Why We Flop In Love by Santosh Jha (korean ebook reader TXT) 📖

she shall have to unlearn her ‘prejudices’ before she opts to have her own love life. This preparation and ultimate readiness is crucial for success in love. In love, unlearning is always a better virtue than learning.

There are two ways of arriving at a blank or value-neutral mind. One is you are born with. This is good but not desirable as it is animalistic and does not have a sense of distinction between different other levels of consciousness. Its sense of righteousness is very intuitive, confined to very restrictive instinctive definition of survival.

The other is a mind, which has been made blank by shedding, unlearning and unwinding the mind off all unconsciously acquired cultural elements of the consciousness and this is desirable as this mind has reached this stage after experiencing all shades of consciousness and consciously choosing to have a blank one, which is truly objective.

There is a dualism of subjective and objective consciousnesses that need to be understood through a metaphor, which has brilliant reference in religion-spiritualism and science also accepts it as the prescribed way. There is a metaphor of a bee flying and after seeing a flower landing on it and then sucking the nectar of the flower. This metaphor is also used for love.

In subjective consciousness, the lover would see himself as the bee and the flower as his love attraction. The act of nectar sucking is deemed as love’s object or the process of love sharing. The raw objectivity of a newborn would also liken it with bee and sucking as love. However, in this objectivity, the subject, that is bee, has different level of innocence and conscious involvement. In a newborn’s love, the prime thing is sucking and the bee, the subject is insignificant as the level of consciousness is missing. In a youth’s love, the bee, the subject is of prime importance and focus as the evolved and cultured mind has a subjective and egoistic consciousness, which is un-evolved in a newborn.

The pure and exalted objectivity of a higher consciousness sees it completely differently and has the edge. It sees bees and flower both as insignificant. It does not even consider them as subject. It considers the ‘fragrance and sweetness’ of nectar and the intrinsically ‘symbiotic’ process involved between bee and flower attracting them towards each other as the ‘real subjects’. They truly are the subjects as they are energizing the mechanism and both bee and flower are just non-egoistic and non-dualistic objects involved in this beautiful process called love, which satisfies both bee and flower needs.

Love is like the above metaphor. The bee and flower both are driven and guided by their basic instincts for which they are wired – the wellness homeostasis for survival and excellence. The objective consciousness is coded in their being. The bee needs flower for survival as it provides him with vital nectar. The flower equally needs the bee as the bee makes the process of pollination complete. Both love each other and the love intrinsically happens; it is spontaneous and innate. Man-woman love is also innate and spontaneous.

The humans however, have similarity only till here. They differ after that. The man loves the woman and woman loves the man. It is coded in their instinctive and raw objective consciousness but when love happens in grownups, it usually happens in subjective and dualistic consciousness, where the cultured mind and subjective being of lover and beloved become far more primary and usually, focus shifts from love to the dualisms of the consciousnesses of the two subjects involved. As it happens, then, love is either not existing or love becomes just the façade for the instinctive act of hardcore animalistic survival needs.

For true and exalted love to happen, it must follow the route of a non-dualistic and pure objective consciousness. In such a state of higher consciousness, both lover and beloved shed and dissolve their dualistic and cultured mind and finally accept themselves just as unnecessary burden of being objects of love. And then, the real subject of love – the fragrance, rainbow, song, dance and true magic and marvel of love falls in the linearity of a symmetrical and symbiotic sub-consciousness where cultured consciousnesses of egoistic selves of the two ‘objects’ of love dissolve into one singular and objective higher consciousness.

There is a parallel of love in music. When the music of highest order plays, it is like a beloved. You listen to it and turn into a lover. As you turn a lover, you stop listening to the music, you start experiencing it, you start imbibing it. Gradually, as you shed your dualistic mind, you forget that you are the ‘experiencer’. You turn into the ‘experience’ itself. Your non-dualistic consciousness creates a symmetrical linearity with the music and you finally become the music itself. When true love arrives; egos melt and love flows in all dimensions.

This was the metaphor for man-woman love but, love in its widest and most magnanimous avatar and manifestations follows the same process. Not only love, all basic emotions of humanity need to follow the same process of the cyclic journey from non-dualism to dualism and finally reaching back to non-dualism but in a pure and exalted avatar where subjects are transformed and metamorphosed and the core process takes over.

In contemporary world, love is the biggest casualty not because anything intrinsic has changed between man and woman. The big change is however in the subjects of love. Both man and woman have become far more dualistic in consciousness as their cultured mind does not allow them to shed their subjective egoistic consciousness.

That is why, even when love happens, the two refuse to shed their culturally segregated and conflicting consciousness as ‘subjects’ of love. Love takes a back seat as ‘subjects’ become the focus of love and love making. Finally, love dissipates and bodies of subjects become the theatre of something taken as love but it is just a mechanism with little or no essence of the brilliantly beautiful emotion of love.

