The Lexal Affair by DM Arnold (grave mercy TXT) 📖

you're part of the family, now.”

“It seems to me each of you has carefully built a wall between you, and now you're both sitting on your respective sides, sulking and wishing the wall weren't there.”

George looked up at him. “That's a fairly perceptive observation.”

“There is great good in her. From the moment I met her I knew she had a very good sena.” He winced as he realized what he had said.

“A good what?”

“Spirit, inner being... Soul if you would.”

“I never heard it expressed that way... Is that a word from her practice of meditating?”

“Suki's been teaching me to meditate. I've found it very useful, a good way to groom mental discipline -- and a good tool for contemplating the universe.”

“It seems so much mumbo-jumbo to me.”

“You should try it.”

“I've been curious, but I've never had the opportunity to ask. What is the significance of the tattoo on your right arm?”

Nyk lifted the sleeve of his polo shirt and looked at the mark, a dime- sized emblem of a black triangle inside a pentagon. It was Senta's crest, signifying the Tibran line. “I had this done when I married. My wife wears a similar mark.”

“That symbolism has outlived your marriage to her. Once your divorce is final, would you consider having it removed?”

“No. Our marriage was an important event in both our lives. It helped me survive a difficult time, right after my parents were killed.”

Nyk placed a stone and bore off two of George's black ones.

“An excellent move, Nick.” George placed another stone and looked up at Nyk. “Do you work out or engage in sports?”

“No. I've never been particularly physical.”

“You look fit. I'd say it looks like you have some strength in those arms.”

“I've had the benefit of good nutrition. I also do a fair amount of walking -- my office isn't very convenient to the subway.” He resumed contemplating the gridded board.

“May I ask you a personal question?” George asked.

“Certainly.”

“How did you punch through with her?”

“Punch through? Punch through what?”

“Her homosexuality. I've wanted for years to do something like what you've done. How did you do it?”

“I didn't. Suki and I don't love each other as man and woman -- we love each other as soul mates. It's our personas that are in love.”

“Your senas? Is that the word you used?”

Nyk smiled. “Yes. We just happen to live in our own respective bodies.”

“You certainly behave like a normal couple.”

“We've discovered how to use our bodies to express the love our personas have for each other.”

“I love my daughter, Nick. But this is one aspect of her personality I struggle with. For her sake, and for the sake of the baby, I've tried to get past it. I had been hoping her relationship with you might have changed her.”

“She has changed. It took her until fairly recently not to feel crushing guilt over her own nature -- that she's not the embodiment of something evil.”

“Her nature? You believe this behavior is part of her nature, like the color of her hair?”

“I don't desire to change her, George -- she'd no longer be Suki. I accept this as part of her makeup.”

“I disagree with you on that account. I believe we each have a choice, and we can choose to be strong and do the right thing, or we can choose to indulge our whims. I choose not to embezzle funds from my firm, although on a whim, I might be tempted to do so.”

Nyk placed a stone on a vacant corner of the board. George retaliated with a one on an adjacent point. He glanced up and saw George was still eyeing him. “What about you, Nick?”

“What about me?”

“Are you gay?”

“Exactly what is gay?”

“You know full well what gay means.”

“I'm me,” Nyk replied. “I'm myself who's in love with the person who lives inside your daughter's body.”

“You didn't answer my question.”

Nyk looked into his eyes. “George, I can appreciate the beauty and the sexuality of a man's body as well as a woman's. Does that make me gay?”

“It ... it depends on ... on what you practice, I suppose.”

“I'm not the sort to kiss and tell. So long as it's consensual, and so long as nobody's being hurt, I don't think what two adults do while they're by themselves is anyone else's business.”

“With that attitude, you two certainly are meant for each other.”

Nyk placed another stone. “Do you think I'm gay?” he asked George.

“I feared you might be. Not that it makes a big difference. You've demonstrated a care for her beyond what anyone else has ever offered.”

“What made you think I might be gay?”

“There's a... I don't know how to express it. There's a softness to you I haven't experienced before -- you're not like any man I've known. You have some physical characteristics, a ... smoothness... Sukiko's been attracted to some mannish women, I thought perhaps she responds to an effeminate... That a gay woman might be attracted to a gay... I'm sorry, Nick. You're so good for her, and here I am, looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

“It's all right -- please don't feel you've insulted my manhood, George. I'm comfortable with who I am. I know I'm a freak of nature.”

“How so?”

“I'm a victim of a congenital disorder known as atypical female syndrome. Genetically, I'm a woman, but physically, I'm a man. It may explain some of those characteristics.”

“I've never heard of it.”

“It's quite rare. It's the reason I'm sterile. That's the one thing about myself I'd change if I could. I long to know I could father her child ... I do have a man's features, George. I am male, and everything works as it should, except my seed can't make a woman pregnant.” Nyk placed another stone on the board. “What about you, George? Are you gay?”

Nyk could see darkness spread across George's brow. “No! I've never had such an experience.” George glared at him. “I have always done what's right. I've never permitted myself to be tempted from the correct path. This pertains to every aspect of my life -- my career, my marriage and my family.”

“I'm sorry, George. I had no intention of upsetting you.”

George eyed him for a long moment. “You're forgiven, Nick.” He placed another stone. “Turnabout's fair play, I suppose.”

Nyk detected an increase in the aggressiveness of George's strategy. He looked at the clock, “It's getting late. Shall we tally?”

“Fine, Nick.” They scored the board and agreed George had a slight lead. “Thanks for a challenging game.”

