The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

thunder makes it impossible to head. “… yard. So we looked out the window and it was you.” She giggles and a flash of lightening shows me her face. In the rain, she doesn’t look much older than eighteen.
“Sorry for scaring everyone,” I say. “I’ve just never been in the rain before. I wanted to know what it’s like.” She laughs and moves some hair out of her face.
“It’s alright. We don’t like that neighbor anyway. He’s cranky. But we should probably get you inside, so you don’t get sick.”
We go inside and Marc is standing there with towels. “I’m making coffee, if you guys want to warm up in the kitchen.” The smell of coffee hits me as I’m in the doorway.
“I’ve never had coffee before.” I sniff the air. “It smells good.” I sit at the table. When the coffee’s done, Marc brings us each a mug, and then some cream and sugar.
“Aren’t you going to have any?” I ask him.
His face scrunches up and he shakes his head. “I can’t stand the stuff.”
I look at my coffee, now nervous. Annabel reaches over and touches my arm to get my attention. “Don’t listen to him. It’s awesome.” She pours some of the creamer into mine, and then some sugar. “This is how I like it.”
I take a long drink and the hot liquid warms the inside of my body. “This is good,” I say, and take another drink. I’m completely warm now.
I have a small, temporary high from the combination of the rain and coffee, so I don’t notice opening my mouth until words are tumbling out. “I want to call Collin.” Annabel and Mathew look startled at this. “I just want to talk to him about Belle. See how he’s doing.”
For a minute, she doesn’t move a muscle. Then she starts to nod. “Alright. We’ll call him in the morning.” Then she changes the subject. I don’t know why, but she’s really nervous about talking about Collin. “What are we doing tomorrow? When do you have to be back?”
“We gotta be back by eight. And I want to go shopping and get something for Belle, Aron, and Julie.”
Annabel suddenly jumps up. “I have something for Belle. Last week, Collin pulled me to the side at the party and gave it to me.” She goes out of the kitchen and I look at Marc.
“Okay. You have my approval.”
He laughs. “What?”
“Your wife. I like her. I can see why you married her.”
He nods and looks back to the doorway. “Yeah, she’s okay, I guess.” He smiles, and then moves to the table and sits down. “I just wish that Jane hadn’t been an Azulate. I don’t like that she has to be in that place. But it’s also hard on Annabel.”
“It’ll all be over soon. In a few years, that Academy won’t be there. We’ll be free. Everyone will.” He looks into my eyes, trying to find the source of my confidence.
Annabel comes back into the room with a small box. I open it and find a silver necklace with a heart. I flip the heart over, knowing that there will be an engraving there. Sure enough, in simple, small letters, it says, “Love, Daddy.”
I touch my neck, but I don’t have my necklace on. It’s in my drawer with the pictures. “Tell him I said thank you,” I say. “It’s beautiful.”
We finish our coffee and go back to bed. In the morning, I wake up late. Annabel and Marc are eating cereal at the table when I get down to the kitchen. “Get some cereal,” Annabel says, “and then we’ll call Collin. But you might want to hurry. He leaves for work soon.”
I pour some cereal and eat in silence. I’m trying to think of what I will say to him. When I finish eating, I haven’t thought of anything. Annabel dials the number and hands me the phone.
It rings four times, each one seems to be louder than the last. Finally, someone picks up. “Hey, Annabel,” I heard. It’s a female voice. “I’ll go get Collin for you.” I hear her cover the mouthpiece of the phone and call his name. I hear the phone switch hands, and then there’s a small pause.
“Hey, Annabel. What’s up?” His voice freezes me. I can’t move. I close my eyes, trying to keep the memories from coming. But I can’t. “Annabel?” he says again. “Annabel, is everything okay?” He’s worried now. I should say something.
I can’t do it. I can’t talk to him.

