His Sanity by Mirah Selim (great book club books .txt) 📖

Author Pov

Lucifer almost had a heart attack seeing the view in front of him the moment he opened his eyes. He was beyond shaken seeing his love. The girl he's madly obsessed with hugging him.

Her head was buried in his neck while her tiny arms were securely wrapped around his torso. She was sleeping peacefully in his arms and now he knows why his normal self decided to wake up.

Her warmth gave him undoubtedly a sense of security. He trusts her beyond anything and anyone and seeing how she was glued to him again brought heavy guilt in his chest.

He closed his eyes cursing the aggressive side of his for doing the shits he did to her. He remembered how her eyes were leaking when he scared her. How much she was trembling that time. It made him regretful.

He closed his eyes pulling her waist and making her snuggle more in his neck. He buried his face in her hair sniffing her alluring scent.

He didn't want her to wake up. He wanted his own body to again fall to a deep slumber while being in her embrace. The sense of her warmth against him never failed to make him feel secure.

He knew he was fooling everyone around him but he was helpless. There were those voices in his mind. They taunted him, fought with him, and told him again and again that how without them he can't do anything.

He was helpless. He was mentally chained and couldn't hold himself back from fooling the people around him again and again. He wanted no one to ever know what happened to him years ago. He was afraid of being weak again.

For him, without his aggressive side, he can't protect his love. But only if he knew. Everything was just made up inside his mind. Only if he tries he can control those voices but he just wasn't ready to do so.

After what his aggressive side did to Catelin, he thought she might leave him or worst don't even come closer to him as he was expecting her to be too afraid of him but instead she was here sleeping in his arms so peacefully.

He cursed in his mind when he sensed her tiny frame moving against him. She was waking up and he was dreading her reaction. He was still doubtful that she might accidentally sleep here and might even leave him after waking up.

But his insecurity got defeated by her next action.

Catelin opened her eyes and the first thing her eyes met with was his beautiful face. She pulled her head out of his neck staring at his face. His eyes were closed but his arms were securely and tightly wrapped around her like he was afraid of her leaving him.

She was still angry at him for scaring her and was also scared of his aggressive side. She made a mental note to try to make him be with her in his kid or normal self.

She placed her head on the cushion right in front of his face and stared at his face for God knows how long. Lucifer was surprised to sense her still beside and not moving away.

Suddenly he felt her tiny hand touching his nose before she trailed her fingers to his cheek and caressed it with her soft fingers making him unconsciously snuggle in her hand.

She smiled thinking that he's still asleep. Lucifer was enjoying more than he should. He was shocked more than before seeing how she wasn't getting off the bed but instead being so soft with him.

She suddenly did something unexpected. She pecked his nose making him snap his eyes open even though he didn't want to but her that action left him surprised.

Catelin's lips were still on his nose when her eyes met his. She stared at him with wide and stunned eyes before instantly leaning back.

Lucifer suddenly tilted his lips up in a mischievous smirk before staring at her with looks that made her flush in embarrassment. She looked away and immediately tried to jump off the bed but wasn't successful.

Lucifer was fast enough to push her back on the bed and hovered above her making her press her head deeper against the cushion as he leaned his smirking face down.

"What were you doing little one?" He said making her sigh in relief it was normal Lucifer. But then Catelin noticed something.

There was a glint of aggressive Lucifer in his eyes. He looked like a mixture of cold normal Lucifer and an aggressive short temper Lucifer which clearly showed that the doctor was right. Every personality of his is made up by him and his mind is controlling them.

He leaned even more making his nose brush against hers. Their breathing started mixing up making her stare deeply into his eyes.

"I was checking out how can someone be this ugly?" She said in a playful tone making him surprised. Catelin could see how surprised he looked.

She knew he expected her to be angry with him or even scared of him. But after what the doctor said she knew all this time she was behaving with Lucifer was wrong.

He needed care. He craves affection. She remembered the night he almost begged her to accept him the way he is showing how much he wanted her to love him for what he is instead of putting him in front of different psychiatrists.

And now she will do the same he wanted her to. She will show him the love she has for him. She will show him the care he deserves. She will increase his trust to the extent that he wouldn't feel hesitation in telling her the darkest secret of his life.

Because last night after thinking long time she decided she didn't want his parents to tell her his truth. He should be the one sharing it with her not anyone else.

She wanted to heal him in a way he wouldn't feel the slightest pain. She will rip him away from the insecurity that was holding him back from coming to normal life. Because for her she could simply accept him and live her life with him.

But for how long they can be hidden in dark. For how long he will fool others with his kid personality which is made by him. No, one day he needs to understand his responsibilities as well. And for that normal Lucifer needs to accept that it's him.