If I Had A Choice by Abigail Livinghouse (book recommendations based on other books txt) 📖

kinda type.” She said. “But Chelsea wanted me to talk to you. She said you looked afraid when she refused to show her powers. She wanted to know why.” Circa finished. I nodded.

 

“Oh I see, so you’re the messenger?” I asked. Another shrug, but I could see the small bit of curiosity shining in her odd, golden eyes. I cleared my throat. “Uh, well . . . it’s, um . . .”

 

I looked for a way to explain myself without actually explaining myself. Eliot warned us all that if we told any new arrivals about the hellish nature of him or the horrible way he ran Carom House, then the punishment would be far worse than the children finding out about Eliot’s cruelness. So we kept quiet, in fear of what this terrible unknown punishment might be. So, I decided to try to tell a bit of the truth, only shrouded enough so that Circa wouldn’t be able to decipher the whole truth.

 

“Well, you see . . . the rules here are very strict, and when disobeyed the punishments can be a bit–harsh.” I said, struggling for the right words. Circa cocked her head to the side.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She quipped. I pursed my lips, thinking. I couldn’t tell her everything, no, I could barely tell her anything. I ran a hand through my hair, Circa watching me carefully.

 

“It’s hard to explain.” I said at last. She just shrugged again.

 

“So? Try to.” She said, as if it was that easy. With deliberate slowness, I got up off the bed and went to my door, going halfway out into the hall.

 

“Make yourself at home. And a piece of advice for you, just listen to Eliot.” I warned.

 

Circa got off the bed as well, and came up to me, staring intently at my face. She was at least a head shorter than me, but the intensity in her stare was enough to make her look like a giant.

 

“Is there something going on here? I can tell there’s something wrong. I might not be a mind reader like you, but I know that there’s an odd shift in the air here.” Circa said, her gaze sharpening. I shook my head, sliding all the way out into the hall until only my head peeked into the room.

 

“Don’t ask questions. Just listen and obey.” I cautioned. Circa ‘s lip curled in a judging sneer.

 

“What? Like a dog?” She asked.

 

“Yes.” I said without hesitation, and ducked out of my room.

Chapter 7

I walked quickly to the end of the hall and went into the last room on the right, where Sam sat on his bed, sketching on a tablet. I closed the door behind me and locked it. When I turned around, Sam was watching me, a skeptical expression on his face. He held up his pad, showing an intricate design with a beautiful bald eagle spreading its wings in the center. Sam was a wonderful artist, like most kids in the house were. Sometimes, when children couldn’t quite express visions they’ve had, they draw them. Even though Sam doesn’t have visions, he still draws. His work is always so magnificent. I came over and sat down on the edge of the bed, judging his sketch with only a glance.

 

“It’s beautiful.” I said in a deadened tone.

 

Sam raised one eyebrow at me before he began making alterations to his already perfect drawing, his head bent over it like an enticing book he just had to finish.

 

“What’s bothering you?” He asked, his focus seemingly consumed by his art but instead partially fixed on me. I clasped my hands together in my lap, playing with my fingers.

 

“Some of the new kids are wondering what’s wrong with this place.” I said.

 

Sam nodded, absently erasing a mistake on his paper. “Well, they are certainly a bit quicker than the last group. It took them weeks to see through Eliot.” He said.

 

My eyes widened in alarm. “You don’t find this a bit startling? Not at all?” I asked.

 

He shrugged, still focused on the tablet in front of him. Frustrated, I got up and began to pace around the room, from the window on the far north wall, to the door. Sam’s room was small and compact, just like every bedroom here. He had a writing desk in one corner, a single bed in the other, a small dresser, and a medium sized closet. This was how each and every room in Carom House was laid out, unless you had a roommate like some of the younger kids, then there’d be two single beds. Everything else would be shared.

 

Even though I was nervously pacing, my mind was reeling. Could the new group actually have Eliot figured out already? Was it possible? Usually, Eliot got by on the children’s trust for a few weeks, until he showed his true colors. But, could the new group of teens possibly see through Eliot? I shook my head. I admit, he had seemed a little bit off when I first met him, but I had trusted him. That is, until he had me writhing in agony on the ground, punishing me for not addressing him as “master”. Everyone except Kelly were expected to call Eliot master, no exceptions. And when I’d refused, well, let’s just say I didn’t do that again. However, these teens didn’t know what Eliot could do. They didn’t know his power, and if they disobeyed him, then they surely would get a bitter taste of that power. I had warned Circa, and I just hoped that she’d follow my warning and pass it on to the others. But I had my doubts.

