Love Is A Form Of Suicide by Jimm Tumbly (book club reads .TXT) 📖

care of you? To me family are just people who happen to share you blood. I dont give a damn about them and they dont give a damn about me. Family is a word, not a meaning.

Its been two weeks since I finally let Victory in. I havent been any happier. She makes me smile and laugh. Im trying to get better, for her.

Today marks the day that Ive been in this prison for two months. Its visitors day, the day when every inmates parents or "loved ones" come to visit. I doubt anyone will come for me, and Im fine with that.

I open my drawer and grab a blue polo, slipping it over my head. I grab my best pair of jeans and slide them over my black boxers. Mrs. Scarlett said I should dress up. I didnt want to argue, although I knew no one would come.

There is a knock at my door and I already know its Jack. "Time to go Brent." He says. I close my drawer and follow him out the door.

"Ready to see your parents?" Jack asks, making small talk as we aproch the rec room.

"Like their gonna show up." I mumble my response. He shakes his head and I walk into the rec room.

Most of the pyscho's already have "family" surrounding them. I spot Victory sitting at the far end of the room. A woman who looks just like her is sitting beside her. Her mom. Next to her mom is a tan-skined man with dirty black hair. He eyes Victory in a way that makes me want to beat his ass. His eyes skim over her body slowly, resting upon her eyes. I start to walk over to them and Jack stops me.

"Thats her family. You cant interrupt them." He says, one hand on my shoulder.

"Do you see the way that sick basterd is looking at her?!" I shout.

"Brent, you cant get involved." I take a deep breath and let it go. Ill get him later. I turn my back on the scene infront of me, unable to stare at the

sick ways about to unfold.

I look at the doorway and my jaw drops. Standing there is mom, her blonde hair flowing past her shoulders. My eyes tear up. Im happy to see her. But then he steps next to her. His eyes are dark and his hair is messy. He looks like he just came from work. The tears dry and my anger replaces them. She spots me. I want to run away but its too late. Shes aproaching.

"Brent!" She cries, wrapping her arms securly around me. I hug her back, breathing in her scent. She smells of cinimon rolls and cookies, just like shes always smelled.

"My boy." His voice says. I pull away from mom and stare into his coal black eyes. I find nothing in them but evil and lies.

"Im not your boy." I spit. "We just share the same blood." He acts as if it affects him, holdin where is heart should be.

"Brent, dont talk like that to your father!" My mom shouts. I turn my gaze upon her.

"I cant believe your defending him." She looks innocent.

"What do you mean?"

"This fucking sick bastered almost killed you once! Or did you forget?" I shout the words loudly and the whole room goes silent. All the familes turn their eyes on us.

"Dont talk to your mother that way!" He steps in between us. "This is not the time for family issues."

"Family issues?" I stifle a laugh. "Your no family of mine! I wish I would have killed you when I had the chance! Or at least killed myself so I would have to watch you stomp all over my mom like you own her!" I can see hes getting angry. He rears his hand back and hits me across the face.

Victory comes running up behind me. I feel her hands on my waist.

"Victory, get away!" I shout.

"Brent, are you okay?" She asks.

"Victory, go! Stay away!" I shout even louder. My voice scares her and she retreats to her mom.

I stare at my so called "father". He has a smirk on his face. I cant take it anymore. I ball up my hand in a fist and hit him square between the eyes. He falls to the ground holding his nose, blood seeping from it.

Jack runs over and holds my arms behind my back. Mrs. Scarlett enters the room.

"Brent!" She shouts. "What did you do?" She doesnt run to me, but helps my "father" up off of the ground.

I pull away from Jack and stomp away, not glancing in Victory's direction. I run into the bathroom and throw up. I dont know why, but I do. Once im finally done I glance in the mirror.

The image that stares back at me is repulsive. His eyes are black and his hands are shaking. This isnt me. It cant be. I hear a toliet flush and someone walks out of a stall.

Its Tyler, he is in group with Victory and I. He walks over to the sink and washes his hands, not looking at me. He grabs a paper towel and begins to dry them.

"You need help man." He finally speaks.

"What do you mean?" I ask harshly. He walks over to me and pulls a small, clear baggy out of his pocket. Inside is a white substance. "What is that?" I ask, staring at it questioningly.

