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any communion, holy or not.”

There’s no salvation for you.

I walked around to face her on the cross and crouched down. She was cryin’ silently.

“Right now . . . you are absolutely forsaken. I wouldn’t even give you the honor of bein’ crucified as much as I’d love to nail you to this thing. You played God with our lives, but you aren’t even close!” I shoved the pieces of the habit deeper until she started to choke. I used my knife one last time and stabbed it through a hand and pulled it out. “These pieces of material allowed you to do all the fucked-up shit you did to us . . . choke on all your lies you evil bitch!”

I sat there watchin’ her slowly die. I don’t even know how long it took, but I tried to slow it down in my mind to enjoy her suffering like she’d enjoyed ours. Eventually, she stopped breathin’ and I felt the weight on my chest finally lighten up. I searched around on the floor for her rosary and jammed it in my pocket. All three crucifixes will have a special spot on my vest. Then I stood and turned to FOCUS.

“Well, brother, was that as good for you as it was for me?” I tried to laugh and push away the tears of my anger and relief as I redressed in my shirt and vest. “If I could, I’d bring her back and do it again.”

FOCUS stood from the tomb and patted me on the back. “That’s gonna be her Hell, man. She’s gonna die over and over.”

My adrenaline was startin’ to slow as we got to the door and turned off the lights.

“Do you really believe that shit, hillbilly? I sure as fuck hope it’s true.”

Before he could say a word, my phone dinged with a text.

You need to get to the clubhouse. We got a really big issue.

20

Crucify the Dead

“What the fuck now? She should be safe!” We practically ran up the stairs and I followed FOCUS through the maze in the walls of Rosethorne until we got to the door. “What about Bish? Isn’t he gonna wonder?”

FOCUS stopped for a second and typed a quick text. “Okay. That’s done. He knows where we’re goin’. If we need him, he’ll be there as fast as his bike and the bullshit traffic will let ‘im.”

We got on the bikes and I was pissed at every motherfucker on the road. There hadn’t even been five fuckin’ minutes for me to enjoy the load that I’d just ripped off my heart, and we were headed into somethin’ else. When we finally got into the City, I thought my head was gonna explode. Everything imaginable was goin’ through my mind. Whatever it was couldn’t be called or texted about, which meant it was nothin’ good.

She’s safe with the guys.

It’s almost over.

I was still remindin’ myself of all the shit that’d been loopin’ in my head on the way over. When we pulled into the big garage attached to the clubhouse and I saw the look on Casket’s face, my heart fell. “What the fuck is goin’ on?”

Casket stepped out and blocked me from goin’ any further. “First, you gotta know we handled it for now. No matter what you choose to do, we got your back on it. You gotta go see your nun first.”

Quickly, I lunged outta the way, cut Casket a hard look, and pointed in his face. “She ain’t a fuckin’ nun no more! Not a bad habit, not Sister Fiona. She’s Fi . . . Gingersnap. Where the fuck is my ol’ lady?”

He didn’t deserve me chewin’ his ass like that, but I was so anti all of that shit and my temper was through the roof already.

“Crucifix . . . brother . . . take a breath, light a smoke, get a shot for Chrissakes. We’ve been handlin’ shit. You need to pull it together before you see her. Just know it ain’t none of our doin’.”

Casket yelled at a prospect to bring me a shot, and the kid showed up with a new handle of Jack and a glass. I cracked the seal on the bottle, guzzled back a mouthful, and lit a smoke. It didn’t make me feel any better.

“Okay, enough with the shit. What the fuck is goin’ on? Where is Snaps?” I tipped the bottle again and looked around for FOCUS. He musta been inside because I didn’t see him. “Take me to her now.”

Did we scare her too much? Did I fuck up right outta the gate?

I followed Casket through the door into the clubhouse and barely noticed anyone around. I only watched his patch as we walked to my room in the back. He stopped at the door and looked to me. “Brother . . . go in quietly . . . she’s a fuckin’ mess right now. Deal with her, and then we’ll talk about the rest.”

When I walked through the door, Fi was curled up in a ball at the far corner of my bed. She was tremblin’ and jumped when she saw me walk in.

“Hey, baby . . . what’s goin’ on?” I sat down softly on the edge and she scooted back as far as she could. She’d never once been afraid of me, and my heart cracked when I saw the look in her eyes. “Everything’s gonna be okay . . . no one’s gonna hurt you. I got you.”

She started to hyperventilate when she tried to speak and I laid my hand out to her. I felt like I was tryin’ to coax a kitten out of a hidin’ place.

“You did this to me . . . that guy . . . the guard . . . why didn’t you just

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