No More Pain by Danea (recommended reading txt) 📖

I sat up from my bed. I couldnt sleep or think. I felt dumb and stupid. Why did these things have to happen to me. I couldnt look at myself cuzz i know i would get scared. Since that day i have never been the same. Nobody knows all my pain. I cant do anything im still as still. Nowhere to go might at wells get killed. I cant feel my legs i cant feel anything. As if i dont know anything. My life is a tragic and i cant seem to pass it. I wanna run but where? All i know is i'll find myself back here. i got up and walked downstaires. My sister and brothers were playing. I went to the frig to get something to eat. Then my dad looked at me. Umm is there something wrong dad i asked.
Dad: no its just you cant eat right now
Me: why?
Dad: are you trying to get smart with me
Me: no dad my voice got squeaky and worried, scared i was trembling
Dad: go upstaires and dont come out
Me: but im hungry
Dad: you always hungry now leave i have business to take care of and i dont need yo fat butt in my way.
I walked up the steps and started to pack. today i decided i was going to leave. I couldnt be in this house anymore no one loved me. I didnt even know if i loved myself. I have hurted myself enough and i cant keep doing it. i opened my window and got my bag and hoped out. I made sure i locked my door and the window when i climbed out. I didnt know where i was going to go but i knew it wasnt going to be here. I started to walk and walk not looking back at that stupid house. I kept walking. Then a car came up. Get out the way they yelled. I jumped back and started to run i dont know why but i felt free i kept running and running. Then i stoped.
I couldnt leave were would i go i thought. I had ran so much i didnt know were i was. I satrted to look and see if i could find my way back but i couldnt. Then i saw a bench and got my blanket out and laid on it. I feel fast asleep.

I felt someone hitting me. Then i looked up and it was a cop.
Cop: wake up kid dad and mom been looking all over for you
I got up and started to get in the poilce car.
Cop: what was you trying to do run away
Me: no i just got lost. I couldnt tell him i was planning to run away my dad would kill me.
Then we arrived to my house. my mom came running to me. She held me so tight.
Mom: baby girl you had me scared i thought somebody took my precious baby dont you ever scare me like that anymore you here.
Me: yes mama i want ever leave you
I kept holding her. Then the police left and i walked in the house.
Dad: what were you doing out there didn't i tell you to stay yo butt up in that room.
I didn't say anything.
dad: lil girl dont you here me talking to you
Me: yes dad im sorry
He came closer to me and he smacked me. Tears started to run down my eyes. He kept hitting me and hitting me. I was bleeding everywhere. He got a cord and wrapped it around my neck.
Mom: stop it stop it she cant breathe.
I saw my sisters and brothers crying. Then he let me go. I started to gasp for air. I ran up the steps and slammed the door. I cried and cried. Then a knock came at my door. I opened the door. I saw my brother and sister out by the door. I let them come in. They huged me so tight.My brother miles was 8 and my sister kelly was 6. I took care of them.
kelly: im scared
Me: i know i know i held them both tight. then my brother put his hands on my neck it was red and sore.
Miles: are you ok
I smiled and said yes.
Kelly: can we sleep with you
Me: sure
I put them right next to me and put the cover on them and we went fast asleep.
&
It was 6 oclock and i had school in the morning. I woke up quick got my clothes on and got my brother and sister ready. Then i brushed my teeth and washed my face and grabbed a pop tart. My dad came downstaires.
Dad: get in the care
My dad always took me to school but at this point i didnt want him.
Me: umm imma walk and kelly and miles are comming with me.
Dad: no you getting in the car
He took me by the hair and walked me to the car. My sister and brother hopped in.
Dad: now if anybody ask about yo neck you tell them you fell.
Me: so you want me to lie
Dad: shutup
I kept silence then he droped my sister and brother off to school.
Dad: look tia you know how much i love you and i dont want to hurt you but you do bad things
I looked at him crazy.
Me: dad i do bad things you choked me to death, you grabbed me by the hair, you hit me, you did everything.
Dad: shutup i did that to protect you
Me: for what tears started to run down my eyes.
then we arrived at the school. I got out and headed to the building. I went to my locker and a boy was right there next to mines.
Me: umm excuse me you dont belong here
Boy: sure i do, im the newbie the names jake
Me: oh hi im tia
Jake: are you ok
Me: yeah why do you say that
Jake: i can see dried up tears on your face
Me: oh i loooked in my mirror and wiped them off with a tissue.
Jake: so what happened
Me: nothing
Jake: come on so your crying for no reason
I slammed my locker and walked to my class before the bell rung.

Finally school was out and i always walked home for school, thank god. I went to my locker and saw jake.
Me: umm can i help you
Jake: yeah umm i have to walk home from school and i just moved to brentwood and i was wondering if there is a short cut.
Me: no
jake: how do you know that
Me: cuzz i live in brentwood. I closed my locker and started walking. First i walked to my sister and brothers school and picked them up. Then we walked home. I saw jake. I thought he moved next door to me. I walked in the house. I called for my mom but no answer. Then i went to the kitchen to fix kelly and miles something to eat.
Kelly: umm can me and miles go to mara house
Me: sure but fisrt get mama permission. I handed them my phone so they could call mom.
Kelly: she said yes
Me: ok yawl can go but dont be there to long the food will get cold.
Miles: ok he said
Then they walked out. I went upstaires to my room. I saw my dad on my bed.
Me: umm imma bout to lay down so can you please move. He didnt say anything. I kept looking at him. Then he steped closer to me and closed the door.
Me: umm dad can you leave. He started to put his hands everywhere. Stop i yelled stop. He threw me on the bed and started taking my clothes off. I got my glass bottle and threw it at him. He got so mad and punched me. I felt weak and i couldnt do anything. I kept screaming and screaming. He put his hands on my mouth. I bit it. Then he punched me agian. And he took me.
&
I laid on my bed feeling sad and stupid. I couldnt believe what just happened. I couldnt get up. i just sat there still as still. Then a knock came at my door. I was to terrified to open it so i just went to sleep and cried and cried.

I decided i was just going to take a walk so i can get my mind straight. I started to walk and walk. I had freinds but they all left when my dad came back. I wish i could just disappear be gone. I started to walk and walk. I didnt know where i was going but i knew it wasnt going to be far. I couldnt leave the house knowing that my