Broken Fay-te by Cama seeney (summer beach reads .TXT) 📖

'How are you still taller than me? Screw this im not wearing heals.' He chuckle as I threw the heals across the room and actually fell on his ass laughing when Sasha chased them. She did a cute little pounce and slid across the floor. I snorted and went to go find where I had left my shoes yesterday. When I found them I walked over to where the chicken was still cooking with a plate and scooped it on burning my hand quickly. I took the plate over to the table and buttered eight pieces of bread. Liam would eat two, me and Mason would only eat one each. I turned to find Liam already calving it, neat pieces of chicken already laid out on a plate. When he'd gotten all he could from the chicken he carried the carcass over to where Sasha lay and allow her to eat it.

 

I picked up the plate she had been eating off of before and washed it in the sink. Drying it with a random towl I passed Mason a sandwich. Took my own and gave the other plate full to Liam. He smiled his thanks before wolfing them down. The drive down was met with silence. Not a word was uttered, Mason settled himself in the middle seat in the midnight blue pickup. The truck was well lived in but clean and had that pleasant new clean car smell. It must have been about six half six yet the sky was yet to lighten. Masons hand fitted into my bigger one which was clammy but he didn't seem to mind. I rubbed my thumb im little circles over the back of his hand making him chuckle softly to himself. We arrived at the church all too soon. I wasn't ready for the service.

 

I wasn't ready for anything. I felt like I could blow away in the wind. I shivered in the wind and walked to the nearest café. The ceremony didn't start for another hour or so but we had to go over the eulogy (my farther was reading it) and anyone else who wanted to say something. I walked into the café with stiff legs and an unsteady heart. The café was nice, a steady balance of red and black colouring. The furniture was morden and looked more like a bar (which by the looks of it, it became one at night). Two women were walking around with red pinnies and black shirts / trousers. For a backwards hick town there wasn't any cows in the room being milked in the corner or anything. It was surprisingly clean and simple, yet sophisticated.

 

I sat down in a booth and laid my head on the table. 'Oh no.' Liam muttered sounding utterly shocked. 'Hm?' I asked as Mason climbed over me and sat in my lap forcing me to look up. My farther was walking over with a coffee and three hot chocolates. Wow that man really didn't know me. I looked at Liams shocked expression and snorted as elegantly as you can. It wasn't quite a laugh but I was getting there. Sighing I turned to Mason and picked him up, taking him back over to the counter I ordered two mochas and an strawberry milkshake. Mason actually hated hot chocolate. He told me once that all he tasted was burnt milk.

 

My Ex farther looked shocked but quickly blanked his face. Passing Liam his drink was probably the funniest moment I'd experienced in a while. Mason jumped up and down on the spot looking terribly bored. 'Why don't you go get a coloring book sweetie?' I asked pointing to a bunch available for kinds use at the front of the café. He jumped up and ran over to the coloring books nearly causing two accidents. 'Can you please control the child?' My farther demanded as the second person looked down at him smiled and ruffled his hair. 'What children too much for you dad? You can walk away you know wouldn't be the first time...' I told him annoyed. Masons sweet voice trailed over as he apologized and explained why he was running. It was somewhere along the lines of pixies stealing the colouring book.

 

'That's not fair sky.' He complained softly as Mason crawled back onto my lap. Humming softly he began drawing. 'No what was not fair was leaving me to care for mum alone. I thought you loved her once.' I whisper shouted back. 'I just couldn't deal...' He trailed off knowing how stupid he sounded. 'You could have helped her. And its not fair what you said about Mason I guess were even.' I retorted angrier now. She died alone, and my so called dad well he was supposed to help me. She shouldn't have been alone. 'Yhea well after today you wont have to deal with any of us, Franklin.' I hinted. He should know that I knew. His eyes widened and flashed to Liam who shrugged playing it off but we all know nothing would be the same again.

 

 

Chapter Eight

The funeral part two

 

The hour passed in uncomfortable silence. It wouldn't have been so bad if it had only been Mason, but I was furious with my farther and couldn't seem to look at Liam without feeling an instant rush of guilt. I had almost forgoten how easy it was to be with him. I had always wondered if he ever thought of me, but I never wanted to check. It was too painful. I used to think about the days (and sometimes presious nights) we'd spent together. He was my first real boyfriend, my first real everything. It was normal for me to miss that. Wasn't it? 