He starts to speak again, but I don’t give him a chance. I take the phone away from my ear and hang up.
A couple seconds later, the phone rings again. I go into the living room without looking at Annabel or Marc. Annabel answers the phone.
In the living room, there is another phone. I pick it up and listen in on the call.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Annabel, what’s going on? Why didn’t you say anything to me? I was going to call he Vipero and send them over there and make sure you were okay if you didn’t answer. You scared me.”
“I’m sorry, she tells him again. “I didn’t mean…”
“I know you didn’t mean to. But you did. So tell me what’s going on.” His voice is hard, commanding. I’ve never heard it like this.
I hear Annabel breathe into the phone. “It… it wasn’t me that made the phone call. It was Meagan.” The line is silent except for the sound of breathing. I keep the mouthpiece away from my mouth so they don’t notice that I’m listening.
It seems like years before he says anything. “My Meagan?” My heart starts to beat twice as fast when he specifies that I’m still his. “You mean Penny? But she’s at the Academy. They would never let her out.”
“She’s here. Technically, she’s not an Azulate anymore because she doesn’t have blue eyes or the birthmark. So she got to come into town yesterday and today.” She sighs. “She wanted to call you and talk to you. But she couldn’t. I don’t know why.” Once again, the only sound is their breathing.
“I’m coming over. I’ m skipping work and I’m coming over to see her.” Annabel starts to say okay.
“No!” I yell into the mouthpiece. “Collin, please don’t come. Don’t come here. You have a wife and children and your own family. And I have my daughter. We have separate lives.”
“But she’s my daughter too, Meagan! You may think that we have separate lives, but we don’t. We may not be allowed to see each other, but we have a family together too. Our lives intersect every day, because we have a daughter.” He is angry at me now. He’s never been angry at me before. “I’m. Coming. Over.”
“Well, I won’t be here.” And I hang up the phone. That did not go how I planned it.

I go into the kitchen, and Annabel and Marc stare at me.
“How far is Collin’s house from here?”
“It’s about half an hour. Why?”
“We gotta go. I have to get something for Belle and Aron, and then we have to go. I can’t… I can’t see him. Not now.” I go to the fridge and start taking out the food. We squeezed all the food into nine boxes, and put them into three bags. I carry them all out to the car.
I come back and they haven’t moved. “I’m just going to wear the same clothes that I wore yesterday, and I’ll have Marc take them back next time he visits.” I go upstairs and change clothes, then put Belle’s necklace in my pocket.
When I go downstairs, Marc is standing in the front hallway holding the keys. “Annabel’s waiting in the car. Are you… Meagan, what’s wrong? What happened to you?”
“I thought I wanted to talk to him. I thought after all these years, it would be great to talk to him, maybe to see him. But I’m not ready.” I shrug. “He’s the only man that I’ve ever actually loves. And he has a family with someone else. And I’m…” I laugh, even though it’s not funny. “I’m married to his brother, and having his brother’s babies. His brother!” I sigh. “I probably won’t ever be ready to see him again.”
He nods. “Alright. Well, let’s just forget it for right now, and we’ll go get the stuff for Julie, Aron, and Belle. And then if you want, we can go back early.” I nod and walk around him to the door before he can see my start to cry.
We go to the toy store first. It’s very small compared to the toy stores in the Memories, but since it has toys that aren’t made of old jumpsuits, I’m sure Belle and Aron will be happy with whatever I find.
I take my time. I want to find something for them that they can keep for their whole lives, not something that they’ll outgrow.
Finally, I find the thing that will work the best. They have a whole aisle dedicated to teddy bears. I find one that’s purple and one that’s green, Belle and Aron’s favorite colors.
For Julie’s present, we go to the building next door. It’s a jewelry store. I find a charm bracelet, and I pick out a charm in the shape of a “J” and one in the shape of an “A” for Julie and Aron.
I’m about to leave when I see the watches. All day, I’ve been debating whether or not to get something for Mathew. I haven’t found anything for him yet. But he’s always asking what time it is, and complaining that the Academy doesn’t have enough clocks.
I pick out the simplest watch that I can find. When I pay, I use the card that the Warden gave me.
It’s lunch time, so we stop at a sandwich shop. I keep looking around, expecting Collin to show up and try to talk to me. I know that it’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it.
After lunch, we go to drop Annabel off at the house. About halfway there, I realize that Collin will be there, waiting. I sink down in the seat, hoping that he won’t see me. But I know that he will.
His car is parked in the driveway, and he’s sitting on the trunk. He stands up when Marc pulls to the side of the road. He doesn’t come any closer, though. Marc and Annabel walk over to him, and I just look at him.
He’s wearing a suit and tie, but his tie is undone. His hair is a mess, and he looks angry, worried, sad, and excited all at the same time. After saying a few things to Collin, Marc walks Annabel to the front door.
Collin doesn’t move, but he stares at me through the tinted window. Now, he just looks hurt. I look back at him, and I start to cry. I consider getting out and talking to him. I’m in the middle of building up the nerve when Marc climbs into the driver’s seat.
“Last chance to say something to him,” Marc says, putting the key in the ignition. When I don’t move, he waves at Collin and starts to pull out into the street. I stare straight ahead until we’re out of the city.
I don’t say anything until we’re almost at the Academy. “Thanks for taking me,” I say. “I had fun. And it was nice to finally meet Annabel.”
He just nods, but doesn’t say anything. He parks the car and helps me carry everything