Fin by A.R.C. (top 50 books to read .txt) 📖

the female.

"COLLIN! LETS GO!"

I forced my feet to move in the direction towards Rod and it felt weird having my back away from the revival. Just as I took about three steps the homeless guy came out of nowhere and blocked me. "Hey! I said. "Excuse me..."

"You sure you want to go in that direction?" He said what seemed like a bit under his breath as he continued to walk away. And then I thought about what I think I heard him say. All Rod was going to do is ask someone to buy more beer and get some weed from whomever. Or I could go home...

"So did you like what you seen?"

I turned around to see the question came from the girl who was on stage. I guess this was Jenna. Her hazel eyes stared right through me as she waited for an answer. "I..I guess...yeah. You guys were awesome."

"I'm Jenna." She held out her hand for me to shake but I couldn't move again. Then the other two guys walked over toward us. The happy one asked, "Who is this Jenna?"

"I'm not sure. I guess the cat got his tongue or the devil is holding it back." She said with a short laugh.

"Nooo he's just shy. I'm Steve. This is Mark."

"Co-"

"Collin!" Rod was getting impatient and he walked over to me. "Why are you just standing here?!"

"Collin. A disguished name. And who's your friend?" Steve asked pleasently.

"What? Dude, don't worry about my name. It's not important."

"If you say so..." Steve said. "Well, if you getting food we have plenty here. Good home cooking pot luck."

"Naw man. We good. Come on, Collin." Rod's voice detected irratation and uneasiness.

"I am hungry..." I was surprised to hear my voice speak up and so was Rod and the other three.

"Then it's settled. Follow us, please."

My feet began to miraclessly move as I was led into the group from ONE LOVE CHURCH. I didn't even bother to look back at Rod because I know I would see betrayl on his face and there was no point in hoping he would follow because I knew he wouldn't step foot in a group that would judge him. There were tents pitched up and underneath were tables and chairs people were sitting in, mixing and mingling. And then I seen all that food lined up and ready to be eaten. I haven't had a home cooked meal before but the way my mouth was watering I know that it would taste so much better than canned foods and food that has been stolen.

I gotten two plates worth and didn't even think to see who would be staring. Mark and Steve sat next to me while Jenna sat accross. They ate silently at first while exchanging looks to one another but they didn't give no reply on my eating habits. "Thank you all so much for this." I had said with mouth full of food and didn't want to come up for air.

"No problem." Steve had said. "Thank you for joining us, Collin. When we were on the stage, Jenna had noticed you in the crowd and she said that she had a feeling to approach you. Was she right to?"

"I guess so." I said. If it would lead me to this buffet then yeah." All three of them laughed. "If there's anything else you need our church is located just two blocks away. We're usually there anyway but we live in the neighborhood too."

I thought about what I just heard and I gotten bothered by it. "Look, I appreciate it this but don't think I'm some charity project to adopt." The thought had made me embarrassed and I was losing the remains of my appetite. And that had gotten me more upset. Maybe Rod was right for me to come along after all. "Oh no! We never thought of you like that at all. I'm just being polite with some information tied as a bow. I'm sorry if I came across the way you thought." Steve said without a blink.

"Are you always this happy?" I asked him. "Because I find that unsual."

"What is unusual now a days? Especially what is happening now. I'm always happy that God has allowed me to see each day that has passed and even though my days are getting shorter, I'm still blessed."

"Shorter?" I asked.

"Yeah. I have Cardiomyopathy. For short, a weak heart ."

"And you're open to tell people that?" I was amazed at his behavior.

"Why not? There's no secret about it. People wouldn't be informed if all things involving health was kept in secret. Then there wouldn't be testamonies to tell."

I stared at Steve for a good while before asking without thinking, "Are you gay?" Apparently, I wasn't so quiet enough due to some shocking glances my way.

"Wow..." Jenna had said.

"No, no. It's ok. You're not the first to ask. And no. I'm not. You can turn that attitude around though. Just because I'm kind and courtious, am talking to you straight in the face...doesn't make me gay."

"Steve! Oh, Steve!" An elder woman was calling out to him who was headed toward our table.

"Hello, Sister Helene. I'm glad you made it out after all without your feet being the boss of you. It would've been just the devil trying to get his way for you not to come."

"Ain't that truth?"

"This is Collin. He was in among everyone watching and we invited him to eat with us all."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Hello, young man. Nice of you to join us."