“My pleasure,” Nyk replied and extended his hand. George hesitated, then grasped it. Nyk looked into his eyes. “I love Suki. I love all of you. I never had much of a relationship with my own father, and both my parents have been dead for nearly eight years. Yasuko and you are my mom and dad, now.” He opened his arms.

George patted his back, “Yes, Nick, we're happy to have you as a member of our family. Good night.”

Nyk sat at the kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee. “Well, how do you like being a bachelor again?” Suki's mother asked.

“I don't like it very well. Suki's been gone two days and I can't wait 'til she's back.” Yasuko pulled a chair next to his and patted his hand. “Use the next few weeks to catch up on your sleep, Yasuko. The bedroom above yours should be quiet.”

“The sound of your lovemaking is music to my ears, Nick. I know she's here, I know she's safe, and I know she's happy. It's become a lullaby for me. I'll admit I was skeptical when I first learned she had invited you to move in. You've been so good for her -- I've never seen her so happy. I do wish she hadn't gone to Turkey, though. I worry for her... as you know.”

“She'll be fine. She's not made of glass. Suki has a strong respect for the cultures of others. I'm sure the Turks will love her -- and Vlad speaks some of the language. It's out of our control, anyway. This is something she needed to do. I imagine there'll be more trips to the Middle East in the upcoming years. Maybe we'll all have the chance to accompany her. Wouldn't that be fascinating?”

“Fascinating, assuming we survive it.”

Yasuko refilled his cup. “Thanks,” he said. “Yasuko, is George gay?”

She looked up at him, “Why would you ask such a question?”

“You can be frank with me. This is between us. I won't breathe a word to anyone, not even Suki.”

“Why would you ask?” she demanded.

“Last night while we were playing go, George asked if I were gay, so I asked him if he was.”

“You didn't!”

“Yes, and his reaction was stronger than I anticipated -- it frightened me a bit. I started thinking perhaps George's obsession with Suki's lesbianism might be because...”

“Because it reflects something in his own personality? Something that makes him uncomfortable?” Yasuko sat, looked into Nyk's eyes and shook her head. “You are treading on dangerous ground, Nick. I recommend you drop it.”

“Whether he is or isn't has no bearing on how I feel toward him. It could explain his distress with Suki's nature, though.”

“George has been a good and faithful husband.”

“I don't want him to fear being open with me. I know I'm different -- that I'm not like other men on this planet.”

“We're all unique, Nick. It's what makes this world such an interesting place.”

“I couldn't have said it better myself.”

“Please -- don't pursue this. George probably regrets bringing the subject up in the first place.”

“Consider the topic closed. I love him, Yasuko. I love all of you -- and I'm happier than I've been in years, feeling part of a family again.” He rinsed his cup and placed it in the kitchen sink. “Well, I'm off to my grind. I'll see you later.” He headed for the door.

“Wait, Nick.” He turned toward her. “I wanted to say... George and I love you, too. You really are a son to us. If anything should happen to Sukiko, I hope...”

Nyk held her and stroked a tear off her face, “I'll never let any of you out of my life.” He kissed her forehead. “I'll see you for dinner.”

Nyk flipped open his laptop computer and powered it up. In his email was a message from Illya Kronta, requesting a call. He opened a vidphone window and entered Kronta's locator code.

“Nykkyo, we're still waiting to hold that interview with Andra.”

“She's still on Lexal.”

“We could do it via vidphone.”

“I haven't spoken to her. Illya, when you have three parties each on different worlds with different day lengths, it can be hard to mesh.”

“Nyk -- I get the distinct impression you're less than eager to help us arrange an interview.”

“I've been told this Lexal affair falls outside my domain of responsibility.”

“That sounds like Seymor. Listen, Nyk -- perhaps I can appeal to your sense of duty as a Floran citizen. I feel I should fill you in on what we now know. The arms shipments Zander engineered no doubt went to Lexal, but the trail ends there. We have more on Rud Vadima -- he was known to have traveled to Earth with Zander for paramilitary training. This gives us links between all the players.”

“Who are?”

“Zander, Andra, Vadima, Janna and Wygann. We know of at least one meeting between Vadima and Zander that Andra attended.”

“That's not surprising -- Zander kept her on a short tether. He even smuggled her to Earth.”

“Is that so? That ties her even tighter into it.”

“I think not, Illya. Think about what it must've been like for her -- stuck on an alien world, not knowing the language or customs. She was an unwitting pawn.”

“Don't underestimate ax'amfin witches, Nyk. They're trained just for such intrigue. If she were on Earth for weapons and tactics training...”

“Illya, I know and trust Andra. She tells me she knew nothing of Zander's doings and I believe her.”

“I'd really like to get a dose of truth drug into her to know for sure.”

“You've developed this theory and you're attempting to make the facts fit,” Nyk replied. “Take the Vadima link -- according to Wygann's own statement, Vadima left his administration over two years ago and his whereabouts are unknown.”

“We have no way to verify Wygann's assertion. For that matter, we can't corroborate anything he says. He claims his colony is open, yet he refuses to permit High Legislature officials to inspect his labs.”

“That's at least partly understandable, given the mutual distrust between Wygann and the current HL.”

“He also claims no weapons have been shipped to Lexal, yet we know the shipments went there, and we know weapons do exist on the colony.”

“I spoke to Princess Janna the other day.”

“YOU spoke to Janna? She hasn't answered any of our inquiries.”

“She gave me her locator