Fin by A.R.C. (top 50 books to read .txt) 📖

to hear people talk about your sister the way they do. Whether it's the people in the church or others on the street. But I do my best. I reached the "Honey Bee" finally and went on up stairs to where the rooms are. Her friend, Armani could be shady as well but he does look after her when she can get lower than where she was before. I will admit that.

I let myself rest after I got up to the fourth floor. The elevator never worked in this place and no one cares if you have heart problems or leg prblems, problems with your breathing. But it was alright. As long as I had God and that I see to it that my sister was ok and have some kind of help I had to push that little problem to the side. As I caught enough breath and I felt that my heart was beating steady enough, I went to the door 4G and knocked.

There was music coming from the inside-Prince "Do Me" I think. Lord knows I don't want to see my sister with a John but I'm going to have to make her see me. I knocked three more times till the door opened slowly and I seen Armani's eye peeking at me through the chain lock. "Steve. It's just you." He said. "I thought you might be one of Carlos's men coming for her. I have my slugger and jack knife to greet them."

I smiled a little. Just a little. He had to be on that kind of a high alert for Josephine. "How she's doing?" I asked. He closed the door to unlock the chain and then opened up further revealing that he was in a silk flower patteren robe, black nylon stockings and heels. I guess it was him that entertaining.

"She's strung out on the couch in there." His eyes searched my face down to my dress shoes. His leering use to bother me a long time ago. Until Josephine told me once that it was seducing me but judging me-whatever. I didn't see any difference from a woman trying to get with me and a man. And then through time I realized Armani was harmless. "Those bags are for her? I'll see to it that she gets it."

"I would like to see my sister, Armani."

"Yes boo, but she wouldn't know who you are right now. Hell, you wouldn't know who she is with that knott on her face and bruise."

"Bruise?? She was hit??"

"It's ok Steve-"

"Move." I said with a firm, stern voice. Armani didn't try to argue with me as he gladly stepped aside.

I walked in through a heavy tent of red lighting and I was right. It was Prince playing. I heard Armani's heels clacking behind me. There was a gentleman who was peeking behind Armani's bedroom door at me and he smiled at me with anticipation. "Stay in there, sweetie. He's not part of the package." Armani I had told him, waving him back further into the room. The gentleman, who looked no younger than in his early 20s, looked a bit disappointed and followed orders.

Josephine looked like a broken doll lying on the black leather sofa. Her legs were spread open with her skirt jacked up. One arm was hanging off the sofa elegantly but lifeless while in her other hand she was gripping her red heel shoe. Her face was sweaty and troubled. I walked over closer and leaned over to her. "Josephine...Josephine can you hear me?" She moaned a little disoriented and moved her body to where her back was facing me.

"Josephine. It's your brother. Wake up."

"Huh?..." She said sluggishly. I checked her pulse to see how weak it was. It was beating ok...Armani came over with a cool towel and handed it to me. "Thank." I said taking it from him and immediately went to wipe her brow and face. She moaned a little more and woke up a little. "That shit's cold, man."

"We can't have you laying here in sweaty."

"Steve?" She said. unsure.

"Well, that's a good sign that you recongize me."

"Boy, what are you doing here?"

"I heard what had happened and I came to see you and I brought you some groceries-"

"Aw hell Steve. I'm fine."

"Nooo. You're not. Come with me Josephine. I can get you to the hospital and then you can come stay with me-"

"Damn it, Steve!" She swatted her free hand at me as if I was a fly in her ear. "I don't need to go to no hospital. I'm fine where I am. Like I'm going with you so I can be around those punk ass church going fools who want nothing better than to judge me head to toe."

"I doesn't matter what they say. You matter to me. I'm family and I want to help you. I love you, Josephine..."

She sat straight up now narrowing her eyes at me. The look made her eyes appear as if she had no soul. "I don't need your chairty help. How can someone with your condition anyway help me when you're the one that needs help?! I'll be back where I have always been. Living this life. Now go. Let me rest. I'll catch up with you later."

She laid back down and turned from me again to get more rest. I remained kneeled down to her letting her words sink in. She has been denying me for years as is she was only my step sister and had the heart capicity of a half sister who was disappearing from me. I picked myself up and leaned over to kiss her. She didn't scrunch up her face or body from the compassion I showed. "I'll leave the things I brought here on the floor when you are ready to retreive it."

I was walking to the door without looking at Armani as he followed me. Before I could walk out the room, Josephine said the last thing I would hear from her. "Love you too, Little bro..." And then as the eight seconds went by, so did her slumber as she snored lightly. Armani opened the door to let me out. "She's going to be fine while she's here Steve. I will see to that."

"Thanks, Armani."

"Even though she doesn't show it...she knows she is blessed to have a brother like you. You're an angel."

That moment, It felt like something tugged on my heart when Armani called me an angel. A warmth of comfort seeped right through me and for the reason I wasn't so sure of why I did, I smiled at him. "Thank you, Armani. Take care of her will you?"

"You know good and well I will. Now you go home and rest or study for whatever college exam you have. You did start college right?"

"Yeah...scholarship and all."

"Mm. At least you made it this far. Take care of yourself out there Steve." And he closed his door leaving me alone in the dim lit hall way.

I walked out of the building and headed back to the housing facility that is part of the schooling program that I'm in. And along the way I looked at the lost souls who were roaming around the streets. I thought about Josephine and how far she had come and yet is still alive through it all. Just like her, many around these parts have given up hope and just chose to struggle for the rest of their lives. She's not suppose to be in a place like that but of course, life is about choices as well.

And I can admit that I'm thinking in a moment of "lolli pops and dreams" but I couldn't help to wish that I can help these people. Have all the power to do so. The cure for poverty, depression and pain. But all I can think of was to thank God for where I brought myself and to just ask for mercy on my sister and the rest... (@)


(I saw fireworks from the freeway
And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
'Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring
Now something on the surface it stings
I said something on the surface
Well it kind of makes me nervous
Who says that you deserve this
And what kind of god would serve this?
We will cure this dirty old disease
If you've got the poison I've got the remedy


The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it's serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.


I won't worry my life away.

I won't worry my life away.


I heard two men talking on the radio
In a cross fire kind of reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
They were counting down the ways to stab
The brother in the be right back after this
The unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh
Death breath is sure to outlast this catastrophy
Dance with me, because if you've got the poison,
I've got the remedy

The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it's serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.


I won't worry my life away.

I won't worry my life away.


When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why

Because

The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it's serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away.

I won't worry my life away.

I won't and I won't and I won't


-*Jason Mraz "The Remedy"

)


**********************************************


*SARAH*


I was running late.


And hasn't been the first time either. I do try to be punctuial but I am convinced that somwhere in the universe something has never allowed me to be. I used that as an excuse before from past jobs. Mainly all was when I was young and foolish and just wanted to have fun and as I got older-nope. Still feel that way. I can't tell that to the head nurse at the senior center, of course.

My mind wasn't even on to what could or could not happen today because it's been racing with last night's phone conversation with my