How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Leil Lowndes (nonfiction book recommendations .TXT) 📖

detail about their own lives is more interesting to most people than the most fascinating aspect of yours. That may change as you become more intimate friends, but, for the moment, your Quarry will find you more interesting if you concentrate on him or her.

TECHNIQUE #34:

KEEP THE SPOTLIGHT ON YOUR QUARRY

Think of your conversation with your Quarry as a giant spotlight. Every time it is shining on your Quarry, he or she is engrossed. If the spotlight revolves around to you or is aimed at someone or something else, your Quarry will find the conversation (and, thereforey,ou) less interesting.

Lovers Share Intimate Details

Everyone is the star of a novel calledMy Life .

Everybody feels "I'mspecial" and "EverythingIdo is memorable." Here's the key: People find others who share their opinion irresistible.

I grew up reading Nancy Drew novels. Nancy was the young detective heroine whose life was so exciting. So glamorous. So romantic. Soeverything my teenage life wasn't. Each book in the series began melodramatically: "Nancy, her long hair flowing in the wind, raced across the moors sensing something was awry at Grandmother's house." Wow!

Page 132

In my daydreams, I wrote novels about my life: "Leil, her braces gleaming in the sunshine, bounded into the house smelling that Mother had let a pot boil over on the stove." Well, my turning off the stove was not such a big feat as Nancy Drew's bounding off to solve a crime, but it wasmylife, therefore exciting tome .

Everyone feels the same way. As your Quarry is brushing his teeth in the morning he is faced with momentous decisions like what to have for breakfast, which shoes to wear today, or whether to take time to floss or not.

Husbands, wives, and lovers share their minutiae.

"What do you want for breakfast, honey? You're not going to wearthoseshoes, are you? Did you remember to floss?"

Obviously, when you meet a new Quarry, you can't feign interest in what she had for breakfast or whether he flossed or forgot. But you can create another immediate intimacy. Simply make a point to remember the intimate details of her life.

Clever Hunters cater to their Quarry's craving to be a star through a technique I caltlracking . Just like air traffic controllers track aircraft on their radar screens, clever Hunters track the verbal traffic of their Quarry. If, in early conversation with your Quarry, he mentions he had Rice Krispies for breakfast, allude to it later. If, in chatting, she tells you she wore mismatched shoes to work one day, find a way to let the subject come up again later. It shows she is a memorable star in the galaxy of people you've met. Over time, such trifling pebbles meld to form rocks of intimacy.

As a relationship goes on, wise lovers keep a mental little black book of their Quarry's last concern, last enthusiasm, last conversation. They keep track of where their Quarry went, what their Quarry said, and what he or she was doing since they last spoke. When they talk again, thefirst words out of their mouth, either on the phone or in person, refers to it: "Joe?

Hi! How did your meeting go? Hello, Linda. Did your sister have her baby yet? So, Jim, did you survive that Szechuan restaurant you were going to last time we spoke? Diane, how's your toothache now?"

TECHNIQUE #35:

TRACKING

Like an air traffic controller, track the tiniest details of your Quarry's life. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story.

When you invoke the last major or minor event in anyone's life, it confirms what they've known all along. They're the leading character in that riveting noveMl, y Life. They will love you for recognizing their stardom.

Let your Quarry feel thatminorevents in his or her life aremajor concerns in yours. Lovers Have Private Jokes

Here is another delectable way to milk your Quarry's ego and squeeze out the first drops of love, even before it's suitable to give a full-blown compliment.

Happy, intimate couples share private jokes. They whisper phrases in each other's ears that mean nothing to anyone in the world but themselves.

With no lengthy explanation, playwright Neil Simon can make an entire Broadway audience understand that two performers on stage are either married or longtime lovers. Simon has the performers exchange a few words which make no sense to the audience, then both of them crack up. The audience gets the message: These two people are an item. You can create a similar impression of intimacy with your new Quarry. Simply find a private joke shared by just the two of you.

Here's how to set it up. Whenever your new Quarry is telling a story, either to you or to a group, remember some part of it that he or she obviously delights in.

Then weave a phrase, a little joke, that invokes your Quarry's favorite part.

Page 133

Page 134

Occasionally, I go out with an English chap named Charles. When I first spotted Charles at a party, he was telling a group of friends about his hiking trip in the mountains with several other men. A few hours into their expedition, Charles told us, they came upon a steep mountain covered with loose falling rocks. He and his mates didn't want to scale the dangerous terrain, but of course none of the macho men, including Charles, would admit they were afraid.

Charles happened to have a large thermos of hot tea in his backpack. As the brave hikers stood there gazing up at the peak skeptically like frightened little boys, Charles made a suggestion. In his terribly British accent, he proposed, "Oh, do let's have a cup of tea first." Great idea! Everyone dove for a seat. As they squatted on the rocks gulping tea, they planned an alternate, safer route.

Charles didn't say it in so many words, but the unspoken point of his story was that he, Charles, had saved the day and, possibly, their lives by his line,

"Oh, do let's have a cup of tea first."

Later on in the party, Charles suggested the host turn on the