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to the door of the building. Before we go in, I stop him. “Mathew, what’s wrong?”
He tries to shake it off, pretend like nothing is wrong. “I just feel like you missed your chance. You’ll probably never see him again. I thought you loved him. I don’t get why you’d let that opportunity pass by.”
I sit down on the ground with my back against the side of the building. “I know. I just… too much has changed, Marc. He has kids with someone else. I’m starting my family with someone else.”
He sits down next to me. “But you don’t love the guy you’re starting a family with.” I just nod slowly.
“I know.” I don’t want to go inside just yet. Instead, I stare out over the desert until I hear the door open.
“I thought I saw a car out here. Why don’t you guys come one in?” Marc and I gather all the bags and follow the Warden back through the hallways. Marc helps me carry my stuff into my apartment. “What time is it?” I ask.
“It’s about four. Let’s put the food in the fridge and then we’ll go downstairs and have the Warden take these bracelets off.”
The Warden is surprised at how early we are, but he doesn’t comment on it. I go back to my apartment and grab Julie’s and bracelet and Aron’s bear. I also change out of Annabel’s clothes and into my jumpsuit, so that I don’t stand out so much.
Julie is sitting on her bed and Aron is on the floor, playing with his toys. He sees me first, and jumps up. “Aunt Meagan!”
Julie’s head turns and she gets up to hug me. “How was it?” she asks.
“It was great.” I tell her about it, except for the parts about Collin. “And I got you guys something.” I hand Aron his bear. “Here you go. I thought it’s a little better than the toys that we have to make ourselves. And this,” I say, pulling the bracelet out of my pocket, “is for you.”
I help her put it on and watch her admire the way it sparkles. “It’s beautiful,” she says. “Thank you.” We talk some more about the trip. I describe the way things looked, how the grass felt. And then I tell her about the food.
“Floor Six is awesome compared to the food on all the other floors. But there are foods that they don’t serve here that are… Oh, Julie, it’s amazing. I brought some back for everyone to try. If you want to try it, come up for dinner tonight.” We talk for a few more minutes and then I go to my apartment. By now, it’s almost six, and I don’t know where Mathew or Belle are. I decide to wait for them to get back before I get the leftovers out.
While I’m waiting, I go into the bedroom, and I take out my necklace. I turn it over to look at the engraving. I rub my thumb over the words for a minute, remembering the day that he gave it to me.
I’m clasping it around my neck when Belle comes through the door. “Mommy!” She gives me the same awkward, sideways hug that everyone has to give me because of my extended stomach.
“Hi, honey. How was your day?”
“I spent the night with Dr. Pender. Have you ever seen her room?” I nod.
“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” She nods and hugs me again. “I got a couple things for you.” I go into the bedroom and bring out the teddy bear. “This one is from me.” I reach into my pocket and take out the necklace.
“And this one is from your dad. I wouldn’t be giving it to you until you’re older, but you already know about Collin, so it won’t really affect anything if I don’t give it to you now.”
She opens the box but doesn’t say anything for several seconds. She takes it out of the box and looks at the heart, then at the simple engraving on the back.
“I’ll help you put it on,” I say. She turns around so I can clasp it. “Now we match,” I say, and show her mine.
Chapter 31


For dinner, Julie brings Aron up, and we have my leftovers. There isn’t much conversation, only the sound of chewing and an occasional noise of pleasure. Mathew is hesitant to eat the food that I brought, but I shove a plate into his hands. I give Mathew his watch, and he seems surprised. Since I told him I didn’t love him, we haven’t talked. We haven’t touched or interacted at all, except for when it’s necessary. We’ve pretty much avoided each other as much as possible. So for me spend money on him (even if it’s not my money) is surprising.
The next morning, all the sadness about Collin leaves, and I’m just happy. I feel refreshes, like a little fresh air was all that I needed. I think about it, and realize that it might not be impossible for everyone to get a little fresh air.
I get out a piece of paper and start drawing. I take my time, but it still only takes a few minutes. “Belle,” I say when I’m done, “I have to go talk to the Warden about something. I’ll be back in a little bit, okay?”
