If I Had A Choice by Abigail Livinghouse (book recommendations based on other books txt) 📖

face twisted into a nasty grimace.

 

“So as long as we don’t act like cold heartless bastards like him, we only entertain him more?” She clarified. I nodded.

 

“Well, I for one am a little worried about acting out.” William spoke up for the first time during the whole conversation.

 

He was still weak, covered in a sheen of sweat, and clutching his side, but he was able to talk through gritted teeth in a hushed voice. Alexander moved forward, seeming a bit hesitant as to what to do for William, but I just waved him away and moved to change William’s bandage myself. He grimaced when I began to remove the soiled gauze, but otherwise remained the same and continued to speak.

 

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I might want to follow in Leonard’s footsteps, considering he wasn’t the one who got hurt tonight.” William said, letting out a gasp of air from the effort it took him to talk.

 

I shushed him, wrapping the white fabric gently around his torso. He had made a good point about Leonard, however. While Chelsea, Circa, William, and Alexander all seemed connected somehow, or at least acknowledged one another, Leonard had not. He had blatantly ignored them all. He had given everyone the cold shoulder except for the worker’s and Eliot, whom he had addressed with nothing but polite poise. Some might say he’s a suck up, but others might believe that he is just intelligent.

 

“My guess about Leonard is that he knows what Eliot is capable of doing, and has already figured out how to avoid it.” I said, thinking out loud, however gaining everyone’s attention at my statement.

 

“Very possible”, Alexander chimed in, “but how would he have known so quickly? I mean, he seemed to be pissy all the way here, could he have found out where we were going? Cuz I sure as hell didn’t know we were coming here.” He said, a bit irritably, as if he still couldn’t believe someone had fooled him into coming to Carom House.

 

Chelsea, making sure Circa was alright sitting up by herself, moved away and spoke. “Leonard didn’t talk at all when we met him. He barely even looked at us. I wasn’t sure if he was angry or what.” She said, a puzzled look on her face.

 

I pursed my lips, deciding to ask them the question that had been on my mind for a while now. “What were you guys told when you came here? What did you expect?”

 

Chelsea seemed a bit surprised at my question, however Alexander, Circa, and William, did not. Circa, grimacing, spoke.

 

“My parents told me that I was a troubled teen, and I needed military school. But they said they found a great boarding school instead. They showed me brochures and said that it would be good for me. I didn’t exactly agree to going, but they took me anyway.” She shrugged, however her face pinched in pain even from the small gesture. Before anyone else could speak, I interrupted.

 

“You guys need to rest. We’ll talk more later.” I promised, but it was not a promise that I could positively keep.

 

Circa, seeming to sense my flimsy statement, eyed me warily as Alexander, Chelsea, and I left the room, closing the door behind us.

 

“What now?” Chelsea whispered.

 

“Nothing now. We’ve done what we could for them. Now, we let them rest.” I said, but it was clear on both their faces that that was not the answer they were looking for.

 

“No”, Alexander said, and I raised my eyebrows.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Alexander smirked. “You wanted to know what we were told when we came here. Well, I was told that since I got expelled I would be going to a new school. I didn’t really care, plus I wasn’t worried. Whatever private preppy school they were gonna send me too I was pretty sure I would be able to annoy the hell out of the people there and end up getting kicked out like before. But I hadn’t expected the place to be as fucked up and twisted as it is.” He said, grimacing at the end of his sentence.

 

Before I could say anything, Chelsea began speaking. “Since my grades were going good my parents said that they wanted to challenge me by sending me to a private school. I didn’t argue because I figured it would be to help me get some good standards for college. Then we came here, and I was a little hesitant. I suppose I had a right to be.” She said, almost grumbling.

 

I thought about all of their reasons, and realized that they all had a common theme, as most did. It would be better for me. A private school. Something to help me. There was nothing wrong with them, however they were fed lies that made them believe that they had some sort of problem that had to be fixed. I nearly laughed. Yeah, that’s how it was for all of us here.

 

“I don’t really know what to tell you.” I said, as they both watched me speak with adept interest. “We were all told that we were either fucked up or needed some sort of help or guidance and then we were sent here. We’re all in the same boat.” I said. Alexander laughed, and I looked up at him in surprise.

 

“A pretty fucked up boat.” He muttered.

 

I sighed, standing up and motioning at Alexander. He followed me, a questioning look on his face.

 

“We’ll leave you two alone to rest.” I said, pushing Alexander out and closing the door before either could object.

