If I Had A Choice by Abigail Livinghouse (book recommendations based on other books txt) 📖

body against his chest. My heart was now beating against my rib cage in a loud and harsh rhythm, meanwhile my thoughts scattered. What the hell was going on? 

 

An idea gripped me then, and I twisted my neck around to try and get a glimpse into Leonard's eyes. Just one look and I'd be able to get inside his head and know what was happening.

 

He seemed to realize what I was trying to do, and his fingers tightened around my mouth, pressing into the flesh of my cheek. He pushed my head the opposite way, so that I was now staring at the floor. I swallowed, my breathing getting faster and faster in terror. 

 

Faint noises were resounding on the hardwood steps leading to the floor we were on, and with a jolt of surprise and unmasked fear, I realized that someone was coming upstairs. I tried to let out a scream, or maybe a gasp, but it just came out as a whimper against his hand. 

 

Leonard's grip tightened even further, as he forced the side of my face against his chest so that I was unable to move my head. 

 

Why wouldn't he just let me read him? I only wanted to know what was going on. I wouldn't go any further, I was in complete control. I couldn't tell if he was afraid or knew exactly what was happening, but from what I could hear his heartbeat was completely calm and even. 

 

The steps were louder and getting closer, now I could see the top of someone's head peeking through the rails. My eyes widened as Kelly came into view, rounding the corner and coming right towards us. 

Chapter 16

She was going to look for the new kids. She was going to see if any of us were helping them. We would be seen together and that would be it. Eliot would be furious, and god knows what he would do to us. 

 

Obviously I had seen what Eliot could do, and I certainly didn't want that to happen to me or Leonard. Even though the guy remained elusive and cold since he arrived, no one deserved what our "master" could do to them.

 

 As Kelly rounded the stairs and came face to face with us, I was surprised to see that her expression didn't change. Stoic, unfeeling, nothing out of the ordinary. All of my senses were screaming at me to hide, to run, to do something. Anything other than standing here exposed while shoved against Leonard's chest.

 

 All of my weight was against Leonard, and as Kelly started forward, we fell backward. My breath caught as we sank down quickly until landing on a hard surface with a barely audible thump. I gasped as Leonard released me, and scrambled to my feet.

 

"What the hell was that? How did you-" My frantic questions were cut off as the door swung open and none other than Kelly entered. I spun around, too astonished to make a sound.

 

 "What the fuck are you doing in here? Sounds like a herd of elephants is parading through your room Thom." She scolded angrily.

 

 I blinked, realizing as I looked around that I was in fact in my room. How the fuck-

 

"Siena? Are you deaf?" Kelly scowled at me and I shook my head, coming back to earth.

 

"No, I heard you. Sorry, I fell out of bed." Lame excuse, but it was all I had on short notice. 

 

Her eyes narrowed as she scanned the room, and my heart skipped a beat when her gaze swept over Leonard on the floor. I had finally caught up to what he was doing, he was using his abilities so that Kelly couldn't see him. It was what he was doing all along and really I was overreacting.

 

"If you're up to something you know I will find out." She said, pointing a small finger in my face. I nodded.

 

"Dually noted."

 

Her brown eyes flashed, anger and disbelief before she reluctantly left the room and closed the door behind her.

 

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding since Kelly had come in as Leonard slowly faded back into his solid form, standing in front of me instead of crouched on the floor like I thought he had been. I had so many questions for him and nowhere to begin. I tried something easy to begin with.

 

"How did you know Kelly would be coming upstairs to check on us?"

 

The look of complete disconnected lack of emotion didn't leave his face. Leonard showed no signs of listening to me, his eyes wouldn't even meet mine and I knew why. He didn't want me to get a peek in on his thoughts. I sighed, standing with my arms crossed. I wasn't going to leave until he answered me, I knew that he had heard what I said. After a few moments of silence, he finally did.

 

"I was downstairs and heard her talking on my way up. I wanted to get in my room before she made her rounds." He said in a tone as desolate as his expression.

 

Something flickered in his eyes when he spoke that jolted me. Some sort of emotion that was gone too quickly for me to identify. Just the way he worded his explanation gave me the impression that he was lying.

 

"Kelly likes you. You would've been fine if she caught and questioned you, you know." I challenged. It was a far shot. He could very well tell me to fuck off and go on with his life, or he could answer me. It would be either one or the other, and there was no middle.

 

His eyes flitted to mine for a fraction of a second before he went to look away, but I zeroed in on them nonetheless. His eyes were the color of pine trees as they're growing up. Soft, green, inviting you in. Swirling harmoniously around his pupils, which enlarged as I dove in.

 

Chapter 17

Sometimes I am shown images, sometimes thoughts. It all depends on what the person is open to sharing with me. When it came to Leonard, I was still looking at his face. It sounded like he was talking to me, but no words were coming out of his mouth.  Like when I had read Alexander's thoughts. It was as if he was speaking directly to me, but his lips weren't moving. When people are able to communicate to me with their thoughts, they do not speak. Thoughts are merely words before they are spoken. Once they are heard, there is no need for them to come out of your mouth.

 

Just leave me be. I didn't come here to get interrogated by a fifteen year old girl.

 

"I didn't know you came here to get interrogated by anybody." I said in my defense. Fifteen or not, I had seen and experienced more than this sixteen year old boy.

 

One thing about reading people is that I have to respond out loud to their thoughts. They cannot hear what I think.

 

Get. Off. My. Fucking. Back.

 

The thought was a snarl, and I had to restrain myself from flinching. I swallowed, righting myself. I wasn't about to back down, I wanted my answers just as much as Leonard wanted me to get off his fucking back. I would do so, as soon as I got what I wanted.

 

"Just tell me, why did you hide me? Why did you even come upstairs at all? To warn the others?" The words were out before I had time to rethink them. The well thought out questions I had planned in my head were thrown out the window the second I opened my mouth. I didn't have time to regret them before Leonard's thoughts came flying at me, furious and harsh.

 

Why would I give a damn about a single one of you? The only person who matters right about now is myself, and if you'd be so kind as to let me the fuck go, then I'd be happy to leave your room.

 

This time I did flinch, and doing so broke the gaze I had him locked in. Leonard wasted no time in rushing for the door, and slamming it as he left without another thought, or word. 

Chapter 18

Your mind is your own private, sacred place. When someone invades that, it shakes you. It shakes you in a way that you will never forget, and never want to experience again. That's why I don't like to use my abilities on people. They hate it. It's like a form of torture. Your personal thoughts and feelings are no longer yours anymore. They're someone else's, and they'll be that someone else's for as long as you both live.

 

Now sitting in my room, I regret reading Leonard. It wasn't that I heard anything enormously private or anything like that, it's just that none of that was for me to know. Absolutely none of it. I knew that when I entered his mind. I knew that when I entered Circa's mind. Alexander was different. I had only caught a few of his thoughts by accident, a mere glance into his subconscious. And yet, that was enough to have me lying here in my own pool of guilt.

 

Someone knocked at my door. I didn't answer, and a few more seconds later that person called out my name.

 

"Siena? It's Sam. Are you alright?"

 

An interesting question. I hadn't really been alright since the new teenagers had arrived. And if I really took that question to the extreme, then I would say I haven't been alright since I arrived at Carom house one year ago. But that wasn't the answer Sam was looking for, so I just gave him the easy one that he wanted.

 

"I'm fine." I said softly, loud enough for him to hear but not enough to alert