I leave my shoes off, because it takes too much effort to put them on. I go to Dr. Pender and ask her if I can use her key so that I don’t have to walk down the stairs.
I get to the Warden’s office and don’t even knock, I just go in. He’s sitting at his desk, and looks up at me. “You should build a wall,” I say. I hand him my paper and wait as he looks it over.
I had drawn a picture of the Academy in an aerial view. Around what would be the back yard, I drew a wall. Inside the wall, there are tables, a playground, fruit trees, and basketball courts. They don’t have basketball anymore, but with the Memories, the Azuli would know what to do.
“Meagan, what makes you think that we could do this?” He looks tired, like he’s been dealing with a lot of stuff lately. I feel bad for causing even more trouble for him. The feeling passes quickly, because this is important.
“You got windows. There have never been windows. Ever. I got to leave. That’s never been done either. An Azulate hasn’t ever left until they were being moved to the new Academy or if they were being exterminated.” I take a deep breath. I have a huge smile on my face. “You may not have meant to be on our side, but you are. And we need fresh air.”
“Meagan, I really don’t think I’d get permission to do this.” He rubs his temples and stares down at the paper.
“Why? We wouldn’t be breaking Academy Law. Technically, everyone would still be at the Academy. It would be legal.”
“If I say I’ll ask about it, will you leave? I have a lot to do. I’m already suffering from my last decision that I made concerning you.”
I shake my head. “Asking isn’t enough. If you just ask, it’ll never happen. You have to fight for it. Present them with something so convincing that there’s no way they can tell you no.”
He waves his hand in the air, dismissing me. “Alright. I will do what I can to have this wall built. Now will you please go? I have a lot to do. And you’ve already caused me enough trouble this week.”
I thank him, and then leave. I use Dr. Pender’s key and take the elevator to Floor Six. I go back to my room and take a nap. Between all the walking around and not getting sleep during the storm, I’m exhausted.
The next week, the Warden sends a few Vipero up to my room to bring me to his office. Once I get there, he stands up and smiles.
“Congratulations, Meagan. You get your wall.” He turns on the big screen and it shows a computer animation that looks a lot like my drawing.
It’s just a big wall that surrounds the back half of the Academy. There is a large playground with swings and a jungle gym. There are picnic tables and a basketball court, like the one I drew. There are trees and a couple gardens, some for flowers and some for vergetables.
“Wow,” I say, staring at it all. “That’s… that’s wonderful.” I keep looking at it, but he looks at some papers on his desk.
“The wall will be twenty feet tall, with an extra ten feet underground. Solid concrete. There will be some parts that are shaded, because in the summers it can get really hot. We have hiring people from the city to build this, and they start tomorrow. The estimated time for this project is less than two months.”
Over the next few weeks, my excitement consumes me. I still feel refreshed from my trip to the city, and I can’t wait for the wall to be finished.
But after a few weeks, I don’t have the energy to be excited anymore. From carrying two extra people around all day, I am exhausted. I have one week left of my pregnancy, and I am ready to get these kids out.
I sit by the window most of the day. Marc still meets me each morning, and he notices how weak I am becoming.
“You look like you’re ready to die,” he says. I glare at him. I’m not actually mad, but I’m very cranky.
“Sorry,” he says. “You’re gonna be exhausted. You tell Julie that she better step in and help you, or I’ll arrest her,” he jokes. I smile, but that’s the only reaction that I give him.
Marc always keeps a conversation going, even if I’m not saying anything to him. It’s nice, just to be able to listen to someone else talk about their lives. “Annabel says she wants to see the kids when you have them. I told her that I’ll do my best to make it happen.” He laughs. “The other day, she was laughing, so I asked her what was so funny. She said she was laughing because she can only have one more kid, and you have three, so she should be allowed to raise one of your kids.”
He laughs about it, and I try to. But I can’t. I think about how sad and upset Annabel must be, to never get to see her child again. And here I am, with one more kid than is legally allowed. It must break her heart every day.
When Marc leaves, I stay and watch the workers build the wall. The hole is dug, and they only have two feet of concrete left to add to

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