The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

if waiting for me to tell him how different the real version of history is from what he was taught. But I don’t react, so he continues.
“But I know enough to know that life has never been simple. And it never will be.” He looks at his watch again. “I gotta go. But don’t spend your time wishing for something that won’t ever come true. It’s a waste of time and energy.”
He helps me stand up. “Get some rest and keep that baby alive.” He uses his thumb to wipe a tear off my cheek. I didn’t even know that I had been crying. “And don’t cry. Keep your chin up and think about the good things.”
He leaves then, and I decide to make an effort to do as he says. If I think about the good things, it’ll be easier to get through the day.
I walk back to the apartment. Mathew already left for work, so it’s just Belle and I. She says that she wants to go play with Aron. I remember that it’s been a while since I saw Julie, so we both head down to Floor Four.
Like always, Belle runs down the hall as soon as we can see the doorway. I follow her, but not nearly as fast. By the time I get to the doorway, Belle and Aron are already playing with their toys.
Julie stands up and walks over to hug me. “It’s been a long time since you came to see me.” She laughs. “Of course, I haven’t really been up to see you either. Did you get the day off or something?”
“Well, I actually have the next several months off.” She’s confused. “I’m pregnant.” We go through the same routine that women have gone through every time someone has gotten pregnant, from the beginning of time (with a few exceptions, of course). Squeals, hugs, shouts of “congratulations!” and “thanks!” fill the small room.
“And that means that you get time off? So the baby isn’t harmed?” I nod, and she smiles. “Even better.” We hug once again. “How have you been?”
I tell her about the torture, and about keeping the experiments secret from Mathew. And I even tell her about Marc, and about the kinds of stuff that we talk about. I do not, however, tell her about my doubts in the amount of love in Mathew and I’s relationship.
She tells me how she’s been, and how Aron has been reacting to the Azuli that are his age. “I don’t know what it is. When he was almost five, and I tried to get him to play with the other five-year-olds, I figured that it was just because he was only used to having one other person that’s his age. But he’s known these boys and girls for two years now, and he still can’t stand them.”
She looks over at the two of them playing. “It’s not that he’s shy. He just… almost hates them, it seems. I can’t figure out why he acts that way.”
I just shrug. I don’t really know what else to say. Floor Six doesn’t get the five-year-olds. You have to be at least ten before they transfer you, unless it’s a special situation. She really doesn’t have anyone else her age. But thinking about it, I realize that when she sees someone her age on the way to Julie’s or if they’re on the way to see a doctor, she does get almost resentful to them, even in the short amount of time that their paths cross.
We talk until about 10:20, when Julie stands up. “I have to get him up to Dr. Pender.” She shakes her head. “I hate sending him up there. I trust Dr. Pender, but I know that things will eventually get bad. And she’s a scientist. She may not acknowledge it, or even realize it herself, but she has a scientific curiosity that, at some point, will take over.”
As we walk to the elevator, I’m surprised at Julie’s comments. I’d never thought about Dr. Pender’s scientific mindset, only her love for the children. I had always been too busy hating the Academy and trying to protect my loved ones. I had forgotten that one of my loved ones is an employee of the Academy.
I think about this for the next couple days, and I discover that it really bugs me. I still trust Dr. Pender, and I know that she won’t allow anything too disastrous to happen to Belle and Aron. But Julie planted a seed of doubt, and it grows every day. I try to contain it, but it’s getting harder and harder.
I try not to show my worry. If Belle thinks that I’m worried, it will worry her. I don’t want to scare her. And if Mathew finds out that I’m worried about it, he’ll find out about the experiments. And I don’t want that to happen either.
I do talk to Marc about it. His input doesn’t really help much. “I don’t know much about Dr. Pender. But I know a lot about me. And I consider myself to be a pretty decent guy. I have morals and there are things that I would never think of doing to someone. But being in a place like this, you change. You still have morals, but they become less important.”
He frowns. “No, that’s not right. They’re still just as important. But you black out your actions. You start to just shut your brain down, do what they tell you without thinking. That way you don’t have to feel horrible about what you’re doing.” He shakes his head. “You still feel pretty bad, though.”
I think about what this means for Belle and Aron. Will Dr. Pender go into auto-pilot and just do as she’s told, like Marc does?

