Broken Fay-te by Cama seeney (summer beach reads .TXT) 📖

love always leaves me and it’s beyond my control." My voices raised a few octaves, the grief apparent, riding a wave of pent up rage. "There's no winning and now I'll lose everything again." My voiced died down to a whisper as the dam broke and the tears came with sobbing. So broken, I thought.

 

He seemed touched by my pain, and lightly placed a hand on mine as the tears fell. "I have something for you, but you have to promise to never let it go." My confused look said more than words ever could and he looked at me unsure. Soon however he stood and left me. The time I spent alone was nearly unbearable. Time seemed frozen in place, unmoving. With each and every second I spent alone, the more my heart cracked in its utter loneliness. Finally, he returned, a bundle wrapped in his arms.

 

It whined in its sleep. Curiosity overtook me and I stood to inspect closer. He passed me the bundle, swaddled in cloth lay a small black female pup, deep black in color with paws to big for her body and the pinkest ears I had ever seen. She yawned, popping her little tongue out.

“She’s like me.” He informed me, “But I can’t keep her, she is in danger.” He sounded solemn sad, as he placed a kiss on her head. “She won’t change for her first five years, so you have time.”

 

I arched an inquiring brow, “How do I know you’re not lying?”

 

“Fay can’t lie.” He said simply.

 

I rolled my eyes, “Maybe it’s fate.” Was my answer as I snuggled the bundled lovingly. I already felt a bond forming with the pup. The second she opened her pale blue eyes, each slightly different from the other, I knew I was lost.

 

"Fay-Te." He replied, stretching out the words painfully.

 

"I’ve gotta go, I've got work. When can I see you again, I have questions." I asked.

 

"Aren't you a little young to be working?" A singular brow raised, his pitch incredulous.

 

A slow smile formed, "Aren't we all?" I clutched the bundle protectively as it dawned on me what he had said. "How much danger is she in?"

 

"Enough that she should never be brought back here." His voice had an ominous vibe that made my skin crawl. "At least not until it’s fixed." The last part almost inaudible. With that, he grabbed my arm, urging me towards the edge of the forest.

 

"You don't have to worry then, soon we leave and we won't be coming back." I whispered to the bundle I cradled. He must have heard me, for he nodded in relief, as if somehow he knew he had made the right choice. It wasn't long before things became recognizable and I found myself standing just outside the forest. Little did I know that would be the last I saw of him for a long time. Often I think about that day. Thought about how Sasha entered and changed my life in just one day.

 

Chapter One

The fay

 

I dont remember too much more of my sixteeth birthday, the whole day was a little blurry. The more I thought about that time over the years that passed the less I thought about the monsters following me, the horse and the changling. The more I thought about the wolf dog pup, the boy I  could no longer picture and the stresses of that time. 

 

My mothers Illness went quickly down hill, it was a repeat of last time, though this time there was no fight left in her. Yet she still tried. Eventually I went to college, and held down a job at the bar we lived upstairs of. We moved to another city and didnt look back. Two years in animal management and a year working for a local farmer later and she passed away. It wasn't pretty, nor was it clean. I was so busy with work and training Sasha, I had forgoten how much she relied on me. I was ninteen so focused on living that I almost forgot she was ill. 

 

Almost. Until the days where I would find her laying in her sick. Sometimes urnine. It was easy to blame the booze or her meds. I forgot she didn't do this to herself. Yet sometimes I couldn't help but blame her, as her health lessoned her so did her mental health. She was not the same beautiful cheery woman with so many goals I had once known. She even gave up painting. I think thats when she too gave up on living. It was soon there after she died. 

 

I wasn't even there. I was too busy out will Sasha, training her to jump over the same logs and rocks. Sasha was a good distraction, I always practiced moving her and health checking her. Improving my skills with animals. It wasn't even me that found her. My mother I mean.

 

I felt so numb. I hand't needed her in so long. I could only appoligise. Yet there was no one to appoligise to. No one was there any more. God had never looked down on me, my mother had yet to bless me with knoledge of her safe passege therefore mentally I could no longer allow myself to believe. I had not only lost my mother but my faith, my will and even a small part of me. I have turned into someone completely new. There is nothing left for me here. The whole ceremy is to be held at my granmothers local church. Somthing about my dad wanting to appoligise by paying for it all. I looked down from where I'd led on the matress on the floor, over to the small suitcase filled with all of my possessions it was a sad sight really. I had nothing. The lonely bag seemed to sigh as it fell in on itself and dramatically fell to the floor with a huff. 

