scarred by KLeena Girl (animal farm read txt) 📖

put her hand on his cheek. „Hey, David”, she soothed him, „it’s okay. I’m here.” The stiffened body relaxed a bit, even though his eyes were twitching now. David opened them. After blinking a couple of times to focus, he grumbled, „Serena?” There were traces of panic left on her features. „What’s wrong? What happened?”
Relief filled her inside and she pushed herself up to sit on the mattress. „You tell me. Did you have a nightmare?”
„Why you’re asking?”
„’Cause you were talking. In your sleep.”
His eyes bore through her heart. She had to ask him.
„What are you sorry for? Why do you keep apologizing to me? And what is your fault?”
David’s mouth opened and closed. He was searching for the right words, but any words used to confess the following would never be right, for they were deadly wrong.
„It’s my fault.”
„What is?” Serena’s patience became running on short. „Tell me.”
„Lucas’ death.”
A puzzled expression replaced her impatient one. „What do you mean by that?”
„You weren’t the last one to talk with him. I was.” By now, he was sitting in front of her, his eyes fixed on her hands folded in her lap. „He told me about your…fight. He was very upset and didn’t want to go to his soccer training.” A shallow breath. „I tried to cheer him up. Told him to power off his frustrations.” A heavy gulp. „At his soccer training. So he went off.” The voice cut through her surroundings, as she realized what David had just told her. „Because I’d told him to.”
Sadness, disappointment, anger – Serena didn’t know how to react. The words sank into her mind and she was suddenly faced with a pair of crystal blue eyes. The moonlight entering the room was enough to make them glow. Pale red lips trembled. „How can you…?” The girl began, though she had to start again. „How can you…? HOW CAN YOU BE LIKE THIS!” The scream escaped her throat, while she stood up and jumped from the bed. However, David was quick to follow her as she walked through the room. „Serena, I wanted to tell you…”
„You wanted to tell me? WHEN?” She snapped at him. Rage gripped her completely now. „When I had blamed myself to death? You knew, how I’ve felt, you knew how hard the guilt weighed down on me! It had almost destroyed me!”
„Serena, I can understand you’re angry, but please…”
„No please! For fuck’s sake I SLEPT WITH YOU!” Her yell left him speechless. „Because the fault made me go mad!” She grabbed her jeans and hurried to pull it over. The nightshirt still wearing, she picked up her jacket and slipped on her shoes. David just stood there, dumbfounded and overcharged. „I can’t believe you used me like that.”
„Serena, it was never like that, I promise! It wasn’t my intention to use you. What I feel for you is real!” His plead fell on deaf ears, instead she continued to let out all of her sudden madness.
„I don’t wanna hear it, Newton. No more promises from you.” Serena had already opened the door, flinging into the dark corridor. The young man still followed and switched on the lamp. „Serena, wait please! Don’t jump the gun right now!”
And to his surprise she did stop. And turned to him. „I can’t believe how I could ever trust you. I hate you, David. I FUCKING HATE YOU!” The house’s front door fell into lock with a crashing sound.
„Serena!” His body slackened. He had lost her. Again. Panic spread out in his brain and nerves system, as his eyes remained staring at the cold metallic front door. Not even, as another person entered the corridor, did his state change.
„What the hell has happened?”
Shane’s question stayed unanswered.


* * *

„Serena, hi, this is David. You weren’t at Jenny’s, so I can only guess you returned home. If you’re back already, let me know.”

„Hey, it’s me again. David. It’s been two days and I haven’t heard from you. I know you’re angry and you probably have every right to…but please call me back.”

„Serena, this is getting serious. Jenny is worried about you, as well. I beg you, contact at least one of us, so we can be sure you’re okay. Okay?”

„I’m so sorry, Serena. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I really want to make it up to you. Please call me back.”

„Serena? Are you there? I know you are…okay, I know you don’t want to talk to me, but…look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I am…all I ask from you is one chance to explain…”

„Serena, I can’t stand this anymore…I’m so afraid for you. It’s been nearly a week now…and we still haven't seen or heard a sign of you. Just answer the damn phone, or I’ll-“
„Or you’ll do what?” Her annoyed voice snapped at him, after Serena had picked up her phone. Her answering machine had been overloaded by bunches of messages. She couldn’t stand it anymore, his wailing and weeping on her answering machine. It was pathetic.
„You’re there”, a strangled gasp came back.
„Obviously”, Serena commented. Rolling her eyes, she added in a bitter tone, „What d’you want?”
„I’m so sorry, Serena, I-“
„Stuff it, Newton”, she cut him off sharply, „I said what d’you want?”
„I’ve gotta talk to you.”
„So?”
„I’ll be in your hometown tomorrow by…say 5 pm. Can you come over to the mansion then?”
So he was still in Hamburg and hadn’t taken the flight back to Great Britain together with Shane, the girl on the phone guessed. „If that’s all.” She was about to hang up, when the desperate boy spoke up once more.
„I can take it you’ll be there then?”
„Sure…” She sighed expressively. „Whatever.”