This is so open and available for everyone to experience and experiment. For true love to happen and stay, the two ‘subjects’ have to ‘unlearn’ and shed the weights of their subjective consciousness. Rather, they have to cease to be subjects. In contemporary world, love does not stay as two subjects in love not only do not shed their subject tags rather play ingenious games of mind for one-upmanship of subjective superiority. Love evaporates the same moment.

Love happens to be more a casualty in the hands of women today as they have found a new ‘subject’ in their newly arrived subjective and dualistic consciousness. As their insecurity and sense of unsettled wellness makes their ‘subject’ more dominant and given to the cultural and mind game of one-upmanship, the other subject adds up and then love becomes a battleground. The divinity in love is lost. There is definitively no blame in it. It is just a matter of practical realism. This needs to be understood.

We all live in a very complex and competing world. Our cultures and ambient socio-cultural milieus have become intricately multidimensional. In such a milieu, an average person’s wellness is always in perpetuity of intangible and tangible threat perceptions. Confusion and conflict for modern humanity is something as ambient as polluted air.

In such circumstances, the wider homeostasis or poise of an average person is always disturbed – physiologically, emotionally, psychologically as well as bio-sociologically. It is our innate mechanism that when our homeostasis or overall poise is missing, we shall love more and wish to adopt and accommodate more ideas and people within our fold to add assurances to a ‘self-image’ facing threats to poise. However, in such a state of disturbed homeostasis, love shall always be conflicted and confused. This cyclic chaos adds to our overall disturbed poise and very unconsciously, loads of psychosis creeps in.

Women in contemporary societies and cultures are in for a great role-metamorphosis. Their self-image is undergoing a beautiful but precarious change. They are struggling far more than men to be at peace with their ‘self-image’ and widely unsettled larger homeostasis. It is only natural that when your homeostasis is unsettled, you shall have a psychotic perception of wellness and survival needs. That is why, we all can see and experience ourselves that women of all ages in contemporary modern societies want more love and wider expressions of this love for them. Moreover, as this ‘more love’ need is usually a larger expression of their more unsettled poise and an larger than real ‘survival and wellness’ needs, they stand more conflicted and contradicted in love and intimacy.

The tragedy is; men too are in for a role-transformation but better placed in the society and culture because of their age-old positioning. They remain largely true to their archetypal consciousness and approach women in same age-old ways. They do not accept and appreciate the metamorphosed consciousnesses of modern women and their transitional conflicts and psychosis.

Rather, men mostly react with their own inflated egos and indulge in the artistry of one-up-manship in the game of love. The two ‘subjects’ of love then enter the divine domain of love not as two people but as two warriors. Love becomes a battleground!

We shall not talk here about how effectively we can do the process of ‘unlearning’ and how we can reach to the stage of ‘higher consciousness’ as we have talked about in the ebook titled ‘Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes’.

**

Love Wisdom – 4

One, who loves you most, may turn out to be the one hating you most. Or the vice-versa. The subject remaining the ‘same’, the ‘change’ is in the object, which was the ephemeral medium of the energy of love. Let love be the energy between two subjects; not objects.

**

The Higher Consciousness of Love

The very cardinal and critical idea of a higher consciousness, which is non-dualistic and in complete awareness and control of all dualistic layers of consciousnesses as well as societal milieus, is the key to success in love. The higher consciousness is the ‘readiness’, in the part of both the lover as well as the beloved, which is an ‘indispensable requisite’ for entering the pure and pious domain of love.

We need to talk in detail about it to ensure, we all are huge successes in love. Successful individual loves are sure and certain guarantee of a societal culture where wellness is in perfect and profound poise. This has a cyclic effect – individual wellness in collectivity ensures societal wellness and which in turn engenders a conducive milieu for successes of individual loves.

The first readiness has to start from self. We have first right for ourselves then we also must have first duties for us. We need to ready ourselves for love first. We need to understand the mysticism, magic and marvel of ‘self’ and our ‘consciousness’ first. It shall makes us understand the mysticism, magic and marvel of love and shall makes us successful in love.

We are what we are but we all have a common mechanism of ‘self’. This self has the elements of mysticism, magic and marvel. The ‘self’ has the innate mechanism to be in a state of constant flux, playing to the multidimensionality of life and living dualisms. We all need to evolve and prepare the ‘self’ to rise above these dualisms and finally land in the higher consciousness of a non-dualistic personality positioning. Then only, we should be ready for receiving love.

Always remember, emotions are the language and communication of our mechanism, which is essentially neurochemical and neuroelectrical. The mysticism emanates out of this language, which our mind speaks to our body but we fail to decipher. The emotions, we receive and express are the ‘crucial intangible affectors’ of our mind consciousness. Emotions are our best friends but if handled carelessly, emotions can be our worst enemies. It happens when we do not have mastery over a language we use for communication. That is why, we all need to be deft