 

“So what are we going to do about Eliot?” Alexander asked as soon as we had walked a few steps.

 

Acting on instinct, I threw out my arm, hitting Alexander in the chest and shoving him up against the wall. I covered his mouth with my hand, my eyes warning him not to act out.

 

“You listen and you listen good. We do absolutely nothing. If word gets around that there’s a conspiracy brewing right under Eliot’s nose then he’ll have your ass. Now I don’t like you, or your little buddies here, but I don’t want to see you get killed. This is the last time I do you a favor, if anyone asks you have no idea what happened to those two in there.” I paused and jutted my finger at the closed door to his left. His eyes wandered there for a second before snapping back to my face, anger blazing like a tide rippling on the shore. I continued despite that.

 

“I suggest you go into your bedroom, shove yourself under the covers and stay there until this all blows over. People saw us, word will get around. It’s best to lay low for a while so that way we don’t raise any suspicions to anyone, especially Kelly or Eliot. Understand?” When I was finished, I released Alexander and took a step back.

 

He was scowling at me, obviously pissed but I really didn’t care. Better to be pissed than dead. He nodded. “Yeah, I understand. You don’t have to bitch to me about it, I’m not stupid. And you can go back to worrying about yourself because I sure as hell don’t need you playing mommy for me or the others. We can take care of ourselves.”

 

I almost laughed at how stupid those words that came out of his mouth just then were. Sure, they could totally take care of themselves. That’s why I had to come to the rescue to save their sorry asses downstairs. Well that was the last time. Apparently though Alexander wasn’t done.

 

“Go sell your bullshit to someone else. I know you don’t care about anyone here, except for maybe your boyfriend who looks like he’s ready to piss his pants every second something goes wrong. Face it Siena, you’re just as self-centered as Leonard and just as backstabbing.”

 

I rolled my eyes, his words brushing off my shoulder. One thing I got out of what he had said, probably the first time I ever learned something from Alexander speaking, was that Leonard had betrayed them and it certainly meant something to Alexander.

 

“If you’re trying to hurt me you’re going to have to do better than that.” I said with a smile on my face. Really I wasn’t happy at all, but I might as well let him think I was.

 

He snickered, a grin slipping into place on him as well. I automatically recoiled, curious as to what he had in mind yet not entirely sure I wanted to find out.

 

“Oh Siena, you think you’re so valuable. You think Eliot really needs you? Answer me this sweetheart: if Eliot really valued you enough to keep you around instead of mounting you above the fireplace, then why would he go searching for me? A better, more improved version of you?” Alexander seethed, obviously proud that he had this leverage on me.

 

I had to say, this struck me in the very pit of my stomach ever since Alexander and the others had arrived. I couldn’t help the downward curl of my lip. I couldn’t disagree with him either, and that was the worst part. That was what left an icy coil of fear settling in my chest, sending my heart into a flutter. Still, it wasn’t enough for Alexander.

 

“It’s just a matter of time before I’m proven to be the better pawn in this whole game. Soon you’ll just be removed as another useless knight in tarnished armor. Enjoy your time here, because I plan on bringing it to a halt very soon. So don’t test me, because if you think about it, your life rests in my hands and whether I want to show my value or not and how soon.” He turned around, and you could tell by the way he walked that he was proud of all he had said. He looked over his shoulder for one more go before disappearing into his bedroom.

 

“Sweet dreams, Siena. I’ll see you tomorrow for practice.” The door slammed shut.

Chapter 15

I was scared. Yes, I’ll admit to that. I was scared that Alexander was right. This was exactly what he had wanted. He had been fishing to scare me and he knew that he got it. I swallowed, pushing my fear down as far as I could get it and turned to head into my room. When I spun around, I jumped and nearly yelped in surprise, staring into the cold green eyes and expressionless face of Leonard. 

 

He was taller than me by a few inches, enough that I had to look slightly up at him. I opened my mouth to speak, but he pressed one index finger to his lips, signaling for quiet. 

 

I could hear my heart pounding, feel my palms dampen with sweat. If Leonard, the person who had turned his back on the people who he had arrived here with was in front of me and on high alert, then something bad must be happening or about to happen. I stood as still as possible, my eyes darting everywhere trying to identify the threat. 

 

Suddenly Leonard reached out and clamped his hand over my mouth, dragging me against the wall. I screamed in surprise  as he pressed his back to the wall and held my