The Self Harmed by Chalen D. (libby ebook reader .txt) 📖

to scar her skin with cuts and burns, and still want to hurt more? How does someone so loving, learn to hate her own guts? Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade as if her mind isn’t dark enough. There is a girl in the front of my class Who’s so sad that you find it rare to see her laugh. Her friends tell her jokes like that one with the guy, but all she does is close her eyes and enter her mind. How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure as to scar her skin with cuts and burns, and still want to hurt more? How does someone so loving, learn to hate her own guts?

Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade as if her mind isn’t dark enough. For her imperfections. There was a girl in the front of my class who yesterday took the breath that was her last. She wrote a few notes: I’m sorry I didn’t say, but my mind was messed up you couldn’t save me anyway. And to the girl in the back of the class who feels the way I did. How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure as to scar her skin with cuts and burns, and still want to hurt more?”

They bowed as everyone stood, and then they hurried over to Clara and Owen giving hugs.

“Come on. We’re up.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I’m scared.”

“You’ll be fine.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me on stage.

Everyone clapped as a spot light blinded me. I sat at the Microphone as Caden hit a couple of keys.

“I’ll be back.” He whispered.

“Wait.” I reached for him, but it was too late. He picked up the key board and left the stage.

Everyone stared at me waiting.

“Hi Mom.” I waved, and people laughed. “Jackson.”

He whistled. I looked around for my Dad but didn’t see him. At all. Caden came back with another key board.

“What was that about?” I hissed.

“That key board was off key.” He hit a couple of keys and smiled. “Ready?”

I nodded.

“Sophie cannot finish her dinner. She says she’s eaten enough. Sophie’s trying to make herself thinner, says she’s eaten too much. And her Brother says, “You’re joking?” And her Mother’s heart is broken. Sophie has a hard time coping, and besides Sophie’s hoping she can be just like all the other girls. Be just like all the other girls. Living in an ordinary world Just to fit in, in the ordinary world Just to fit in like an ordinary girl. Sophie's losing weight by the minute How did things get this bad?

Sophie's family, they don't understand it Gave her all that they had And her sister won't stop crying 'Cause her father says she's dying Sophie says she's really trying Problem is, Sophie’s lying

She can be like all the other girls Be just like all the other girls Living in an ordinary world Just to fit in, to the ordinary world Just to fit in like an ordinary girl

How did she get this way? How did she get this way? Through trying to hide it What does it take to say What does it take to say Shes dying, Sophie's dying.

To be like all the other girls Be just like all the other girls Living in an ordinary world Just to fit in, to the ordinary world Just to fit in and be like all the other girls Be just like all the other girls Living in an ordinary world. Just to fit in, to the ordinary world Just to fit in like an ordinary girl Just to fit in to the ordinary world just to fit in like an ordinary girl.”

“That’s my daughter!” Dad yelled.

He was standing at the back of the room with that blonde. He was late. I cut him a look and hurried off the stage.

“Ryder’s next.” Clara grabbed my hand. Ryder took the microphone off the stand and music began to play. Our mouths fell open as Ryder started to rap.

 "Dear friend, lover ex or whatever. I´m writing you to let you know I hope you feel better. I know that things are hard, the stress is so much. And when you reach out, all there are is uppercuts. And they are the cause for the ones on your wrist. the reason why you cry, make a ball of your fists. I understand that you have a lie you go through.

The fact that they yell and your brother would hit you. And no one gets you, the plastered on fake smile. The real one has been gone now for quite a while. So your arms bleed, but the blood tells you you´re living. It takes a way the numb feeling these people were giving. That razor blade has become your closest companion. It relieves all the pain you want to abandon.

Your arms are scared so you think you´re unlovable. But honestly I just want you to feel comfortable.

[refrain]

So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. I promise you you´re loved, so please don´t cut. Right now I see thaht you´re stuck in a rut. But please don´t cut, please don´t cut. And if you feel the need to say you´re all out of luck. I´m just a call away when things get rough. The fact of the matter is I know you´re enough.

So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. Put the blade down, it really isn´t worth it. No good will come from a slit up and bruised wrist. And you´re cover it, long sleeves so they won´t see. But you can´t hide all the hurt and pain from me. You say you´re miserable and there are times you want to die. But then you pull out a razor and cut while you cry. It makes you feel human, and like you are still alive.

