The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

A couple hours later, I’m laying in the bed, Mathew’s arms around me. He’s still sleeping. Like me, he didn’t sleep much last night. Except, he didn’t sleep because I kept him up with all my thrashing around.
He has a piece of hair in his eyes, and I move it. It’s been a while since he’s gotten his hair cut. Once a month, one of the doctors goes around and cuts everyone’s hair. For the last two months, Mathew has skipped his turn.
I look up at the clock that’s on the wall. It’s 4:32. I get up as fast as I can, and grab a jumpsuit that’s laying on the ground, and run out the door. I don’t know why I’m rushing so much. It’s not like they’ll punish her because I’m a couple minutes late. Right?

But I don’t slow down until I reach her door. I huff and puff for a couple seconds, trying to catch my breath. Finally, I knock on the door. Belle answers, and I’m relieved to see that she hasn’t been hurt.
I’m sorry that I’m late,” I tell her. “Daddy and I fell asleep.”
“It’s okay, Mommy,” she says. I look at Dr. Pender, and she gives me thumbs up so that I know that they day went well.
“Are you going to tell me what happened this morning?”
“Oh. The new Warden got me two days off each week, plus birthdays. And every Monday, I’ll be tested for pregnancy. If I’m pregnant, I don’t have to draw for them.” She think for a moment, and then she smiles a devil’s smile.
“So that’s what you and Mathew have been doing all day.” I blush. Dr. Pender knows that Mathew and I were avoiding pregnancy. But she knows that now, we will be trying for a pregnancy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Three days later, it’s Monday. Mathew is attending classes on window installation this week, and then he’ll get started putting a window in. The first floor to get windows is Floor Six, so I won’t have to wait long to see the sun.
I don’t think about how the Warden got permission for windows so quickly. Before he even officially started, he had already gotten clearance. I know that there must be someone, somewhere, who is in charge of the Warden. So the fact that he got this started quickly amazes me. But I won’t question it, because I have more important things to worry about right now.
Like whether or not I’m pregnant.
Today is my first routine pregnancy test. If I’m lucky, it’ll be my last day in here a little less than a year.
I don’t know what I expect as I walk into the room. But a doctor is there, with a big machine. “Hello, Miss,” he says. “I’ll be here every Monday. Before we begin, do you have any questions for me?” he has a kind face, and he looks young.
“Yeah. I know that technology is a lot more advanced now than it used to be. But still, how can you guys pick up on a pregnancy even when the pregnancy is only a day along?” He looks confused for a minute.
“How do you know that we can do that?”
I sigh. “Several of my pregnancies were discovered the day after.” I don’t go into more detail about my early pregnancies, because I don’t like thinking about the lost children.
“Well, the answer is simple. With people, we can’t tell this early. But Azuli have many things that are different, not just their eye color.” He looks at his machine. “Azuli have different chemicals that let us know if you’re pregnant. There are also a few more factors that tell us.” He looks at his watch. “Let’s get this started. They only allow me to be here for a short amount of time.”
I nod, and step up to where the machine is. It’s different from the machines that they used when I was first transferred to the floor. The doctor draws blood, and my eyes are scanned by the machine. I don’t know how this will tell me if I’m pregnant or not, but I trust the doctor to know what he’s doing.
Then, we wait. He tells me that it will only take about five minutes. A bell rings, and a piece of paper comes out of the machine. The doctor motions toward it. “Go ahead. See what it says.”
I grab it, and close my eyes before I read it. I open my eyes, and see a big “N” printed on it. My whole body suddenly feels heavy. At least another week of all this. “Negative,” I tell him.
He starts to pull the machine towards the door. “That’s a shame. Well, I’ll see you next week then.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next two weeks bring more little slips with a single “N” on each. I lose more and more hope each week.
By Thursday in the second week, they have installed the first window. For the first few hours that it’s finished, there is no room to look out of it. I decide to wait to take my turn, wait until no one is there, so I can have it all to myself.
On Friday morning, I wake up early and go to the window. I am alone.
The window itself is several inches thick, make of a strong acrylic that guarantees that we won’t be able to break it.
Outside is a desert. There is a ravine that covers the entire length of the window and more. On the other side of the ravine, there are hills filled with shrubs and desert plants. All different shades of browns and yellows and greens, and mixtures of the colors. It’s the perfect place for lizards and snakes, rabbits and coyotes.
Down at the base of the hills, there is a rusty panel of a fence, thousands of years old. Only one panel still stands, but a few panels lay on the ground around a circle, where they used to create a corral. But that was a long time ago. It’s amazing that they’re still there at all, through the rain and rust, the wind and wear.
Behind the hills you can see a town. Before the New World, it used to be a small community, known for its tourist attractions. But now, I know that it’s the capital of the country. It’s where all government decisions are made, where government officials live. It’s the training place for Vipero. Looking at it makes me cold.
I stare at the sky, full of dark clouds. For the first time in almost eighteen years, I can see the storm before it will hit us.
I’m there at the window for about twenty minutes before a Vipero comes up mext to me. “Is this what you expected?” he asks me. “After being here all these years, did you expect to be in the middle of this desert wasteland?”
I look at him in the corner of my eye. He is tall, with broad shoulders. His dark hair is kept short. He is handsome, about my age, maybe a year or two older.
“Well,” I say, “I was five years old when I got here. That’s old enough to remember what the landscape looks like.” I focus my gaze on the city. “But I don’t remember the city looking so big and…” I trail off, not able to find the right word.
“Ominous?” he suggests. “Depressing? Oppressive?” He gives a laugh. “Terrifying?” I can’t believe this.

