Why We Flop In Love by Santosh Jha (korean ebook reader TXT) 📖

for in selection of any relationship. When a man is in love, in true sense of non-dualism, he ceases to be a man itself! So does women! The gender logic melts in love and absolute intimacy. Experience it yourself!

When you are in true love and absolute intimacy, you do not see inside-out, rather start seeing outside-in! You and your ‘self’ become secondary and primary thing become she and ‘herself’. This is similar with women.

To explain non-dualistic love in terms of mechanism; it has now been established that when you love somebody truly, your consciousness shifts to a new plane. Usually, in both men and women, it is the top part of brain, the cortex area, which does most of thought and decision-making processing. However, it has now been proved that when you love, your cortex part of the brain stops functioning. The lower brains, the thalamus areas take over the consciousness and this part is purely and singularly instinctive and non-dualistic.

When they say, ‘love is blind’, the actual meaning is, ‘love makes subjective logic and thinking shut down’. The fact is; the cortex part of the brain is largely the ‘cultural mind’ and the source of all dualism in human consciousness. As love lands you in pure and exalted instinct, you start to see things in singularity and non-dualism. This your mechanism facilitates for you.

The mechanism has been designed over thousands of years for such facilitation. For example, it is known to all that a child can learn so many things faster and better than grownups. The reason is in mechanism. It is essential for the survival of all newborns, especially of a human newborn to learn fast so that the kid is quickly adjusted to his environment. This ensures higher chances for survival and later excellence.

To ensure that, brain formation is done fast and good even at conception levels. In the first month following conception, the cells in the neural tube start to multiply at an astonishing rate, reaching a maximum of 250,000 neurons a minute. Most of the brain’s lifetime supply of cells is produced by six months. By birth the brain has developed the total 100 billion brain cells, or ‘neurons’, it possesses.

By eight months of age the average infant, living in a stimulating, secure and loving environment, will have sparked 500 trillion of neural connections. By the age of two, an infant has developed around 1000 trillion of these connections. By the age of 18 the number of connections has been reduced to around 500 trillion - the same number the young adult had as an 8-month old.

As we learn and accept the intricacies of the processes and mechanisms of human body, we all become more and more aware and intelligent about ‘how’ and ‘why’ we are ‘what’ we are. This helps in a big way understanding our instinctive self and then, it is easy and clear as to how and why we all have to introduce behavioral and actionable changes in these genetic inclinations to attain larger excellence in not only our relationships but also in all aspects of our interaction with the larger society.

Knowing is always better, though cumbersome at times!

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Love Wisdom – 7

Ingredients of Child’s Love: Innocence (80%), Trust (20%), Intelligence (0%)

Ingredients of Mature Love: Innocence (0%), Trust (20%), Intelligence (80%)

Conclusion – Trust quotient remaining the same, Love is a function of Innocence.

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Of God’s Sons And Daughters!

Often, the gender discussion hovers around the term, man and woman. The gender discourse is restricted to the domain of man-woman complementarities and competitions. The ideal terms of reference, however seems to be, masculinity and feminity – of not only humanity but all species.

Since ages, some of the truly arrived people have always prescribed humanity to widen its worldview to assign equal weight and assimilation of all creatures living on earth. However, it is only natural that in all such discourse about masculinity and feminity, the issue restricts down to just man-woman entities. This itself kills the utility of any worthwhile discourse.

The archetypal idea of humans being planted by Gods on earth as part of some ‘larger design’ is at the core of this ‘limited worldview’ and this narcissism of counting only humans as something different from all other species on earth.

Evolution, in its very modern and objective factuality, is never seeing human species as entirely different and alien from other species. Humans as a species, is a result of billions of years of evolution is one idea, which is not accepted by humans in general in its intelligent discourses about gender issues.

It seems like, any discourse on man-woman entities cannot be holistically and meaningfully attempted, if it is restricted only to human race and ideas from all other species are not accommodated and assimilated as of equal relevance.

Interestingly, when it comes to accepting the ‘utility’ part of scientific advancement, in the form of technology and other human-use benefits, we accept the idea of evolution and its premise that humanity has evolved out of a chain of species over billions of years.

Most medicines, other medical cures, even some psychological theories are derived from first applying them on other species – rats and guinea pigs, etc. Pure Science has developed many solutions for humanity after finding huge similarities of humans with other species. Social sciences are however, happy believing humans as something aloof and away from other species.

One of the most crucial discourse of humanity today – the gender discourse too is afflicted with this same ‘partisan worldview’. That is why, the holism, which is required for understanding the gender discourse is always missing.

However, there is another trouble. Humans may love their pets and love to use animal products in big way, they feel insulted and dismayed at being compared to them. Humans are happy to use animal names as insults and abuse-words for other humans.