* * *


With trembling hands – because of the madness – she stood in front of the Newton mansion’s front door. Even though, Serena would never say so, heart was beating like crazy and she feared the unexpected on this late afternoon. Oh how much she would like to turn and run away, but there was no going back now. She wouldn’t let herself be intimidated by David. No, she wouldn’t be afraid of this idiot.
„There you are”, David greeted her, as he opened the door. „Come in.”
Suspiciously Serena entered the familiar house. Not even bothering to sit down she walked straight into her favourite room – the living room. Arms crossed over chest, she faced him. „You wanted to talk? Talk.”
David winced at the cold words. He knew his chance to be forgiven was lower than ever. „Serena, I know I should have told you about this earlier, so much earlier…” Struggling with himself, he kept going, „But I couldn’t risk the possibility of losing you. You’re my everything, Serena…I meant what I said in Hamburg…my feelings for you…“ The young man stepped closer to the girl. Tentatively he lay a hand on her shoulder. „Serena…I love you.”
As if she had been shot, Serena jumped back and freed herself from his gentle grip. „What the hell are you saying there?” She shook her head violently. „You can’t love me, you can’t.”
„Serena”, his voice grew soft, „I’ve loved you for so long, without myself even knowing it. But when I came back last year and told you about my disease and stuff, I figured out my true feelings for you. I love you”, he repeated.
She couldn’t stop her mouth from falling open. „That’s ridiculous, David. You. Cannot. Love. Me.”
„And why is that that you’re so sure about it?”
„Because there’s no possibility that we could ever be together.” Serena was shocked by his surprising confession. That had thrown her world upside down instantly. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She wanted to be with Lucas, just like back then! She wanted to be friends with David, just like back then!
„Even if I loved you, David, I can’t see a chance for us”, she exclaimed, „and after all what you've told me in Hamburg, I can’t keep up our friendship.”
„Serena, no!” David shouted and approached her, but it was no use. The girl only backed further away.
„I have to, David”, her voice cracked, „You have no idea how hard it was for me to shoulder all the blame. And how many nights I spent crying and just wanted to die because I had killed Lucas.” Salty drops of liquid already began trailing down her pale cheeks, making her eyes look glassy. „I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t fucking breathe! And it wouldn’t have been like that, if it weren’t for you, David!” She shrieked and stabbed her finger at his chest. „YOU! It’s your fault I lost him! It’s your fault he died! It’s your fucking fault that I can’t be happy!” All agony and pain, hidden behind her walls, were bursting out of her fragile mind. The hot, angry tears were spilling all over her face now. „I meant what I said in Hamburg, too! I hate you, David. I hate you so much.” She leaned in and spit out the words fiercely. „And I NEVER ever want to see you again!”
And before David could stop her, she was gone.


* * *


Serena felt unbelievable cold and it was the middle of June, dammit! With hurrying steps she walked along the street and used her arms to hug herself. Closing her eyes for a brief second, she was instantly reminded of a situation quite similar to this one.
Jenny’s birthday party, four years ago. Four years ago.

Realization hit her hard and Serena came to an abrupt halt. She had gotten to know Lucas and David that night. Her right hand ghosted over her side to feel the faint mark beneath the clothing’s fabric. Everything that was left behind from their time together was this thin line, grazing her smooth skin, almost untouchable. Serena regretted leaving her jacket at home. The shivering wouldn’t stop, though she couldn’t be sure whether it was only because of the coldness or whether it was caused by her difficult emotional state.
She kept on walking and sorrow replaced her anger. What had happened to them? What had broken them apart? Had she been the origin of all problems right from the start?
Filled with doubts and fears, she reached her family’s house. By now, she just wanted to go in and fall right into her bed. Accidentally, her gaze wandered down to see something lying on the doormat. A letter, addressed to her, Serena.

The handwriting was elegant, yet manly, and she didn’t need to look twice to know that it came from David. Despite her argument with him, she kneeled down and picked up the piece of paper. However, she had no intention to open it.
Finally alone her room, she put it onto her bedside locker. No, Serena didn’t want to read it. She didn’t need another bunch of pathetic apologies or any more complicated feelings and confessions. She just wanted to sleep. But rest was difficult to find for her this night. Her thoughts continued racing around in circles, going round and round, never finding a solution. It wasn’t surprising that she didn’t sleep at all. When sunrise began early in the morning, Serena stood up annoyed. Her view fell down onto the letter. Something inside her wanted to know what was written in it, but another voice told her to forget about it. She was in a pretty bad mood right now, so she decided to wait a little. Stowing the paper into her cupboard, it was at least out of her sight.
Shaking her head, as if