I look over at him, this time turning my body to get a good look at him. There is a sadness in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. It’s not the kind of sadness that you carry after seeing terrible things. It’s the kind that you acquire after doing bad things.
“Are you allowed to say that?”
He shakes his head. “I guess I’m not supposed to. But…” he looks into my eyes for a moment, and then looks out the window again. “I think that sometimes things need to be said, whether you’re allowed to say them or not.”
I nod, in shock at what I’m hearing. “I feel the same way,” I say. For a couple minutes, it’s silent. “How did you end up here?”
“I got into trouble a few years ago. My friends… they were always talking about a revolution, and my dad didn’t like it. He just recently retired from 25 years as a Vipero, so her didn’t like me hanging around with them.” He looks down at his hands. “He said the best thing for me would be to serve the government, so they could teach me the ‘right way to think.’ So that’s what I’ve been doing. Against my will.”
Once again, it’s silent for a while. But he breaks the silence this time. “You’re the one with the kid, right?” I nod, and he laughs. “You have made a huge impression on everyone, little lady.” I raise an eyebrow. “I heard about you even before I got here.”
That part really surprises me. I knew that I was well-known on the sixth floor, but I never thought that people might know who I am outside of the Academy. I didn’t think that Vipero could talk about their jobs to anyone outside.
“We get to go home, you know,” he says. “We aren’t stuck here all the time.” I nod, but don’t comment. “There’s this restaurant that the Vipero all go to when they’re on leave. Three weeks before our training was over, I was a few guys who were in my training class.
“A few of the Vipero stationed here came in, and they were talking about this girl, how she’ll do anything to make sure that the government doesn’t get what they want.” He looks at me again, an amused look on his face. “Then they told us that you had tried to escape a few years ago. How they couldn’t kill you because you were pregnant.”
I’m silent as he continues with his story. He talks about all the things that the Vipero had said about me. “The funny thing is, that they almost talked about you like they admired you. To me, you sounded like a pain in the neck. But they seemed to adore you. And also, Vipero weren’t the only people who were in there. It was strange to me. There were regular citizens, listening to the stories about this teenage girl who spits at generals and tricks the doctors about her baby, and-“
“Wait. What did you say? About the babies and doctors?” I’m suddenly nervous. How do the Vipero know that Belle doesn’t belong to Mathew?
“While we were in there, this guy came in. He looked like he was about my age. Most of the Vipero knew him. I guess he used to work here since he was sixteen or something.
“He heard them talking about you, and he joined in. he talked about how beautiful you were, how he’s never met someone who he