Lauren Takes Leave Gerstenblatt, Julie (classic literature list txt) đź“–
- Author: Gerstenblatt, Julie
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Jodi disappears momentarily and comes back with MC Lenny,who takes center stage with ease. He breakdances, moonwalks and gyrates aroundJodi, who smiles and shakes her butt at him. Then the bouncer finds Jodi againand Lenny is left dancing solo.
He looks my way and I feel my heart lurch. I know Ishouldn’t dance with him. Dancing is the first step toward my romanticdownfall. I lose all inhibition when confronted with disco. It’s like, gimme adrink, play some Gloria Gaynor, and watch my pants magically disappear. Thereare several college men from the class of ’92 who will attest to that.
I shake my head at Lenny. He makes a sad face.
Poor Lenny. So far, I am not worth the price of a planeticket.
I watch him find a new dance partner, a perky blonde wholooks like me twenty years ago. I momentarily feel a pang of jealousy.Partially for him, but mostly because I wish I still looked like her.
The thought makes me panic. Where did the time go? I mean,one minute I was twenty, and in the next, my lifespan has doubled.
The issue is, I don’t feel forty. I still feeltwenty, or maybe twenty-five, and I think I always will. That disconnectbetween my biological age and the one I feel inside is what’s so confusing.Most of the time, I walk around thinking I’m young. It’s not until I look atthis girl dancing with Lenny that I remember that there’s an entire generationof adults out there that are younger than me.
Which is what I’d call a buzzkill.
But then Kat grabs me and forces me to dance with her as acircle forms in the center of the floor. I pretend to push Kat into the circle fora solo and she pretends to push me back, because we’re lame like that.
A few guys move in to breakdance a bit. We clap and hootand raise our fists in solidarity with them.
Then Lenny enters the circle and Kat and I whistle at himas if he’s a stripper. He winks our way and then presses his torso against thefloor, moving his body up and down in waves.
“Go Lenny, go Lenny, go Lenny!” we cheer. Without so muchas bending his knees, he pops back up and busts a few more moves for the crowdbefore bowing and then disappearing back into the circle. “That was awesome,” Igush at Kat. “If Doug did that I would so have sex with him right now.”
“You’d fuck a guy for doing the worm?” Kat asks dubiously.“That’s all it takes?”
She stares at me, then adds, for effect, “The worm.”She stops before saying the rest, which I believe would be something to theeffect of: Your life really is sadder than I thought.
Kat doesn’t understand, because she hasn’t been married tothe same man for over a decade. She doesn’t understand that a man whobreakdances is sexy, and a man who flirts with you online is sexy, and a manwho follows you down to South Beach and drops everything just to be with youis sexier than hell. She doesn’t understand how incredibly, overwhelmingly sexya man can be when he does for you all the things that your husband just doesn’t.
I push my way out of the circle and go in search of Len.
When I find him, I lean into him with my whole body, myhands pressed firmly against his chest. His heart is beating fast. He looksdown at me with something like laughter, but then sees my expression. His faceturns serious, matching mine, his eyes asking me something like now or yesor really and I know that if I don’t act fast we’ll end up speaking toeach other and the last thing I want right now are words.
So I kiss him.
And I am instantly on fire. And then the club startsspinning and I’m standing—I know I’m still standing—but I feel like I havetilted sideways and I can’t get enough of Lenny, and yet I know I need to stop,all at the same time.
Everything around me fades away, all sound, all movement,all people, and there’s only us.
There is something electrifying about slipping my tongueinto the mouth of another man. There is a current, a charge, that makes it veryhard to break free.
Until a moment later, when all sound and movement andpeople come rushing back and remind me of who I am and what I am doing.
And that there’s only one way for this to end.
I shove Lenny away from me. He looks confused and reachesout for my hand. I slap it away.
“Don’t ever do that again!” I snap.
“Me?” he asks.
“I was talking to myself!” I yell. “But, yeah, now that Ithink about it, you, too!”
I turn and push through the crowd, hoping to forget theway anger and heartbreak distorts his handsome face.
I need to leave. I need air. Even though the Clevelanderis an outdoor club, the place is making me feel claustrophobic.
I need to push this woman out of the way, this woman whois talking to the Artist Formerly Known as Tim Cubix.
“Hey, Artist!” I call. “I’ve got to get going!” I put myhand to my ear in order to gesture a telephone call. “Tell Jodi and Kat to callme, will you? I’m going to take a walk back to the hotel.”
Tim excuses himself and comes my way. It’s so loud in theclub that he has to shout in my ear. “Lauren, you look wigged out.” I feel hiswarm breath on my neck and I think I might just pass out. Give up and pass outright here. Because, really, these amazing men are too much for one suburbanhousewife and middle school teacher to handle. In the future, if ever I findmyself in need of a small adventure, I should just keep it simple and go insearch of a high-end European toilet.
“Um…” I begin. “Kissed a man…not my husband…might passout…need backup…girlfriend 911…job, husband, children all driving meinsane…loved you in that Macbeth remake set in Portugal…”
“I’m not
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