scarred by KLeena Girl (animal farm read txt) 📖

fight with David? How can you not hate me after what I've done to you?"
„Oh, sweetheart..." Lucas carefully directed her crying form into his arms. „No matter what has happened, I love you. There is no way I could ever stop loving you. That's why I want you to be happy. Because you have the chance to. Because I don't want to have died for nothing. Because I don't regret anything that I've done from the minute I found you in the kitchen with that knife in your hands." He planted a kiss on her hair. „And I have to make sure you won't feel as bad as at that time, so I can let you live on your own, without having to worry all the time", he sighed and lovingly held her face in his hands. His thumbs traced the remaining of the salty liquid and wiped it away.
„Serena, I'm begging you to give it at least try. I don't expect any miracles. And if you really can't bring yourself to talk to David, then find another way to ease your pain."
Trembling lips replied, „What do you mean?"
Lucas took her hands and squeezed them tightly. „Promise me you'll come clean."
„Lucas. Just tell me how!"
„Promise me", he repeated. Pulling her in, his lips descended into hers and he shared a long kiss full of love with her. Her eyes fell close and she lost herself in her emotions. Pure life rushed through her veins and she couldn't believe how she could have ever traded real love for all these superficial guys.
Her knees felt weak, when she slowly parted from him. „I promise", she breathed and opened her eyes.
She was alone.


* * *


Oh why, just why had Jenny convinced her to come?

Serena wondered and got off the train at the Hamburg Main Airport. So here she was again. Today would have been Lucas' 20th birthday, though she hadn't come to Hamburg because of that. Well, at least not only because of that. Jenny had invited her to celebrate the Jewish New Year's Day with her family, Rosh Hashanah. It was a very traditional holiday, which the Newman's always spend together as a whole family. A lot of relatives were invited as well and Serena wasn't sure, if she fit into the scene of the very religious Newman family. Jenny had talked to her for a while to finally had persuaded her to come.
„Serena! I'm so glad you decided to come."
„All thanks to you Jenny. I couldn't miss the chance to visit you, could I?"
Jenny's look grew anxious. „What had you scared off then? David didn't tell me." Her gaze roomed over her friend's form. „And what has happened to you? You look so tired and skinny!"
Serena smiled weakly. She knew she could trust her friend, but didn't want to burden her with further problems, for she already had enough to deal with at the moment. „I haven't been feeling well lately, but don't worry. I'm okay." It wasn't exactly the whole truth, but at least it was only half a lie.
To her own surprise, Serena didn't regret it. The traditional celebration was a nice change and she liked being around Jenny's family. Robert and Maria had become like second parents to her and even after Lucas' had passed away her relationship to them hadn't lost its solidity.
But there was one thing that dampened the mood. Lucas would have turned 20 today. The family didn't talk about him at all, as they sat around the table, set with dates, black-eyed beans, leek, spinach, gourd and honey. Aunts and uncles were laughing, festive prayers and sayings were spoken and the meal was consumed with joy.
Only one of the Newman's wasn't into celebrating Rosh Hashanah. Jenny sat at the table, her eyes stared unfocused at its top. Worriedly, Serena watched her friend. She understood her grief so well. To lose a lover was hard, but to lose a brother was just as difficult. Serena wished she could comfort her somehow, but now matter what she was saying to Jenny today, Jenny's face would never light up.
It was a twisted and tense situation for both Serena and Jenny. Suddenly full-hearted laughter penetrated the living room and Serena's gaze wandered over to the family who was joking around eagerly. That obviously was enough for Jenny to stand. Shaking, she rose. „How can you be so happy on a day like today? Have you really forgotten about it? It's Lucas' birthday and you don't even care!" The shouting of the girl had the crowd turned silent. The laughter made room for shocked speechlessness. They lowered their heads in shame and didn't answer. Realizing what she had done, Jenny stuttered, „I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...I better go now..." Panicking she rushed out of the room, pulling the door close behind her.
Now Maria stood up as well. „Jenny!"
„I'll go after her", Serena said and saw the concern in Maria's gaze. „Don't worry, I think I know where she is going."