 

I sighed and placed my head on Masons shoulder, I had missed him the most. I didn't want to give him up again. It would kill me, Mason was the reason I lived the reason I was back. I was so sorry for leaving him and breaking his poor, fragile little heart and nothing would ever drag me away again. That I promise. 

 

Eventually the time came to go to the church. I felt like I was sweating through my sweat. I was so nervous and clammy I hardly knotised the walk over. Hardly paid attention to what the preacher - I mean preist had to say. I didnt really knotice the whole world around of me until I found my self at the front of the room with thirty maybe fourty people staring at me. 

 

'Me and my mother. It was just us two for the last few years. We werent alone, we had each other. In the end that love was never enough. But I will always cherish the time I spent with her, the days I would wake with her in my bed from a particularly bad anxiety attack. I never minded but in the morning when I snuck out of my room I felt like a naughty school girl slipping away to do something. And I suppose I was. I can't deny that she was naive but she never left me unloved. I didn't need friends, I didn't have family. She was all I had. My door will forever be open to her, the best night of my life I spent with my mother, the worst? My mother was there to console me, when I was too tired or hungry to function she was suffering and fighting for me with me. There was nothing more my mother could do for me, she is now lost. My only regret is that she died alone. I will forever regret that, I hope she was sleeping and the process was painless. I will always love you brest friend, farther, uncle, ant, teacher, critique, complamentor. Mother. Rest in peace your battle is over.'

 

Tears ran down my face with no shame, I didnt feel childish or broken, just sad. I missed her, I could openly admit this. I couldn't stand to hear what other people had to say about her so I tuned them out. When my farther walked to the stage however I listened in. What did he have to say?

 

'There was a time I missed you, a time I loved you. A time I couldn't live without you. And now I moarn for that woman. The one who made me strive to be a better person. The one who took the numbness away, the one who gifted me a daughter. Even if it is too late to realise this now. I will forever love you. I am now a stranger to you, and you me. But I will also forever be yours.' He wiped a single tear from his eye, I felt nothing but anger from him. Forgiveness is nothing I handed out freely. He could wait in line all day, the forgiveness he was chasing would never be given to him. 

 

People rose at once, my farther walked over to the closed casket and put his hands in place to lift it. Tears still fell freely from my eyes. She had left me all alone. With nothing but loss and betrayal to keep me company. Josh and Liam helped a few guys I didnt recognise carry her away. Carry her passed the other graves, until we came to the one with an oak infront of it. The rain began to fall softly. I closed my eyes, for a second I could pretend I was okay. For a second I could pretend I didn't want to scream at the top of my lungs I'm not okay. That without love I would turn entirely into the ice queen I had been hiding from. Sometimes emotions hit me so hard that all that I felt was nothing. It was a sort of home now. 

 

I watched her cassket being lowered into the ground and fell to my knees in front of the hole in the ground that would become her dark home. There was no stopping the onslaught of tears now, even Mason was carried away from me. He didn't understand, he couldn't figure out how to help me and it was breakin him too. I watched as people threw mud ontop of her. I didn't move, I couldn't. 

 

Sobs racked my body, yet I was left alone. No one dared aproach me, silence echoed all around me. Once by one people left. Even Josh and Liam. They had obligations. After an hour or so of sitting next to me in the wet rain they had to leave, Mason needed to be cared for. I couldn't tell them it was okay for them to go. I coulnd't tell them I was leaving too... I stood on unsteady feet , slowly I stood and made my way into the forest. It didn't greet me like it usually did. I dont know how long I had been walking but I found myself drawn to a little pond hidden deep in the forest. I kept walking, I couldn't seem to stop. Eventually the water surounded me completely. It began creeping around my ankles. Grew to my knees.  Surpassed my hips. And then my shoulders. I stood still on unsteady feet. What was I doing? 

 

My whole body was numb, yet I knew I was slowly