The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

That single noise paralyzed you temporarily. While your body was rendered motionless, my scientists took control of your brain and made you feel like you were on fire.”
He stands and begins to walk around the room. “Normally, your brain would have told your body to react to this artificial fire. Since we had control of it, this didn’t happen. We played with your brain, made it think that you were on fire.” He smiles. “We then moved on to the ice, and everything that came after that.
“This technology took us months to develop. That is why you were given a break. We decided to test this on you first, because you are obviously very strong.” Suddenly, he changes the subject. “I hear that you have a husband and a child.” This time, I do nod.
“And I have been told that your husband is my son.” Once again, I nod. “And do you love my son?”
“Yes.” He looks at me for a moment. I try to figure out if he’s asking these questions out of curiosity or if he is planning on using this information against me.
“Does my son love you?”
“Both of them do,” I say. I hadn’t meant to give him this piece of information- that I knew Collin- but it slipped out.
He is surprised, just as I knew he would be. “You know Collin?” I nod. “And you say that he loves you. Do you love him?”
“I did.” I look him in the eye, trying to convince him, and myself, that I no longer love Collin. “That was a long time ago.”
“Oh.” He hasn’t bought it. “I actually just saw Collin the other day. He’s doing very well, that should make you happy. He doesn’t work for the Academy any more, either.” He looks to the corner of the room. “I regret sending him here, sometimes. Part of me thinks that I should have kept him at home. But the past is the past.” He looks at me again. I’m shocked to hear this, that he regrets giving up his son. In all the stories that I’ve heard, and each time that I have seen him, he seems like a heartless man who would never regret something like that.
“Yes, he is doing very well. He has a beautiful house, one that he built. A little ways outside of the city. A big tree in the yard, a picket fence, and it has blue shutters and a blue door.” He rubs his chin for a moment, and looks confused. “There is also a black flag hanging outside. I never understood that part.”
“It’s to show that he won’t surrender,” I whisper, smiling to myself. When I realize that I said it out loud, I hang my head.
“Interesting,” is all he says. He starts to get up, but then sits again. “Do you want to know more about him?” I don’t want to. But my head lifts anyway, and my eyes ears hunger for any information on her.
“He is married. Her name is Kate. She really is a beautiful girl. They will be celebrating their fifth anniversary in a few months. And they are expecting their second child shortly after that.” He smiles, and I know that he knows how much pain this is causing. He enjoys it. “Any other information that you want about your dear Collin?”
I almost say that I do. But I stop. Instead, I lean in close to him. And spit in his eye.
He is oddly calm about the whole thing. “That is the second time that you have insulted me in such a way,” he says. “It would be wise of you to remember that I am now in charge of your daily sessions in this room. I control what happens to you for two hours each day. And you should probably know that today, I was going easy on you.”
He leaves, and I try to stand. My legs haven’t recovered yet, so I just fall back to the chair. When I settle back against the metal chair, I realize how exhausted this new form of torture has made me. It’s as if my blood is full of lead, and it takes all my concentration to move my arm a couple inches.
I don’t know how long I stay there, but after a while, Belle comes looking for me. “Mom?” She pushes the door open, and walks over to me. “Are you alright?” She’s concerned, worried, scared. “Oh, no. What did they do to you?” Despite her fear, she remains calm.
I shake my head. I don’t want her to know what they did. That’s just one thing that, as a seven-year-old, she doesn’t need to know. “Belle, I need you to run and get your father. He’ll have to help me walk back to our room.”
In a couple minutes, Mathew comes running into the room. “Meagan.” He kneels by the chair, then looks at Belle. “Sweetie, I need you to go make sure that the bed ready for her. Your mother will need to sleep for a few hours.”
When she is gone, he grabs my hand. “Meagan, what did they do to you?” I explain it to him, but then I debate whether or not to tell him about his father. I decide not to, because it will only infuriate him further.
He helps me up, and we make the slow trip to our room. The walk has never felt so long, has never required so much energy. He guides me to the bed, then tucks me under the covers. “I’m going to fix this. I promise.” I try to tell him that it won’t work, but I can’t open my mouth. Instead, I close my eyes and fall into the world of dreams.