* * *


Serena walked through the main gate of the Ohlsdorf cemetery. The world's second largest cemetery was really no place she liked going to. The lump in her throat hurt and her hand reached up to capture the silver pendant in a tight grip. She had always avoided visiting Lucas' grave as best as she could. Yet, she knew the way through this labyrinth of paths and gravestones, sculptures and trees like she had never been anywhere else than here.
With steady steps she walked through the grounds passing the morgue where she had been confronted with Lucas' dead body. Her heart sank and it began to hurt more, when she noticed that she hadn't been mistaken.
Jenny stood in front of Lucas' grave. Her arms were thrown around her own frame, as if to shield away the pain. Strangled cries left her lips and made her breathing erratic and heavy. Although Serena struggled with her own grief, she knew she had to be there for Jenny now. She approached the crying girl, who was only a few months younger than herself, and pulled her into a close embrace from behind. Jenny wasn't startled or surprised. She leaned against Serena and tried to speak through her tears and sobs. Despite of the cracked voice, Serena made out her sister's words.
„I miss him so much, Serena, I miss him every day! I don't want to be gone! He's my brother after all." After giving her a quick kiss on her hair, Serena lowered her hand and let her cheek rest against Jenny's.
„I know", she said in a soothing way, „I feel with you."
„Do you remember what you told me, when you were here last winter?"
„Yes."
„And you know I told you that I've seen him, too. That I saw Lucas after his death", Jenny now whispered and Serena nodded her head. „I need to tell you that I've seen him again. Only a few days ago."
Serena carefully loosened the embrace and turned the girl to meet her face. „You have?"
„Yes. I think he wanted me to spend today with you."
Serena hugged Jenny again and had a long close look at the fair gravestone. An unclear, blurry figure appeared next to it. Serena didn't flinch or frown because she felt no fear, but rather the very needed reassurance. The image's outlines sharpened and the ghost of Lucas smiled back at her. There was no worry in his features, he looked happy. Serena's eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, but a grateful smile slowly spread over her face. She was aware that this would be his last goodbye. In full consent she closed her eyes.
Jenny's sobs were subsiding and her breathing calming. Serena parted from her and opened her eyes. When she glanced behind Jenny, Lucas wasn't there anymore.
„Are you okay?" She asked his sister.
„Yes. Are you?"
Serena flashed her a genuine smile. „Yes. I am."
It was over. She didn't how, but she had come clean. The memory of Lucas and his tragic end would always remain, but her inner conflict was resolved. She was sure everything would turn out for the better now.
„Let's go home, Jenny."
The two girls left the cemetery wordlessly. After some time, Serena put an arm around the younger girl's shoulder, who didn't mind.
But all of sudden, Serena stopped in her tracks. „Jenny, look! It's David, isn't it?"
She was right. There he was, walking at the other side of the street. This was her chance to clear the fronts between them. Now that her burden had left, she felt ready to forgive him. Joy and happiness flooded her mind.
„David!" She called out to him to get his attention, though he didn't see her. Not wanting to lose this opportunity, she shouted his name again. „David!"
It was no use. He didn't look her way. Without thinking, she started running ahead, while Jenny stayed standing at the pavement.
Finally David turned his head and stopped walking. Noticing this, Serena sped up her run and didn't look at her sides. That's why she didn't see the lorry coming her way -
The vehicle hit her with full force. She had no chance. Her body flew through the air and crashed down onto the asphalt. In a split second Serena had lost her conscious.


* * *


Beeping sounds and busy nurses were all around them. David and Jenny sat in the corridor of the hospital and waited. Jenny's eyes were red from crying and she feared for Serena's life so badly. David was pale. His skin now held the same bright colour as his eyes.
„Why did you have to come back?" The girl broke the silence, her tone was accusing and bitter.
He lifted his head and eyed her. „What do you want to express by that?"
„You see, she was perfectly happy again, after all this time, she was happy. She had found her peace with the past and then you came!"
„You think it's my fault she got hit by that truck?" David asked shocked.
Jenny knew it wasn't fair to blame him, but the worry for her friend made her go crazy. „There's no need for you to be here. She's better off without you anyway." David was about to reply, but the young adults were interrupted by the doctor. They expected the news in suspense.
„It's a miracle that that girl is still alive", the doctor announced and Jenny gasped out in relief. „She must have a really good guardian angel up there. However, the accident did permanent harm to her brain. An important area of her memory has been damaged. She will be okay, though she might not remember some stages of her life anymore. If you excuse me now, I'll contact her parents."
He left the two who were captured by shock and helplessness. They entered the room in the intensive care unit, where Serena's injured body lay. Only an emergency surgery had made it possible for her to live. Now here she was. Her skin was bruised and blue. Her skinny arms and hollow cheeks made her look even more like a corpse. If it wasn't for the hardly noticeable movement of her chest, initiated by the oxygen tube on her face, one could really think she was dead.
„What if...", Jenny finally started to say and had to force herself to end her question, „what if she won't remember us?"
„We have to destroy any evidence there is for her past with us", David answered and reaped an indignant „What?" from Jenny. „You can't be serious, Newton!"
He shook his head. „Just look at her, Jen."