Marc has only been here for a few weeks, and he’s already noticing these changes within himself. Dr. Pender has been here for years. Has she already trained herself to shut down? I shake my head, trying to get those thoughts out of my head.
“I just wish I could protect her from everything. I wish that I could keep her from knowing everything that goes on in this word. It’s not right to expose a seven-year-old to this type of stuff.”
He nods his head. “At least she knows that she has good parents. My daughter will know that her dad does terrible things. I don’t know if you were ever beaten by a Vipero, but…” He shudders. “I haven’t actually beaten anyone myself. But I’ve watched people be beaten. Little kids, old people, everyone. And I’ve only been here for a few weeks. I wonder every day when I’ll be the one beating a ten-year-old.”
I wonder at why the Vipero have been so violent lately. I remember them being mean and cruel, but someone being beaten was a rare occurrence. I ask him about it. “If anyone mentions freedom or a revolution, then we’re supposed to take action. For the most part, the Academy is becoming lenient.”
He looks out the window and laughs. “I mean, look at this. There haven’t ever been windows, and the Academy is hundreds of years old. But they aren’t taking this revolution lightly.”
I look out the window, towards the capitol of the nation, at the city that has kept so many people prisoners for so many years. “They’re really determined to keep us all under control, aren’t they?” He nods.
“They’ll do anything to keep their power.” Somehow, I know that he isn’t just talking about the Academy.
“But the citizens will do anything to keep their freedom.”
He laughs. “It’ll be a blood bath. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see who wins.”

Chapter 27

Over the next few days, I think about my brother. Each morning that I wake up, I think about the things that he did for others. As the days progress, I think about all that he did for me. When I go to bed, I search for the things that he did for himself, but I always come up empty. As the days pass, it gets harder and harder to breathe.
Finally, it’s Monday. I don’t go talk to marc before going to see Jack. I don’t want to go to jack teary-eyes, and I know that that’s what will happen if I talk about it first. I stay in my bedroom until it’s time. At the last minute, I decide to take Belle with me.
I walk through the familiar door, but he isn’t here yet. I sit against the wall with belle. When the door opens, I stand up. A doctor comes in first, then a Vipero. Behind him is my brother.
“Jack,” I whisper. He has a bruise on the side of his face, and blood runs down from his hair line. He looks at me and his body relaxes. He is not tied or chained, so he immediately opens his arms toward me.
We stand there for several minutes. I will my eyes to remain dry. I need to show him that I can be strong, that his death will not be a complete waste.
His hug is the tightest hug I have ever shared with someone. Normally, Jack’s hugs give me strength. But today, he asks for strength as he gives his life for me and my family.
He steps back from me. “I can’t tell you what the deal is. You’ll find out sometime, hopefully soon. But the deal doesn’t just benefit you. It also benefits your daughter. I just want you to know that I didn’t just do this for you, but also for others. Maybe that will help you get through this.”
A million questions come to mind. Does he know about the Exception?

But I can’t ask him. Not here, with all these people. So instead, I change the subject.
“Would you like to meet her? I brought her with me.” I turn to face my daughter. “Belle, come meet your uncle Jack.” She stands up and approaches him, slowly.
“Hi,”she says, her voice soft. “I’m Belle.” She frowns. “My mommy has been crying a lot, and she keeps saying your name. Why did you make my mommy sad?”
The question catches him off guard. He grabs my hand and squeezes. This time, he is giving me the strength that he knows I will need. “I didn’t want to make her sad.” He lets go of my hand and crouches so that he is looking into her black eyes. “But I had to make a deal with some bad people, so that you will be able to do what you’re supposed to do. And the deal made her sad, because of what will happen to me. Do you understand now?”
She nods. Then, without warning, she wraps her small arms around his neck. “Thank you,” she says.
The doctor clears his throat. “It’s time,” he says. Jack stands and gives me one more quick, tight hug. “I love you, Penny.”
“I