Kerplunk - It's Over!! by A.W., H.R. and Our Girlfriends (i can read with my eyes shut txt) 📖

willing to agree to regarding the children will save you a ton of time, anguish and legal fees!”
– Candace, 36
“Drive Carefully and find an excellent mechanic right away, hubby isn’t there to pick you up when you break down.”
– Deborah, 53

“If your gut says something is amiss…find out. Investigate everything about your husband, the man he is when he is away from you, his online personality, who he is at work, and on business trips. Read his emails, letters, phone records, and credit card bills. He is your husband. An honest partner has nothing to hide.” – Marsha, 51
“If you catch him in lies and shady behavior, you have the choice to give him the chance to reform or to leave. Please understand that it takes 9 – 12 months to change patterns in behavior and habits. He cannot do it in 5 – 10 days! Read the statistics on women who take the man back, you will see that, more often than not, it does not work! I took him back again and again and believed that he would change. Well, he did not change, things got worse and I was just the fool who loved him.”
– Ella, 52
“Hire an attorney immediately. Borrow money or do whatever you have to in order to fund it.”
– Chelsea, 42
“Be there for your children; no matter what. Don’t alienate your children from their father. Don’t say anything bad about your Ex in front of them. Don’t try to use your kids to get back at him. It will backfire on you. Your children will learn the truth on their own. You want them to respect themselves and respect women. Don’t give them reasons to question your motive. Your children’s well being is top priority; and that means to take care of yourself and love yourself.” – Delynn, 37

Listen to your gut. Plug into your intuition!
Call them animal instincts or a sixth sense, but you know exactly what we’re talking about. You have had that feeling that something was just not right. That inkling that you knew how something was going to play out but you didn’t know exactly HOW you could know it. Girlfriend, trust your gut. As Malcom Gladwell says in Blink, “The power of thinking without thinking. In the first two seconds of looking – in a single glance – they were able to understand more …than the team… was able to understand after fourteen months.” His book is full of countless examples of trusting your gut and what you pick up in those first two seconds before your mind starts processing and rationalizing and creating a story that may not be correct. We need you to learn to listen to your intuition, your gut, your true self, and it may save your life!
Here are a few examples -
"I was trying to eat dinner and I kept getting the feeling that I needed to close the garage door. I ignored the feeling. The garage door was always closed, right? Surely I had closed it when I came home. Well, in fact I hadn’t. Five minutes later my Ex burst into the house through the garage and assaulted me. Lesson learned.”
– Derinda, 27
"My intuition kept saying look in the trunk of his car. Go into the garage and look in the trunk. Well, I finally did and it was full of stolen high-end sporting goods, price tags hanging on every item. It turned out he was stealing from his employer and selling the goods on eBay."
– Jamie, 43
"I knew my husband was up to something and he kept telling me to prove it. Prove it! My gut gave me a huge nudge and I knew I had to install spy software for our computer. It opened up his secret world of lying, cheating and stealing. It was awful but at least I knew the truth."
– Megan, 35
"After we separated, I had an awful nagging feeling that my soon to be Ex husband was spying on me. I'd be home at night alone and would get this nagging feeling that he was creeping around outside and looking in the windows. Then the next day, I saw his footprints in the snow and noticed that in the front yard, the footprints were along the tree line so that they were semi-hidden. However, in the backyard and by the side of the house they were plainly visible. It was clear that someone (my Ex) was looking in my windows! I couldn't prove that it was him, so the police ignored my request for help. By the way, I had a Protective Order against him at the time, but it did little good. Then my neighbor caught him parked in front of the house. Still that wasn't enough cause because the police said I needed to have a photo of it. Finally I caught him, called 911 and they took him to jail–again."
– Donnette, 47

“There is nothing that wastes the body like worry,
and one who has any faith in God should be
ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Bringing your new life into focus: You can do it!
Wow! That was some awesome advice from women who have walked through the fire and lived to tell! You can do it, too. We have faith in you! It’s time to take steps to take care of you–both mentally and physically– so that you come through this thing called divorce like the Phoenix rising from the ashes! It’s time for you to soar!