Humans think of themselves as sons and daughters of Gods but this same entitlement is not extended to other creatures. All religions admit that God is in all creatures and in almost all things – living or non-living. Still, a man is God’s son, but an insect is not.

Science would say, though not with authoritative surety that humans still have genes of their nocturnal predecessors of millions of years ago, very few humans would accept it. It is really very degrading, even for very intelligent ones, to see himself or herself as one in line with creatures like ape, reptiles and insects.

As we do not accept ourselves in an assimilative and holistic approach with all other creatures of the world, we fail to accept the missing fact that all questions and issues of humanity are millions of years old as they did not emanate now or few hundred years back. They came to fore when DNA was created and life-forms picked up on earth.

As, science has very recently been offering knowledge about the mechanisms of universe and human evolution, we are now first time in the history of civilizations, at a point where we can objectively, easily and happily see and accept the entire universe and all life-forms in single, assimilative and holistic perspective.

The first issue of human discourse, therefore is this issue of ‘assimilative and holistic worldview. All other issues like gender discourse shall automatically fall in line with the singularity of solutions, which this new worldview shall come up with.

Metaphorically, there are only two competing genders – one is energy and second is system (mechanism). For artistic and symbolic convenience, we can say, energy is masculine and system is feminine. Let us not push in the ‘human question’ of whether energy is better and important or the system! The question is useless.

The idealism is – system can be successful only when it has the will and skill to discipline the energy. Similarly, energy can be productive only when it operates through a system, which has larger capacity for constructive and creative use of energy for larger wellness.

Evolution tells us – this symbiosis is crucial but always ephemeral as nature is so positioned that the poise and order between ‘energy’ and ‘system’ is itself constantly evolving – towards good or bad. The idealism is always missing.

The modern, aware and endowed humanity, with objective and scientific worldview can attain this ‘missing’ poise and live in sufficient peace and wellness. The question is – can humanity attain this required ‘worldview’?

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Love Wisdom – 8

No one can ‘teach’ anyone; everyone however, can ‘learn’ as, former is a reactive-situation; later a ‘receptive’ consciousness positioning. Love lands you in absolute reception of wisdoms as you excel as master internalizer.

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As She Undoes It, You Focus On Doings

Acceptance somehow works magic for compatibility and cooperation. Different entities may not necessarily be competitive as complementarities are better with distinct things.

Once we admit with affection and compassion that men and women have been designed differently by evolution forces and this distinction was actually very suitable for the intrinsic good and wellness of humanity, we are all well off.

Now, science has proved that women brain has distinct make up. In simple words, women have this area responsible for language and expressions in both left and right lobes of their brain, whereas, men have only on one side.

It is truly beautiful to see, understand and accept that women have to be different from men and must have different somethings from men as it enhances survival and excellence of humanity as a whole. Women have different sensitivities and she expresses them in her own distinct ways…

So, when she is saying, when she wants you to listen, cease to be a man with a man’s instinct, rather become a man with a kid’s sensitivities. Accept her uniqueness with innocence and love her sensitivities, as it would land you in good stead too.

Pamper her, prompt her, take her in, kiss her eyes and tresses, navigate your touches through her chiseled undulations to facilitate her golden and honey-dew expressions. Evolution may be a stupid engineering, yet in has created two very complementing entities of male and female.

So, when your woman is expressing her sensitivities, her concerns or simply wishing to have her words, treat her as an angel and be extra inventive and even artistic in loving her. She needs it and deserves it.

Let her talk, you better zero in your energies on making her feel, she is the princess of your life. Keep looking in her eyes, kiss her lips often to thank her for her words, keep her silky frame warm in your embrace, to say a wordless thanks.

You actually do a favor not to her, but yourself as through her sensitivities, she is making a man out of you. A man creates utility and worth only because he has a woman accepting them all. Blame it on evolution, which created this mechanism. Humanity thriving for millions of years only corroborates – this mechanism is good and useful.

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Love Wisdom – 9

Some think love is recreation; others take it as passion, mission, submission or admission. Love however is what it is – A Superposition.

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The ‘Mystery’ Of Being A Woman

One of the top scientists of our time has given billions of men a reason to smile and be proud of what they always thought was the ‘right’ state of reality. Stephen Hawkins said sometime back he believed women as ‘complete mystery’ and his mind; which did a glorious lot in unraveling the mysteries of universe; was preoccupied by this mystery called women.

Men all ages and across geographical boundaries have believed this since ages and they have since long almost made their women also somehow accept that being ‘mysterious’ is very nearly a much-required feminine trait. Naturally, the neo-feminist movement looks so hell-bent to pull this tag off in as many ways as the cultural environments of their places allow them to.

If things are seen from mind perspective, mystery is in the mind of the person who believes something as mysterious