Guity until proven innocent by Cama seeney, Monique x (howl and other poems .TXT) 📖

 Eyes of white fire

I quickly ran to his side, and looked into his eyes. Which were non-moving from their target. Seth. Electric seemed to fly from them, his eyes almost glowed. This close I could see the line of black that ringed them. Even spilled into his eyes a little. Part blue part black. I swallowed and slowly walked over to him. 'Link, don’t.' I whispered knowing it wasn't worth it. He wasn't mad, he looked psychotic. ‘All the best people are crazy.’ I whispered to him, recounting what I’d said to myself earlier. ‘But not like this.’ I grabbed his hand and pulled until he looked down into my own eyes. ‘Not here.’ I whispered feeling eyes on us all. The lighting was bad, I knew my pupils were dilated showing all of my freaky eyes for him to see.

His own eyes darted from one to the other in quick succession. Eventually he nodded and smiled slowly. ‘What is it with you Rosa?’ He said, well at least he didn’t say Princess this time, squeezed my hand once before letting it go. I shifted seats away from Seth and took the free one next to Lilly – the seat opposite Seth. Thus forcing Seth to leave or putting Lincoln to my right. One across and right from Seth. Silently he sat in the seat raising an eyebrow at me. Before he could sit down I nudged him and he nearly became a sprawl on the floor once again. Instead he caught himself and jumped behind my chair pulling it and me backwords. I giggled and jumped up, grabbing his new allocated chair I sat down.

Seth send Lincoln another glare before standing up and leaving. He hadn’t even bothered to take his tray with him. I quickly ate the rest of my food and placed the plates above one another. The drinks on the same try and then the tray under neither the loaded one. I stood and left taking my book with me. Freedom. ‘Hey’ Seth called from the hallway. I sighed and turned towards him. ‘Yes?’ I asked a little annoyed, I had to work with Lincoln and Cam every day, and I didn’t want to piss them off by talking to this… I didn’t want to think of an insult in case I myself was being the idiot. Opse.

‘Look I…’ He didn’t finish, he scratched his head and looked over my shoulder. I took one step back preparing to look behind me. ‘Darling what have I told you of playing with the delinquents?’ Cam asked putting his arms around my torso. ‘Well…’ He didn’t finish. ‘You really don’t remember?’ He said with clear delight in his eyes. ‘I said I’d have to beat them up. Sweetie please do be careful, you know what I get like when I don’t get my way. No one likes it when I’m unhappy.’ He replied putting his face into my neck. He licked it and I couldn’t help but giggle – it was supper gross. I turned around and shot him a glare, he only winked and walked passed the star struck Seth. ‘You’re an idiot. A possessive, weird idiot.’ I told him wiping my neck with vigour. ‘Lincoln’s right you are a princess.’ He told me grinning like an idiot. I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, I wanted my alone time. I would fight nail and tooth for it.

I felt like I was going to explode I couldn’t take any more drama. From exploding teens, from drugs, to my brother. I know I brought this on myself, well most of it. I knew blaming others wouldn’t help me in the long run but I hadn’t done it all. I was innocent. Guilty until proven innocent right.

I walked and walked not looking where I was going, the tears again. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like screaming it from the highest ridge, the lowest cloud. They deserved to know. I was innocent. Tears fell like the unstoppable force they were. I started running I couldn’t stand it anymore, I couldn’t stand life. It was stupid. I was lost and alone but running made me feel better. Turned my scars into paper cuts. I was too young to throw my life away, I knew that. But that didn’t stop me from wishing I could some days. I found myself in a grave yard, I slowed to a walk staring at the trees, blowing in the wind. Trees were never upset, never worried. Their biggest troubles were because of humans. I walked up to the first grave, it was old and covered in leaves.

I wiped my tears away and brushed away the dirty dust that covered the front of the grave. ‘Anglia Prescott. 1997 – 2014.’ She was a year younger than me, at seventeen she died. ‘True friends stab you in the front.’ Was written across her grave stone, I smiled sadly and continued cleaning her grave. It cleared my head for some strange reason. I stood after pulling all the weeds away and continued my walk through, careful not to step on any graves. I walked and walked, grave after unfamiliar grave. It was peaceful.