 

I looked at Sam, who seemed to have finished sketching as he was observing me quietly. “So, you don’t find this strange?” I asked again.

 

“No. I don’t.” He answered right away. At my bewildered expression, he explained. “Think about it, Siena. These are teenagers, not children. Rarely does Eliot bring in all teens like today. They’re smarter, much more advanced than children. They don’t brainwash as easy.” He said matter-of-factly. I continued my pacing, as Sam continued speaking.

 

“All you’re doing is worrying for nothing. They’re teenagers, and they can fend for themselves.” He said. I stopped abruptly, staring at Sam’s smooth, expressionless face. “Don’t worry over something that’s not worth worrying over.” He said.

Chapter 8

At dinner, things were stiff. Eliot sat at the head of the table, Kelly at his right. Her color had faded back to normal, to mine and everyone’s disappointment, but her jaw was taught and she was eyeing everyone with open hatred. Though, her anger wasn’t needed to thicken the tension in the atmosphere, it was already thick enough to cut with a knife.

 

Alexander, Chelsea, and Circa sat across from me, Sam sat two people away from my right, while the two people in the middle were William and Leonard. Leonard was sitting as tall as could be, his spine straight as a ruler. His green eyes were fixated on a wilting centerpiece, as he seemed to be avoiding eye contact with everyone who attempted a glance. William was almost identical, except his eyes were wandering everywhere, and resting on everyone. When they came to me, I looked away, afraid of what I’d see when I looked into those large brown eyes.

 

It’s easiest for me to read people when I’m near them. However if they aren’t paying much attention to me I’m able to keep away, but when they look directly at me it’s nearly impossible to resist their thoughts. It’s like they’re screaming at me, willing me to listen. I could already hear some people thinking much too loudly, their scrambled thoughts creating a faint hum, like when you’re flipping through stations on a radio, this was just like that, waiting for me to tune into one station. I kept my focus though, paying as little mind as possible to the people around me.

 

Circa was laughing as she talked with Chelsea, who was smiling faintly and nodding her head. Alexander was keeping busy watching me, his eyes glued to my face. I refused to look up, I didn’t want to read anybody right now, especially not him. I could feel his gaze, his red-hot gaze burning a hole right through me with those oddly colored eyes. I felt sweat begin to form on my brow, my heart beat picking up speed. I was about ready to look up just to end this when Eliot tapped a spoon against a water glass.

 

My head snapped up, breaking the trance. I was so grateful, I didn’t even care that it was Eliot who was speaking. I would’ve picked anyone to talk just so that I could escape the fiery depths of Alexander’s stare. Eliot cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention, even though all eyes were already on him.

 

“I’d like to propose a toast.” He said loudly, raising his glass high above his head. “To the new arrivals.” He grinned broadly, as some feebly, some proudly, raised there glasses along with him.

 

“May your stay here be full of experience, teaching, and knowledge.” He said, “To the new arrivals.”

 

Some shouted, while others merely whispered. I could hear Alexander’s deep voice agreeing with Eliot as he drank from his glass. I took barely a sip, then set my glass down.

 

“Now, by all means, let’s eat.” Eliot announced, and the food was promptly served.

 

It was the usual when new kids came, steak, baked potatoes, a small salad, and some vegetable to go along with it. Most of us took little, knowing that if we gorged ourselves Eliot would get pissed because we wouldn’t have any leftovers for tomorrow. I ate very small bites, trying to ration my small helping of dry meat, half-cooked potato, and cold green beans. Alexander, Circa, and William however, took so much their plates were nearly overflowing. Though Chelsea and Leonard took about as much as me, seeming reserved about the food and what their group members had taken.

 

A small wrinkle creased my forehead in confusion. How did they know to take little food? How did they know, but the others didn’t? I stole a glance at Eliot. His face was smooth, his jaw set. He seemed to be calculating something. I bristled in anticipation, wondering what kind of gruesome things were going through his head, but before Eliot could do anything, someone suddenly spoke.

 

“Yo”, Everyone’s heads swiveled around to face the person who had spoken. It was Circa, whose mouth was stuffed with food, and who