His Sanity by Mirah Selim (great book club books .txt) 📖

Author Pov

Catelin after waking up did the first thing was to go and meet Trevor even though she was quite afraid of Lucifer coming to know about her still meeting that man he asked her to not.

She had no idea what to do anymore. The fear she felt last night was beyond her imagination. Aggressive Lucifer has spread his fear in her veins and there was no way she could get rid of this poisonous fear without an antidote.

"Finally you are here wait. What happened?" Trevor said in a worried tone as he saw her swollen eyes and pale face. 

Catelin sighed out rubbing her face with her small palms. Last night she wasn't able to sleep after Lucifer left her. The whole night her eyes were stuck at the door fearing him barging into her room and again giving her new reason to be afraid of him. 

"I couldn't sleep properly." She said in a low tone. Even her voice seemed heavy and tired. Trevor looked at her and then gently placed his palm on her shoulder making her flinch.

She instantly withdrew from his touch stepping back. She had no idea why but Lucifer's voice that threatened her to not go near Trevor echoed in her ears. She didn't want the repeat of what happened to that guy.

"Catelin. Are you ok?" Trevor again said as he was quite shocked at how she withdrew from his touch like it burned her.

"I am sorry I will tell you everything. But right now tell me how is that guy. The cafe one." Trevor sighed out shaking his head.

"Bad. His condition was really bad. And you know surprisingly that man has a fiance. I was so disgusted at how he harassed you even after having a partner. The doctors suggested his fiance and family to take him to another city he even suggested them a hospital where he could get good treatment but." Trevor paused making Catelin anxious.

"But what? " She said gulping down afraid of hearing something more horrifying.

"Doctor said that he can recover but he might lose his memories as the blow to his head was severe." Catelin sighed out in sadness. 

What have you done Lucifer? She thought palming her forehead. Trevor understood her expressions and smiled at her.

"Relax. No one suspected him and I also didn't report him." Catelin frowned at his words.

"Why? Why didn't you report him?" She wanted to ask this question from the time he told her that he's a witness of Lucifer's crime then why he was protecting him?

"Because I know he's not mentally stable. Even if I report him as a psychiatrist I can defend him that he's mentally unstable so there will be no way he could be imprisoned but yeah they would have sent him to a mental hospital but I don't want it. I want to know what his mental illness is. And I know he needs special care that's why."

Catelin finally smiled at him. They both went to the psychiatrist who welcomed them as he was waiting for them. The whole day he concentrated on Lucifer's case and finally understood what that young man is going through.

"So here are the reports. It took time but finally, I concluded. Here." He placed the reports in front of them. Those were the same reports Trevor gave him when he took Lucifer's blood sample.

But even after the reports came Trevor wasn't able to pinpoint what is wrong with Lucifer so he sent the reports to the old man who had more knowledge than him about this.

"Lucifer doesn't have DID or Split Personality disorder." He said crossing his fingers as he stared at the duo who looked at him with full attention.

"He has Factitious Disorder."

Catelin and Trevor's eyes widened in pure shock. "What?" She exclaimed in shock making the old man nodded his head.

"Factitious disorder is a serious mental disorder in which someone deceives others by appearing sick, by purposely getting sick or by self-injury." He said letting out a sigh.

" In Lucifer's matter, he fakes himself having a personality disorder. Anyone who had seen his changing personality can easily suspect that he has DID or Split Personality disorder but in reality, he doesn't have one. Because as you told me Catelin he remembers everything his other personality has done it's obvious he's faking everything from the start." 

Hearing his words Catelin let her back hit the chair as she was in pure disbelief. While Trevor finally started matching the dots and chuckled. Yes, the old man was right. The symptoms were exactly of Factitious Disorder. How can he not see it?

"But he's doing it to hide from something or more like from someone. He fears his normal personality to come out. He thinks that his normal personality might bring something that has already happened in past. So in that fear he had hidden his real personality under masks of those two personalities." 

"Whenever he thinks he needs to be powerful and only violence can solve things he let his aggressive side take control of his body. He does not try to make it balanced instead he lets that fake angry personality of his do what he wants. It's obvious he wants the same thing but he just tries to show it that it wasn't him it was someone else. And when he thinks he can't solve things with the aggression he uses his kid personality to control the situation by making everyone pity him for being abnormal."

The doctor said abnormal with sarcasm. Catelin rubbed her temples still not able to digest what she found.

"But what left me amused was the thing you told me. You said you met the normal version of him right." She nodded her head.

"That's the plus point you have there girl. He lets himself come out in front of you because he trusts you." Catelin's mind suddenly went to the night when she had an argument with Lucifer and he told her that he appears only in front of her because he trusts her.

"Then what should I do? Should I provoke his aggressive side or should I try to ---" Her words got interrupted by the doctor who shook his head.

"No Catelin, never do that. People think that curing the person with Factitious Disorder is only possible by trying to provoke their weaknesses which never does anything except to strengthen the thought in the person that what he's doing or what he's faking is right and that's the only way he can run away from the problem." The psychiatrist said with a calm tone.

"First you need to get to know what is his fear. From what he's running away. Why is he so afraid of letting his normal self come out in front of anyone? And remember Catelin take my words seriously." He said making her nod.

"Do not I repeat do not provoke or try to manipulate aggressive side of his because firstly you wouldn't be able to do so. People with this disorder are cunning. You are his weakness Catelin so don't ever try to use yourself to heal him it will worsen his sanity. The aggressive side of his needs care. That side of his craves care and love from only you. So give it to him as much as you can. I can assure you he wouldn't hurt you because I have seen that he can harm the whole world even himself but not you."

Catelin agreed with his words. Every time Lucifer becomes angry he never physically harmed her and even mentally he did unknowingly as he just wanted to tell her how much harm he can cause to the person who will try to touch her.

"Get to know his fear. His past. You need to know what he's hiding and why he has grown this disorder in him. Only you can save his remaining sanity Catelin. Because without knowing what fear he has we can't do anything to cure him."

Trevor nodded agreeing with the doctor and Catelin also sighed palming her face. Shock after shock she was getting. She couldn't get herself to think of anything right now. Her mind was a mess.

After saying goodbye to the doctor she went to the house. The whole ride she thought about how to find his past? And then one thought appeared in her mind.

Uncle and Aunt. 

They can tell her but will they? She knew when Lucifer just turned 16 there was something that happened in his life. That one incident at first made him sick. He was unconscious for a week and then he started behaving this way.

She entered the house only to find no one. She walked towards his room and found him still asleep. She sighed in relief. Placing her bag and muffler on the side table of the bed she without thinking about anything slid inside the blanket beside him on the bed.

Right now she wanted his warmth to ease her mind. She wanted to hold him close so she could sleep in peace and she knew even though she doesn't want it but still his embrace is the only place where she can sleep without being worried about the problems in her life.

She stared at his face for God knows how long. His beautiful looks were never the reason why she loved him. It was always just him. His warmth. His smile. His presence. Just him. She just loves him without any reason.

She wrapped her arm around his torso and snuggled her face in his neck making him move in his sleep a little as he unconsciously pulled her closer wrapping his large arms around her fragile body completely pulling her against his chest.

She closed her eyes while sniffing his scent as they both went to deep slumber in the peace of each other's arms. 

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First of all like I had said before I do not know about these disorders and psychology. It's all from Google and I have added a little from my imagination. So don't take it seriously.

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Till the next adios.