When I reached the last of the graves I walked further and further away from the school. I managed to find myself in another forest. The trees barely a hairs breathe apart. The browns clashed together and greens above all else stood starkly out. The darkness was slowly falling all around me and fog seemed to come with it, the moon rose slowly and lit my path. I was not afraid of the dark. Nothing out here can hurt me. But on the same note no one wanted to hear me cry, no one wanted to feel my pain. I started running again, the tranquillity never lasts long.

I ran into the darkness welcomed it, the dark was my only friend. Because darkness was only the absence of light. If I ran here during the day time I would see the exact same, nothing was different out here. I ran until my heart felt like it wanted to explode, I ran until my feet turned into lead, I ran until every breath was like a sharp piercing pain to my throat and then I ran further.

I stopped at the sound of water splashing against more water, the river? I asked myself wondering if this is where Lincoln and Cam were going to take me before. I stopped and lay my hands in the water that never could be caught in a human. Dripping through my fingers I watched fascinated, well that was until I heard the crows caw. I heard someone moving quickly through the forest and directly in my direction. I walked silently over to a tree and then the next. Until I couldn’t hear the running over my own heartbeat. Only then did I allow myself to run like hell back through the forest. The forest didn’t seem friendly any more, it seemed more like a forgotten land. Beautifully dangerous, I didn’t hate the dark nor did I fear it. But I knew, well presumed, what happened to girls left in the forest when she was surrounded by delinquents. Even if I was one, I knew when it was time to be aware of something.

I remember a quote from Ryan Pitts – Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the ability to move forward in the face of it. He was a famous soldier in the American army, I knew he was given a medal of honour but I never knew why. I am and forever will be my own light in the darkness. I sprinted through the forest seeing the trees only seconds before I nearly smashed into them. I heard the stranger grunt before turning tail and running straight at me.

I am fine, I will be fine. I am faster than anyone here, no one will catch me.

Doubt crept into my mind when I thought of the off chance it was Paul chasing me, if it was he would have already caught me. I thought rationally, I am faster. I will not give in, it’s not in my nature nor will it ever be. My chaser cussed and tried to run faster, I heard him gaining but I was already at the head of the first (or last) grave. I leaped over it apologising profoundly. I looked around but there were no more, the ground beneath my feet was squishy, no one was here. I wasn’t at the grave yard, I was on the beach. I couldn’t see inches in front of my face, nothing was evident. I could hear my could be stalkers breath puffing out behind me. The quiet shushing sound of the sea nearly froze me in my tracks. The smell of sault calmed me. Home.

I turned away from the sound and sprinted away from it. Ten minutes, if I can last ten minutes then I will make it. I stumbled on the sand moving too quickly, falling to my knees I quickly scrambled forward. I ran and ran until my feet hit gravel, slipping I fall face first. Putting my hands down stopped the force - my hands, elbow and knee weren’t feeling so lucky. I could feel the gravel stuck in my palm, the blood spilling down my arm and knee. It pushed me forward, they throbbed and the blood spilled faster but I needed to be safe. I needed to be free.

I sprinted in the direction of the boarding rooms, when I saw them in the distance I nearly slowed down. Nearly.

You can choose your friends, not your fears

I burst through the doors with so much force I thought I was going to run the door down. No one was in the lobby, tears ran down my face. I wasn’t safe yet, but I also wasn’t sure I could run any more. The half run half limp up the stairs was horribly painful, on the second floor I was ready to keel over. I quickly pored as much energy as could into concerning the second set of stairs. At the top of them stood Lincoln. I limp ran straight into his arms, not caring if anyone else was around. I sobbed uncontrollably in to his shoulder, his arms automatically rapped themselves around my frozen, shaking bloody body.

‘Hey, hey shh. What’s wrong?’ He whispered stroking my hair. I shook my head unable to respond, my teeth chattered audibly. ‘Let’s get you warmed up.’ He said almost to himself, he picked me up and carried me to a random room. I closed my eyes uncaring, I knew I was safe. At least for a little while.

He opened the door of his room with a struggle and walked in, his room could have been the twin of mine. Cleaner and different covers but still. He placed me down on his bed rapping a midnight blue comforter around my shoulders. He walked over to the door and closed it quietly, he turned and walked slowly over to my terrified form. He walked over to his draws and grabbed a plain red jumper, he handed it out to me pointing