If I Had A Choice by Abigail Livinghouse (book recommendations based on other books txt) 📖

It if was my decision, this wouldn’t be my life. If it was my choice, I would be living an ordinary life with a regular family and ordinary friends. That’s the life I would’ve had, if only I had had it my way. I know Eliot would never let me go, and Sam needs me here, but honestly, this wasn’t my choice. This life, my life, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, not even the person I hated most.

Sitting in the window seat and pondering what to do next, yep, that was me. My life, as Siena Thom, wouldn’t have been my first pick. But this was picked for me, and I don’t have a choice but to follow along with whatever Eliot Carom, my “master” wishes for me. It’s only in my best interest he claims, yeah right. Keeping me holed up in this place which was equivalent to hell wasn’t exactly in my best interest. Not by my standards, or Sam Keller’s for that matter.

Sam was my best friend here, a reserved guy who mostly kept to himself. He didn’t say much, but at least when I’m with him I don’t feel so alone.

“Siena, come downstairs.” Kelly, our “camp counselor” as Eliot told the kids here, leaned in the doorway to my bedroom.

She was short, with layered brown hair and brown eyes to match. She stood with her arms folded across her chest, leaning back and making herself look even smaller. Don’t be fooled by her though, here at Carom Housing, Kelly was feared by all the children and respected by most of the adults. Me, I find her laughable. She thinks she’s so big and bad when really, I clear her height by about a foot, and I have more confidence in my fingernail that Kelly does in her whole body. It’s all an act that doesn’t scare me anymore.

“Why?” I asked her.

I could see the tightness of her jaw and the crease in her forehead at the mention of her favorite word. She absolutely hates when children ask “why?”, because then she has to come up with a valid reason as to why she’s making an ass out of herself. Usually, what she comes up with is pretty humorous.

“Just get the fuck downstairs.” She said, with a flip of her short hair and a spin on her heel, she was out of my room and down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes. There was no way in hell I was going to follow her. Empty threats just don’t work on me anymore. Actually, real threats don’t do the trick either.

Well, I was downstairs now, dragged out of my room by Eliot. And when I say dragged, I mean literally dragged. He marched upstairs, grabbed me by the back of my shirt, and towed me out of my room, down the staircase, and dropped my ass right in the middle of the living room. I hadn’t made any sound. No, I wouldn’t have given him that satisfaction.

“Why am I down here anyway?” I asked him once I was brushed off and back on my feet.

His icy eyes locked on me. My dark green eyes stared dully back. Eliot was tall, lean, had handsome features, and golden brown hair. His light blue eyes popped out against his dark hair, and whenever he looked at you it was like he was burning a hole through your soul. I know it might sound dramatic, but that’s how it felt when you were looked at with a person who had no soul.

“New arrivals.” He said with a slight curve of his lips.

I kept my expression blank as I nodded. He stalked off, back upstairs, probably to force someone else down, and that was when I let the disgust and horror show on my face. New arrivals meant more kids, and more kids, meant more misery. Eliot and Kelly were the only cruel ones here, Jasmine and Lilly and most of the other head figures were actually very nice and kindhearted. But Eliot did the best he could to keep Carom House a miserable and desolate place. He was the founder after all, but who the hell lets a sadist found a boarding house?

You’re probably pretty confused right now. Well, let me clear some things up. Carom House, is a place where people send their children when they feel there is something otherworldly wrong with them. This place, this hell on earth, is home to about twenty people who have supernatural abilities. Sam? He’ll tell you how you’re feeling and even influence the way you feel, if you’re angry and he wants you to feel happy, he’ll mess with your emotions so that you’re absolutely giddy. Eliot? He has a unique way of inflicting pain upon somebody using his mind. And it’s real pain, if he wants to cut you, he won’t even have to touch you and you’ll end up bleeding. Me? I can often tell what others around me are thinking and I’m able to change their thoughts. In other words, I bend their will to fit my own. It’s not an ability I take lightly, or use often, much to Eliot’s dismay. My family? Shipped me off here about a year ago, when I was fourteen, because they said I “acted strangely”.

This place is referenced as a wonderful place that can cure your children when really, it’s just a hiding spot for freaks.

“Siena”, Sam said softly, coming into the room where I was standing in utter disgust at the news of more kids coming to the place where they’d spend the rest of their lives.

“You heard?” He asked, his expression desolate.

Sam was a sweet guy, with sharp cheekbones, a tall, lanky build, wavy black hair, and eyes the color of blue topaz gems. We looked a lot alike, with my long waves of raven hair, my tallness, and my angled features. The only difference was the eyes, whereas his were blue mine were forest green. I shook my head, covering my face with my hands and groaning loudly.

“Why?” I asked when I dropped my hands. Sam watched me quietly, waiting for my little tantrum to end, but I was just getting started. “Why the hell is he bringing more in? Isn’t he satisfied with the number of victims he already has?” I asked desperately, wishing terribly that this wasn’t happening. Sam stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders hunched.

“One would think.” He said almost distractedly.

I sighed, the tight knot in my chest only getting even more constricted thinking about all the children here and the more to come. Sam and I were the oldest here, him sixteen and me fifteen. All the others were under the age of thirteen. I took another deep breath, and another, and another, feeling the beginnings of hyperventilation coming on.

“Hey”, Sam reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder, his gaze calm and reassuring. “Don’t worry. Kids here are starting to see through Eliot and Kelly. They aren’t as easily fooled as they were before.” He said gently, trying to make me feel better.

His soothing tone and calm words had no effect on me. I was pissed, and beyond reason. The ice encased around Eliot’s heart would never melt. I knew that for a fact. This cruelness of his must run in his family, considering Kelly is his sister and just as vicious. God, I hated them both. When I was a child I had bought their lies about safety, necessity, and a sense of tranquility. Yeah, fat chance of that. All of those false promises had been shot to hell the minute I walked through the doors of Carom House. And my fate was identical to those of the children who would be coming through those exact same doors today.

Eliot had all of us line up from shortest to tallest in the living room, within eyeshot of the foyer where the new additions would be arriving. Me and Sam were the tallest, he stood to my right. He was staring straight ahead, his expression unreadable. I took another deep breath, shooting a glance to my left where a stone-faced girl named Anna stood, who was about two inches shorter than me. She was only thirteen, and I could see her lip quiver with fear and unshed tears at the anticipation of more kids. I forced myself to look ahead, away from Anna. I couldn’t comfort her now, not with Eliot watching over us, poised like a cobra and ready to sink his teeth into any one of us.

Kelly and Jasmine had gone out to retrieve the children, and suddenly the door opened. I stiffened, seeing many others in the line freeze as well. Some were only a few years old, the youngest was about