The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

I have a question to ask them.”
In the morning, Mathew walks with me just as he said he would. When we reach the Vipero standing at the door, he addresses him. “I want you guys to have my draw the Memories instead of her. She’s going to be killed if you guys don’t stop torturing her.”
“No, Mathew,” I immediately say. “No. I won’t let you. You can’t do this.” I think about the comment that he made at dinner, and I shiver. He wouldn’t be strong enough, and I know that. “Mathew, Belle needs both of her parents to be able to function. It will be months before I’m able to fully recover, and you would… No. I won’t let you do it.” I turned to the Vipero. “Let me in, and please escort him to his work place.” I march into the room, and for once, the click of the lock sliding into place comforts me. It means that Mathew can’t get in.
Does he really expect me to agree to let him be in here in the mornings after what he said last night?

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. My back is still against the door, and there’s a brief moment of panic as I walk toward the center of the room. I push it aside, though, and sit down in the chair.
But today, I don’t even get the chance to pick up the pencil before I’m paralyzed. My skin begins to peel off, and I can feel the exposed muscled begin to twitch. The twitch only lasts for a moment before acid begins to drip on the flesh, and then the skin is laid back over the burning muscles.
The scientists continue to play with my brain, making me feel a type of pain that I didn’t know existed. I know that he is watching. My father-in-law probably has a smile on his face.
My guess that he is there is confirmed when the pain stops. For several minutes, my body tries to piece itself back together, tries to find pieces that were never separated. And then, in the darkness, I see them.
It’s Collin and his wife. They’re at the breakfast table with their child. She’s a beautiful girl, only a couple years old. Kate’s belly is beginning to extend, showing the early signs of pregnancy.
“Do you have to go, Daddy?” asks the girl. “I want you to stay here with me like you did yesterday.”
Collin nods at her. “I really have to go, sweetie. I will lose my job if I skip two days in a row. I’m sorry. I’ll play with you after dinner tonight. How’s that sound?” The child agrees, then turns her attention to her meal.
Kate grabs Collin’s hand. “Collin, can you believe we’ve been married for almost five years?” He shakes his head. “It’s amazing. I can’t believe everything that’s happened. Do you remember the day we met?”
He snorts. “Do you remember the first few months that we knew each other? I couldn’t stand the sight of you, because of everything that happened before.” He glances at his daughter to make sure that she’s not listening. Then, he smiles at his wife. “But then you helped me get through it, helped me move on from her.”
She stares into his eyes, searching for something. “You still miss her, don’t you?” There’s only a tiny hint of jealousy in her tone, but the rest is concern. “Are you going to be okay today?”
“Of course I still miss her. I think about her all the time, and about my baby. I hate not knowing how they’ve ended up. And it’s been seven years since she was born, if she carried Belle for the full term. Seven years. And she doesn’t even know who I am.”
“Do you still love her?” Kate asks. This time, the only emotion in her voice is pain.
Collin takes a deep breath. “I don’t know if I ever did,” he says. “I was only a teenager when I met her. I only knew her for a couple months. Can you really love someone in that amount of time?” He looks at the clock on the wall. “I have to go, or I’ll be late.” He kisses Kate, and kisses his daughter on the forehead. Then, they’re all gone.
I feel a tear roll down my cheek, but it’s several minutes before I can actually move. When that happens, he comes into the room. I realize that I don’t know his name.
“Wow. I didn’t realize that he would say that. That was live footage from this morning. If I had known that he said that… Well, I still would have shown it to you. Maybe it’ll help you crack.”
I look down at the ground. “Will you promise me something?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything, so I go on with my request. “Don’t let Mathew take my place. He doesn’t realize that it’s really my choice. I need Belle to have at least one parent that can function well. I’ll never be a good mom after all that I’ve been through in this room. She needs to have a good dad. And if her takes my place, he’ll be unable to be a good dad. I can’t let him do that. Not to me, and not to Belle. So please, just keep doing what you’re doing to me and not to anyone else.” I don’t tell him my other reason. I know that that would only make him switch Mathew and I right away.
“Why would I do that for you?” He still has that evil look about him, but he’s also curious.
“Well, you’re my father-in-law. Usually, when your kid gets married, you give them a wedding gift. And I don’t ever remember seeing a gift from you. You owe me.”
“Let me get this straight. As a gift to you, you want me to torture you?”
I laugh, because he’s right. When he says it like that, I realize how ridiculous it sounds. “Well, I’m not saying that you have to torture me. You can stop doing that if you want. But I’d rather you did it to me instead of someone else.”
After a couple minutes, he nods. “I’ll grant your wish. But only because you presented it with, what I understood was, a bit of humor. But also because breaking you will be so much more satisfying than breaking my son, who’s weak. And don’t even deny that that’s one of the reasons that you don’t want him in here.”
I don’t say anything, just wait for him to leave the room. I try to stand, and am successful. My first step, however, sends me to the ground. I crawl to the door, then stand as I exit. I hug the wall the entire way back to our room, and fall several times. I crawl into bed, and don’t wake up until dinner time.