 

Once again I would be starting again. There was nothing for me here. Maybe I'd see what my dad has to say, but like hell am I living with him. I will try for mum, try to forgive him. But deep down I know I far too stuborn for that, as I'm sure she knew. She always told me I got that from him. It could eaisly be enough for me not to want to be, but I am far to stuborn for that. She'd always look at me in a certain way when she thought of him, the same dazed loving look would come across her face. Her eyes would crinkle, her thin lips would smile and she would sigh. She had forgiven him. 

 

Stepping onto the plane was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. People sourounded me, Instantly I hated it. I wanted to be driven down with Sasha - but she had been taken yesterday with mums coffin. And to be honest I couldn't be in that car with her ( my mothers corpse) and the man I am told to call dad for hours. The aroeplane was a small joy in comparrison. 'Always treasure the small things.' She had told me, I chucked to myself as I peeled off my leather jacket. Glancing down at my leather shoes knowing my feet would be drowning in sweat soon enough. Newyork was hot, I didn't feel like home here but close too it. Returning to some stupid backwards town wasn't going to help me, I wouldnt refine my identity, I wasn't going to maraculously find myself and love my dad. Things dont work like that. Working at the vetnary survace wasn't going to help save me. Teaching teens about animal cpr and moving hit animals wont help make me feel again. I was too far gone. I've been left alone too long. Sasha has this weird habbit of tilting her head if I comanded her to do something she missunderstood. I could see her doing it right now looking at the dead like bag that had came to life a mere few seconds ago. Before she would pounce on it, crumpling the already crumpled clothes. I dont wear paired socks and I dont fold clothes. Thats just not me. 

 

It's been two weeks. I packed up all her clothes and health equitment and dropped them off at the closest charity shop. I couldn't keep looking at them and feeling empty. Feeling like I should cry but I cant. It's just medical equitment, I use the animal substatues during my lectuers. It was just cold dead equitment. I gulped at the word dead, another almost reaction. They've been orgnising now for two whole weeks. She'd have a simple grave stone under a large oak in the nearest cematry. I havent cried. I havent even seen her. It's almost as if nothing has changed. Well kind of. My burgandy tank top stuck to my black bra and the rips in my black jeans did little to cool me, the wheather today was stupid. I actually couldn't wait to be able to breathe again. It was freaking December. 

 

As soon as the air stuadess walked passed me I turned off my phone ignoring anouther one of my dads 'cant wait to see you princess' texts. Grabbing a book from my rucksack. Five hours and I'd be there. Five hours and maybe I'd feel something again. Maybe. I can't help but wish I was hung over, maybe high or something. A distraction an obnormality but drining and drugs wern't me, they never were nor ever will be. I wish I felt some remenence of uncomfort other than feeling too warm. The heat wasnt a big enough distraction, only enough of one to be an annoying inconvienance. The smell of the obesely sweating man next to me blocked my nose and irratated me more. His meaty fists were clenched and I watched as little balls of sweat dropped from them. Yet he refused to take off the big assed looking space jacket. Puffy and sleveless I have no words but idocy for you. No that coat does not cover your sweat marks sir, yes you do look like a big sweaty mess. 

 

Would it be rude if I asked for a towel and handed it to him? Handed him some aresol? I sighed to myself not wanting to be a bitch, wanting to honestly help him. But knowing me, I'd say the wrong word and get him stuttery and embaraced. Instead I suffered silently, I asked for the distraction hand't ? Slightly less smelly would have beem okay. I didn't turn on the air con, I really didn't want to waft his smell around. Four hours and fifty minuets of this great. He smiled at me appoligetically, I only waved a hand and went back to reading hoping for any place to allow my mind to be. Anywhere but here. But the book a crappy romance I'd picked up at the airport store was relentless in its actually going no where and needed to be thrown from the window. 

 

It starts with two people growing up together. They both wanted to go somewhere. The guy makes it becomes an ass and she dosent. She gets knocked up and left behind. But shes happy, he turn out to be the farther.