Think Positively!
Our girlfriends have some amazing affirmations to share with you! Write this on a piece of paper and tape it to your refrigerator, your calendar, your bathroom mirror! Come on! Get happy!
“There is life after divorce. There is love after divorce. There is life after divorce. There is love after divorce.” – Bonnie, 30 (We love this one! Repeat as often as necessary!)
“You are worthy of being loved.” – Leahanne, 40
“You are a smart and attractive person no matter what your age.” – Gail, 61
“Believe in yourself.” – Erika, 35
“Trust Yourself.” – Suzanne, 41
“Being alone is not nearly as bad as being made to feel worthless!” – Cheryl, 36
“Give up the need for approval!! Do not seek approval outside yourself.”
– Sharyn, 53
Do NOT blame yourself for actions and outcomes that you cannot control. We cannot control what others do, be can only control how we respond. You make your decisions. He makes his. Move forward.
“It will be over, the end will come. Keep going.” – Bridget, 26
“Every day you have a choice of being grateful for what you have or being mournful for what you’ve lost. How you feel is entirely up to you.” – Donna, 56
“There is never going to be a “win” for either of you in any argument with your spouse. There will never be meeting of the minds, or even any productive “discussions” about emotionally charged issues involved in separation/ divorce situations. Resist the temptation to fight until you make yourself heard. It’s futile.” – Maria, 44
“Don’t expect it to be easy – it’s not. Expect the worst, pray for the best, make your plan, put your head down and go until you reach the end. Someone once told me “Going through a divorce is like being in a car wreck every day for 2 years.” That’s pretty accurate, but I think they neglected to include that you may be wearing an emotional neck brace for another two! It takes time.” – Meg, 42
“I am the one who chose my husband. I take responsibility for myself and for my mistakes. I am very selective now, not in a paranoid way, I just pay close attention to peoples morals and values and integrity. Do they mean what they say and say what they mean? I look at that. So don't worry, follow these simple guidelines and you will never make the same mistake again.” –Naomi, 48

Do not be afraid.
We know you have every right to be afraid, but we are here to tell you that you can be strong. You can defeat your bully. You can turn a deaf ear to your mother-in-laws’ nasty comments. You can take control of this situation and make a wonderful new life for you…by your design.
“God does not give you more than you can handle.” – Kerry, 32
“Reach out to your family and friends. The feeling of failure is paralyzing and lonely.” – Debra, 42
“You CAN make it on your own after a long marriage.” – Brynn, 59
“I know it’s cliché, but that which does not kill us makes us stronger. I embrace the pain now because it helped make me who I am today and I wouldn’t take anything for the life I am blessed with now.” – Charlotte, 45
“Believe, believe, believe that it is the right thing for you, for him, and for your children. Life is too short to be married to someone who does nothing but hurt you.” – Connie, 57
But don’t be a sitting duck either…Protect Yourself.
Buy some pepper spray for your car, your home, to hang on your key chain, and keep some by your bed. Wasp and hornet spray, we just learned, will spray in a straight line for up to 30-feet and is debilitating if you aim it into your attacker’s eyes.

Give yourself some TLC.
Women have a difficult time processing the concept that they deserve to be happy. Many feel that deserving means being self-centered and that goes against the very fiber of a woman’s nature. No one can make you happy but you. You cannot truly make anyone else happy. You can only assist them in finding their own personal happiness. Therefore, darlings, you deserve to allow yourself to be happy. Part of finding your much deserved happiness is by taking care of you and making sure you get lots of personal tender loving care.
There will be days when the separation and divorce will try to consume you. You will feel beaten-down, exhausted, worthless, and confused. On days like these that are especially trying, you must remember to take care of yourself. The best way is to get physical. Take a walk, swim, do yoga, mow the grass! Get those endorphins flowing and you will find you stay on center a bit more easily.
Sometimes you will need to just slow down…and you need to treat your body and mind to that luxury as well! Meditate, take a long hot bath, nap in the chair on your front porch. Slow down so that you can think and recharge that super battery that drives you to make it through one more day.
Quiet time is good, but don’t (we mean it, don’t!) settle into a pattern of always being alone. There is safety and sanity in groups of happy people! Consider taking a kick boxing class, a cooking class, go to a shooting range–whatever makes you smile. Just be sure to stay plugged into your Personal Fan Club and get out of the house from time to time.
Warning, we know the medicinal qualities of a nice merlot after a nasty day in mediation. Do not seek amnesia in a bottle that will only make tomorrow not so pleasant when you have to face the day with another bout of the Wine Flue. Don’t drown your tears