"Thank you..." I replied unsurely.

"That was such a powerful sermon tonight! And you all did no justice. Your mother would've been so proud of you, Steve. Unlike that sister of yours..."

"Yes, well Sister Helene let me see to you seat-"

"Thank you, Steve. The compassion you're weak heart has...bless it, Lord! And I pray for his sister who's out and about every night with those Satan heels click-clacking on the sidewalk of the dreadful pit of dealers, prostitues, and drags-Lord, Jesus!"

"Ok, Sister Helene...time to go sit and calm yourself down..." Steve gotten up and to walk her to her seat before she can say anything else about his family's life and walked her away.

"Man..." I had said feeling a bit bad for him. "She always does that? And he didn't even tell her off. I wouldn't allow that if someone said my business like that."

"Well, that's the difference. Steve respects the elders. Especially when they are a bit out of their minds at times."

"His sister...she would be down Govern Ave?"

"You seem to know the place well, huh?" Jenna said smirking at me. That made me blush a bit. "I don't hang around there like I use to. But yeah, I know the street. There's this prostitute I remember...didn't have a heart for no one and would be with whoever had the best dope...I could tell she use to be attractive...and now it's just her light walk that reamins from that past beauty about her. Those distinguished red designer pumps and sheer fish net stockings...yep, the streets got her good."

"Hm." Jenna had grunted while giving me a look. "Seems like you know his sister after all".... (@)


*********************************************


*JOSEPHINE*


(Meet you downstairs in the bar and hurt,
Your rolled up sleeves in your skull t-shirt,
You say "what did you do with him today?",
And sniffed me out like I was Tanqueray,
'Cause you're my fella, my guy,
Hand me your stella and fly,
By the time I'm out the door,
You tear men down like Roger Moore,

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good,

Upstairs in bed, with my ex boy,
He's in a place, but I can't get joy,
Thinking on you in the final throes,
This is when my buzzer goes,
Run out to meet you, chips and pitta,
You say 'when we married",
'cause you're not bitter,
"There'll be none of him no more,"
I cried for you on the kitchen floor,

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would,
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good,

Sweet reunion, Jamaica and Spain,
We're like how we were again,
I'm in the tub, you on the seat,
Lick your lips as I soak my feet,
Then you notice little carpet burn,
My stomach drops and my guts churn,
You shrug and it's the worst,
Who truly stuck the knife in first

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would
I told you I was trouble,
You know that I'm no good,

I cheated myself,
Like I knew I would
I told you I was trouble,
Yeah, you know that I'm no good.


-*Amy Winehouse "You Know I'm No Good"

)


"Jose! Jose, you in there?!"

Was there someone banging on my door? When you're high you can't tell what is up or down. None of my clients doesn't have the urgency for this sweet stuff I have so who is that at my door?....WHOMP! I believe I got punched in the face as soon as I opened it. "You simple bitch." I heard the familiar voice say. "Carlos?" My left check was throbing as if it developed a pulse. "Look at you. You're high as hell and don't know who I am! Do you know the trouble you have caused?! The mess that I had to clean up all because your greedy ass stiffed one of the king pen's from the upper coast stash?! I'm getting sick and tired of your shit, Jose. I can't keep saving your ass."

My vision seemed to sort of come back and I can make out Carlos, my pimp and savior, walking back and forth briskly with anger and hate in his eyes. "Aw, Carlos what you talkin about? I didn't steal jack shit from nobody-"
I felt his hand on the bottom of my jaw as he squeezed for life on my face. How did he move so fast to get in front me? He's so quick on his feet...I can't feel the pain he's bringing now but something tells me I will come tomorrow.

"Bull. Shit. Hoe. My men saw your funky ass climb in the dude's car and then after you serviced him, you clocked him with your heel! They called me as soon as they saw to let me know before hand! I told you if you need blow, you get it from me. Don't fuck with me, Jose! Don't you fuckin-" SLAP! WHOMP! Damn, he's mad at me.

"You keep this shit up, you hear?! Keep it up and I won't be around to save your ass. Mattor of fact, I should kick your ass out right now!"

I struggled to get to my feet but it felt like I made it up eventually. I had one of my red heels on and the other was in my hand. Oh. I guess this was heel Carlos was yelling about... "Don't bother. I see myself out, thank you." I took a bow. It almost felt like a bow but my head felt heavy and I almost stumbled forward so I caught my balance and dragged myself out the door.

"Bitch! Are