Magus: A Supernatural LitRPG Saga (Apocosmos Book 2) Dimitrios Gkirgkiris (good english books to read .txt) 📖

"Let's walk you, boy," I said and put him on his leash, trying to avoid his quizzed head-tilting as he sniffed the air for her scent.

I wasn't sure if he realized that something wasn't quite right, but he did his business in a matter of minutes and then started tugging at me to return home. He was pulling with the same force he used when New Year's fireworks were being thrown around and he was afraid. This time, however, he wasn't shaking in fear but seemed rather agitated.

I was barely able to take my mind off what had happened, and the only moments my thoughts drifted away from it were when I tried to understand Louie. Rhiannon had adopted him a year ago and no matter how much I didn't like admitting it, he loved her much more than he did me.

Tears ran down my cheeks in streams and landed on his furry oversized ears, making him turn his face up to look at me. I picked him up and hugged him tightly as he panted, tongue out, his head turning around as if searching for something.

With no will to shower or even change clothes, I made some toast with cheese and ham and tried to down it, but I had no appetite either.

To my surprise, even though the melting cheese and warm slice of ham had a strong smell, Louie didn't come begging for a bite. I walked into the hallway of our apartment and found him lying on his belly, facing the entrance door.

Since I wasn't eating it, I thought I'd give him some ham. I took out the thin slice and waved it in front of his face. He stood on his hind short legs and grabbed it, but just as I thought that he was still the same Louie I remembered, he dropped the slice on the floor next to him and sat back down, looking at the door.

"She isn't coming, boy," I whispered, my voice breaking, but he just kept looking forward.

Kneeling over him, I let myself cry but no tears were coming out anymore. My face hurt but my eyes were dry. I kissed the top of his little furry head and sat on the couch in our living room.

I couldn't imagine myself going into the bedroom and sleeping alone. From what I could tell, Louie wasn't going to leave the hallway and climb on the bed like he usually did either. And I wouldn't leave him alone.

I pushed myself up again and found one of Riri's yoga mats before laying it down next to him. I brought his little water and food dishes and put them on the floor next to him along with the pillow he usually napped on.

After throwing a pillow and a thin fleece blanket on the mat, I laid my hand on him. Even when I stroked the back of his ears, he didn't turn sideways to demand a belly rub like he usually did. He was laser-focused on the dark space beneath our door.

"She's gone, boy," I whispered, again and again until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. The exhaustion of the day had taken the best of me.

The next day, I woke up stiff and with a terrible headache. Louie was still looking at the door. My hand was still on him.

The poor guy hadn't moved an inch the whole night. I was beginning to worry about him. Whenever we went away on a weekend and left him with some friends of ours, he wouldn't eat anything on our first day away. And now Rhiannon was gone...

I picked up the ham slice from the night before and put it in his mouth. At first, he turned his face away, but eventually he gave in and gave it a couple of chomps before swallowing it. I continued with some pieces of his daily dry food.

We stayed like that for fifteen minutes before he just began spitting them out again and I left him in peace. Fifteen minutes of my mind unconsciously running through all the things I had to change, and the conscious part of me getting angry at myself for moving forward already.

The days passed and my anger grew steadily. Not only did I unconsciously make lists of things I had to do now, but other people dared to tell me that "life goes on".

How the fuck can it go on after your whole life was swept away like a candle in a hurricane?

I did my best not to lash out at them. I told myself they couldn't understand. How could they?

Weeks went by, and every night I slept with Louie on the yoga mat in front of the door. He would sometimes wag his tail whenever a light shone from the corridor behind our... my door. Or when one of our friends knocked. But he never barked. He never gave us away. Every single one of the people who came to check on me thought we weren't home and left none the wiser.

We didn't want to see them. We didn't want to see anyone. Louie wanted to see Riri and nobody else. I wanted to hide from everyone. I wasn't ready to confess what I had done.

I was weak and I was afraid. Afraid to tell anyone it was my fault that she died. Not just because I'd told her to wait outside and she died, but also because I didn't love her enough to be on time for her.

The only time I mentioned it during her funeral, they all jumped on it immediately, saying I was being foolish for even thinking of it. Some said that everything happened for a reason, others said there was too much chaos in the world and that you can't find reasoning or put blame on anyone for someone's death.

But how could I agree with any of them? What reason could there