Chapter 22

I wake up a few hours later and I hear Mathew talking to Belle. “We probably won’t have your party tonight. You mom is in a lot of pain and she needs to rest. Okay? We’ll do something for your birthday some other time.”
“Mathew. Get in here!” He opens the bedroom door and asks me how I’m doing. “I’m doing great. Good enough to celebrate my daughter’s birthday.”
He shakes his head. “We can do that another time. You need to rest tonight.”
“No. She needs a chance to be a child before she has to become an adult. She’s only seven years old. She can have a birthday party.”
“Exactly! She’s seven years old! She’s had seven whole years to be a child. It’s time for her to understand that it’s not all about her.” I can’t believe that he’s saying this.
“It is all about her, Mathew. It has always been all about her. In a few years, she’ll have to lead a revolution. Since the beginning, our goal has been to prepare her for that. But she needs to be a child first. Just because you only had five years doesn’t mean she can’t have more than that.”
I get out of bed and stand right in front of him. “We are having a birthday party. And that’s final.”
I go out into the main room and crouch down so I’m level with Belle. “You can have your little party tonight. I’m fine now.” She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she looks right into my eyes, and I know that she can see past the lie.
It’s not a lie that I can gather the strength to come to dinner with my daughter on her birthday. But I didn’t tell the truth about being fine. Because I am not, in any way, physically, emotionally, or mentally fine. I am a mess. And she knows it.
Julie and Aron are the first to arrive. Dr. Pender comes shortly after, and we begin. We had invited Max and Sarah, but they chose not to come.
We have Belle’s favorite meal, which Mathew made. It’s mac and cheese, and a meal has never tasted so good. After this morning, I definitely need some food to give me energy.
Belle and Aron go play in the corner after dinner, and we wait before we get out the dessert. Us adults stay at the table and talk about things that are going on in the Academy.
“We’re supposed to be getting a new Warden soon,” says Julie. “I hope they choose someone who gives us a little more freedom.” She looks off to the corner of the room, dreaming. “Wouldn’t it be nice to go outside again?”
Mathew snorts. “I’m sure that’ll happen. But can you imagine how sunburned we’d all be if we got to go outside for a day?” He smiles, and then his face turns serious again. “But if I got one thing that the new Warden would give me, it would be for Meagan to be done with all the torture.”
I shake my head. “The Warden isn’t in charge of that. My father-in-law is.” Mathew winces, and then grabs my hand.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I look down at the table. “It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault but his.”
“Don’t you think that maybe, you should just give them what they want? I’m worried about you. They’re going to kill you. I couldn’t go on if you were dead. I need you.”
I stare at him, incredulous. “No,” I say. “I can’t believe that you would even suggest that.” Honestly, there have been times when I have considered drawing what they want. But I’ve never considered it long enough to say it out loud. “You know how important this is. I have to make sure that they don’t destroy the revolution before it really gets started.” I turn to Julie and Dr. Pender, making it clear to Mathew that the conversation is over.
“So. The new warden,” Dr. Pender says. “We’ve almost made our choice.” For the next Warden, Dr. Pender was placed on the Choosing Committee. “You’re dream of going outside might come true.” All of us suddenly focus as hard as we can on what she is going to say next. “Seven out of the ten guys we have left want to put windows in the building, so that you can see outside of these walls. And if they get windows, there’s a good chance that, eventually, you might get to go outside.”
We all look at each other, trying to imagine what that would be like. I haven’t seen sunlight in seventeen years. I would have forgotten what it looks like, if it weren’t for the Memories. And Belle and Aron? They’ve never known the feeling of sunlight.
We spend the rest of the night talking about what we wish would happen. Everyone left a couple hours later, and Mathew and I clean up that small mess.
“Goodnight, Mommy,” Belle says, and gives me a big hug. “I love you.” She goes and climbs into her bed, and Mathew leads me to our bed.
“Get some sleep,” he says. “I’ll go with you in the morning.