Chapter 23

When I wake up, I realize that as a mother, I have pretty much failed. Mathew has had to take time off work to make Belle lunch, and has rushed back to make dinner. I’m not around at breakfast, and I’m asleep all day.
If I give in to them, I’ll be able to be a better mother. I won’t be tortured I won’t be drained of all energy.

I consider the idea for a moment, and then shake my head. “I can’t believe myself,” I say out loud.
I may not me the best mother, but it’s not my fault. What I’m doing… it’s the right decision. If I tried to explain it to someone, they wouldn’t believe me. But they also wouldn’t know the whole story. In the future, I’ll know for sure that I made the right choice.
I try to clear my head of these thoughts and go out to kitchen. Mathew is serving Belle her dinner. “Hi, Mommy,” she says when she sees me.
“Hi, honey. Did you have fun with Aron today?” She nods, then turns to her food. I don’t say anything else, because I know she usually isn’t a talkative person. I look at Mathew. “Thanks for being her parent,” I say. “Sorry that I haven’t been much help to you lately.”
He waves my apology off. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you’re just running off and having fun. You’re going through a lot right now.”
I snort in reply. “I’ve noticed.” It’s quiet for a moment, and I sit down. “When we were first married, why didn’t you tell me that you and Collin were brothers?” He shrugs. “You told me that you didn’t really talk to him. You said that he was a good guy, but you weren’t friends.
“When I came to the Academy, my brother was my best friend. Why didn’t you and Collin stick together?”
“I was mad. I was mad that I’d been here since I was a little kid, but he got to be out in the world. I was mad that he got to be out in the world. I was mad that he got to go home on visits. He tried to be my friend again. But I’d just been through too much here to be friends with someone who only had to live here part time, who got paid, who stood back and did nothing to stop everything that goes on here.”
“He doesn’t work here anymore, though. He’s married, has a daughter, and another kid on the way. He’s separated himself from the cruelties of the Academy.”
“I figured that he’d get out as soon as he could. He isn’t a bad person. And to willingly stay in a place like this, you’d have to be a bad person. I just wish that I hadn’t been so stubborn. Every day, I regret not getting to know him.”
For the rest of the meal, conversation is nonexistent. We’re each in our own little worlds, thinking about regrets and past loves. The silence is broken by a knock on the door, and I let out a groan. “What now?”
I lay my head on the table while Mathew answers the door. I don’t have the energy to deal with anything right now. I had expected it to be Vipero, but I was wrong. Instead, it’s the Warden who stands in the hall.
“What do you want?” I ask him as he steps past Mathew into the room. “What is so important that you have to bother me tonight about it?”
The Warden looks at the ground. “I’m leaving next week. And I just talked to my wife. They’re still being held. If I don’t get a Memory out of you by the time I leave, they’re going to kill all of them. I’m begging you,” he gets down on his knees and looks up at me, “to please, not let them kill my babies.”
I think about it for a moment. “I’m sorry. But I can’t do that. The revolution is going to come