"Cocain man. Helps out so much. Hey, after you use this you dont need those depression pills anymore." I stare at him for a moment.

"are you fucking stupid? If you get caught with that your dead." I reply.

"Thats why you dont get caught." He smirks. I thnk for a moment and then, without another thought, I grab the bag and go into the stall.

Love Is A Hoax

Everyone talks about love. They say its the best feeling in the world, that it makes you happy and it beats all odds. But is it possible for a girl to fall in love with the wrong boy?

Thats what happend to Victory. She fell in love with me, the wrong boy. Im no where near good enough for her, and I never will be.

I stare at the ceiling, my eyes heavy. I am unable to go to sleep. She's all I can think about, even though I want so bad to forget her.

Victory's words ring in my mind as I toss and turn, trying to lodge them from my brain.

"Ah!" I shout, throwing my pillow over my face. How can love hurt so bad?

I feel like throwing up, like crying, and like kissing her all at the same time. I want to throw up because this is all too real. I want to cry because I know I hurt her, and it hurts to think I did. I want to kiss her because...because I love her.

I love Victory Johnson with every bone in my body. Her smile makes my insides warm. Her eyes meet mine with intensity that I had never felt before. Her touch makes my skin shiver.

I take the pillow off of my face and stand up. I quietly walk to the door and barely open it. I look down either side of the hall; no one is there. Very carefully, I step outside and shut the door behind me with so much as a whisper. Silently, I tip-toe down the hall to Victory's room.

"Vitctory," I whisper, tapping on the door. I hear her shuffle around in the sheets and then open the door.

"Brent." Her face goes from happy to sad in an instant. Pain washes over me. How could I hurt someone so beautiful as she?

"We need to talk." I say, stuffing the pain and guilt deep down inside.

"You arent supposed to be out of your room, let alone in mine." She whispers furiously.

"It will only take a second. Victory, please." She thinks for a moment and then sighs. She opens the door wide enough for me to walk in and then shuts it silently.

"Okay, what do you want Brent?" She asks, turning around. As soon as she turns to face me I place both hands on either side of her face and kiss her with everything Ive got. My tongue slides in and out of her mouth, licking her lips. My hands slide down her body to her waist. She shivers at my touch and pleasure washes through me.

I pull away, leaving us both breahless.

"Victory Johnson, I love you. I love you with every bone in my body, with every fiber of my being. I dont ever want to hurt you again." I look into her moss green eyes.

"I love you too, Brent." A smile lights up her face as she leans in and kisses me once more. Slowly, I move her to the bed and lay her down. Im on top of her now, kissing her neck and undoing her night gown. She pulls my shirt over my head and kisses me again. Her night gown is off, her bare chest exposed. I lean down and kiss each of her breast and remove her panties. She slides off my sweat pants and I slip out of my boxers.

Before I push in, she stops me. We are both breathing heavy, preparing for what comes next.

"Brent, do you have any protection?" She asks. I hadnt thought about that.

"No. Its not like there is anywhere around this place to get one anyway." I reply.

"What if I get pregnant?" Worry is thick on her words.

"Victory, you wont. Just come on." She nods.

"Okay." I begin to kiss her again as I push my way inside. She moans in pleasure, and it makes me push faster.

Victory is beautiful and wonderous. She is different than any other girl. She not just a hit and run anymore. Im here to stay with her, forever.

Color

Color. I cant believe it, color. Ever since I met Victory I no longer see in black and white. My life is no longer laced in gray, but replaced by bright shades of yellow. She makes me happy. She makes me laugh and smile. Before, all I wanted to do was escape from this cold world. But now all I want to do is be with her.

I sit on my bed, staring out the barred window. The sky is a bright blue, the trees blowing in the wind. Its September, three months away from my release. Three months to many. Once I get out of here, I plan on being with Victory. I plan on spending every minute of my new life in her arms. Now that's something to look forward to.

There is a faint knock on my door and Jack walks in. “Time for group.” He says. I stand up and walk out the door, oblivious to how comfortable I have become to this routine thing.

Jack leads me down the hall and into the room where group is held. Mr. Corps smiles as I take my seat next to Victory. Her face