But don´t you understand that the feeling is all a lie. You put your self in danger when you´re slicing up your skin. You´re only letting self-hate find it´s way in. I promise you´ll get better, but just meet me halfway. And please throw the razor and pins all away. I swear that you´ll make it, there´s no dubt in my mind. And if you look around, I know it´s what you find.

You´re gonna feel better once this door has been shut. Please make me a promise that tonight you won´t cut.

[refrain]

So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. I promise you you´re loved, so please don´t cut. Right now I see thaht you´re stuck in a rut. But please don´t cut, please don´t cut. And if you feel the need to say you´re all out of luck. I´m just a call away when things get rough. The fact of the matter is I know you´re enough.

So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. They label you, but not a single word is true. Who cares what the world is saying about you? They don´t know, they just assume. They´re not with you when you´re lonely up in your room. They not with you when you´re begging to up above. They´re not with you when you need a little love.

They don´t care when you have nothing to give. So who´s to say than you even would want to live? Every life is precious, and that is what I promise. If we never speak again, I hope you know I´m honest. You deserve to be happy, and clean from the cutting. You deserve to be a person who´s surrounded with loving. Every life is precious, and it´s something that I promise.

If we never speak again, I hope you know I´m honest. You deserve to be happy, and clean from the cutting. You deserve to be a person who´s surrounded with loving.

[refrain x2]

So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. I promise you you´re loved, so please don´t cut. Right now I see that you´re stuck in a rut. But please don´t cut, please don´t cut. And if you feel the need to say you´re all out of luck. I´m just a call away when things get rough. The fact of the matter is I know you´re enough.

So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. So please don´t cut, please don´t cut. I promise you you´re loved, so please don´t cut. Right now I see that you´re stuck in a rut. But please don´t cut, please don´t cut. And if you feel the need to say you´re all out of luck. I´m just a call away when things get rough.

The fact of the matter is I know you´re enough. So please don´t cut, please don´t cut."

Everyone clapped and he did some bows.

“Someone dropped out.” Mr. Pepper was urgent.

“They’re not allowed!” I objected looking to Alex.

“They left the school, and now I have a space open.”

“The band is back.” Caden smiled.

“No.” Owen and I said.

“Please.” Mr. Pepper asked.

 “l’ll play drums.” Alex offered.

“I’ll play base.” Ryder grabbed my hand and I dropped Caden’s.

“We’ll do it.” Caden said.

And Mr. Pepper ran on stage.

“Hey folks!” Everyone clapped. “Last minuet cancel so here’s a little band I like to call,” He looked over.

“Ana.” I called.

“Ana!” He announced, and everyone clapped.

My firneds looked at me.

“What? Most of us have eating disorders.” I said.

“Guys.” Mr. Pepper waved.

We all hurried out, and right away, Mom, Jackson, and Owen’s Mom stood up and yelled.

“Hey. So We’re going to perform.” I looked at Owen like I always did.

“Hey hey.” Alex said.

“Well okay.” I grinned.

I looked over and Ayelie and Clara went to the back mics to sing back up for us.

 

"Some people you can never please You might as well just let them be They mock everything not their own From their imaginary throne But I won't bow down, even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy So hey hey, this song is for us So put your hands in the air if you're crazy like us Hey hey Hey hey, that's freedom you hear Comin' right to your ear, that's the sound from our bus Hey hey Why try to be like someone else When you can only be yourself? No one can sing the song you do Be true, be legendary you So I won't sell out, even if the whole world thinks I'm crazy Why kiss the feet of the people who kick you When you can be anything that you want to?"

 

We played Hey hey by Super chick. The crowd stood up, and we had saved the day. Mr. Pepper was grateful and the show went on.

~Ana Cuts~

“Come on!” Caden hopped down the hall in front of me and Owen.

“You have to admit it was a blast. All those people dancing to our music.”

“It wasn’t even our music.” Owen glanced over at me for help and I nodded.

“True.” Caden held up a finger. “But it could be.”

Owen and I both lunged forward and Grabbed Caden’s arms before He bumped into a girl with a poster board.

“Sorry.” He waved before we moved on. “And After that you still don’t want to get the band back together?” He questioned.

“Nope.” Owen said.

“I don’t believe you, not for a second. We have a drummer and a bassist now. We’re perfect. And We already have a name.”

“I don’t have an eating disorder. And neither do you.” Owen pointed out.

“Yeah, but Charlie does, and Ryder.