked why. It didn't stop asking why. That was clearly my fault, I never told John my plan to try and find out whether Bruce is the guy he really is or not, and now I instantly regret not mentioning it to him earlier than I should've have. "Oh no..." I mumbled, but he soon walked away. I knew if I followed him like any other girl would've done, I would've been caught. Instead, I turned to Bruce and angered my face at him, "Look at what your nonsense caused! Now he's mad at me, I don't see him that way, but I see him as a good acquaintance who I clearly don't want to hurt! So, go fix your own goddamn mistake Bruce." I ordered. He gazed at me with a mixture of shock and surprise. He clearly didn't expect me to talk to him like that, but I'm glad I did, because they clearly had an effect on him. He nodded then proceeded to go follow John and make it up to him just like I told him to.

I released my breath in relief then took out my phone and dialed Kara's number which I had asked for earlier. I told her to rush to my room, then hung up without continuing any further. 

I tapped my foot repeatedly against the hard wood beneath. I bit the skin around my nails that now looked as if I had cut them off with something. I cursed under my breath in impatience. A couple seconds later, that's when I heard a tap against the door. I ran and opened