The Self Harmed by Chalen D. (libby ebook reader .txt) 📖

empty and the only sound was my feet slapping the floor and the pounding of my heart in my ears. I walked to the lounge, it was empty, except for a table by the window.

He sat reading a book. I walked up to him and tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and I tryed to give him a bright smile.
    "Hi. I'm Charlie."

"What are you doing?" He asked confused.

"Your new here right?"
He gave a half smile, and then closed his book, "Yeah. I'm new. My names Owen."

"I just wanted to let you know that if you need help getting around I can help you. It's a pretty big place."

"Thanks."

"Sure." I nodded and turned around.

"Hey wait." I turned around as he got off the stool, "Charlie right?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"I could use a guide now that you mention it."

"What do you want to see?"

"Anything and everything."

"Come on."

We walked around the school side by side as I only talked about the place we were now at.

"Need help finding your classes?"

"Yeah." He opened his book and took a foldded peice of paper out.

I took the paper and as I did I grazed his hand and was shocked, like I always was.

"Sorry."
    "It's okay." I focused on unfolding the paper a little too much. "Math. That's this way."

After I showed him his classes I showed him his locker and then then lunch table.

"This is were my friends sit."

I sat down in the spot Ayelie always sat in, and streached my hands across the table to the spot Ryder's tray usually sat.

"Do you sit here?"

"I used to." I nodded. "But I"m going to start sitting here again."

"Can I sit with you guys?"

"Sure." I nodded. "We have our seats. Ayelie sits here, and Ryder sits across from her. And Clara sits next to him, and I sit there at the edge. So you can sit here, next to Ayelie. She's a little strange, but I lover her." I smiled.

He pulled out the chair next to me that would now be his.

"Do you think they'll mind me sitting here?"

"No." I looked at him. "I think you'll fit in."

We heard a couple of doors open.

"I have to get ready for the day, so I'll see you at breakfast okay?"

"See you then Charlie."

"Bye." I touched his arm and then left the room.

I platstered myself against the wall just outside the food hall. I let myself slide to the floor.

"Hey."
I let out a sob, and raised my arms at the same time Ryder jumped at me. He picked me up and held me close.

"It's okay." He said smoothig my hair. "It will work out I promise. Whatever it is you'll be okay."

I sniffed and pulled back, "I had to let the old him go."

He nodded like he understood keeping a hand on my arm, "It was the right thing. To move on."
I nodded and pulled him in for a hug.

"Promise to never go away."

"I promise." He rested his check on my head.

He walked me back to my room, were we said goodbye. I took a shower, and then got ready. I stood in the door way of the Food hall, as people sat at tables, with food and friends. I heard an Eek! and looked over.
I smiled as Ayelie ran at me. I caughter her by her legs and she hugged me around my shoulders.
    "Charlie's back?" She asked with a slow growing smile, once I set her down.

"Charlie's back." I smiled.
We hugged and then she pulled me to the food line. She grabbed two trays and then loaded them with food.

"Um Ayelie?"

"Huh?" She smiled at me.

"Nothing." I smiled back.
She hugged me again and we walked to the table. I set my tray down and sat down. Clara looked at me and then sat up taller.
     "Charlie!" She pulled me into a hug. "Your back!"
     "I'm back." I grinned.

"Welcome back Charlie." Ryder nodded.

"Thanks." I smiled.
Owen sat down and my friends all looked at him.
    "You guys heard about Owen right?" I asked. "He's the knew kid."
    "Sure." Ryder said.

"Yeah." Clara lookd down.
     "I've heard of his ass." Ayelie poked him in the arm with her fork. "Watch it buddy."

 

~The past is never really the past. Now is it?~

"So what are you in for?" I asked.

Owen and I where sitting in the garden.

"These." He pulled up his sleeves.

He had more scars. More cuts. A couple of burns.
    "My Mom freaked."

I choked on my air a little as he turned his arms over and I saw the familiar alone carved into his arm.

"Are you okay?"

"Bet there's a story behind that."
     "Come on Charlie."

"What?"

"Are we really going to do this?"
     "Do what?"
     "Pretend like we never met."

"You left me."

"And I never should of." He yanked up my sleeve and I tried to yank my arm away.

"Please stop."
     "Charlie."

I looked at him.

"Come on. It's me."

I stopped fighting, and he looked down at my arm, running a hand over the alone. I gave a little whine as He began to turn my arm over and fourced my wrist to stay facing down. He looked at me, and let my arm go. He looked down and picked at his pants. I flipped my arm up and gave it to him. He grabbed onto it and kissed my arm.

"I still think you're beautiful."

I yanked my arm away, pulled down my sleves, and pulled my legs to my chaest and looked away from him.

"Things can't go back to the way they were Owen. They just can't." I looked at him again. " I don't trust you anymore."

He nodded, "Can I ask you something."

"What?"

"An eating disorder. Why?"

"You know why."

"Help me understand it."

"How?" I demanded. "I don't even uynderstand it myself."

"Do they know how bad it is?"

"What?"

"Do they know how bad it is?" He repeated.

"No." I looked away.

"Charlie,  this place is suposed to be helping you get better. From your letters You've gotten worse."

"You don't know me."

"I don't. But the old you never cut. Never had an eating disorder."

"The old me grew up. The old me never hated my guts."

"Why?" He asked. "Why now?"

"Nothing I say will explain anything to you. This is me now Owen." I set my head down on my arms. "Get used to it."

"I don't want to. I don't like it."

"Okay." I looked at him. "Coming from the one who has slit up and bruised wrists. I don't want to hear it."

There was a ball of light and I smacked it out of my face, crawling back until I was against Owen. I reached up to smack again but Owen gabbed my hand.
    "It's okay Charlie. It's just a fire fly."

A couple more came over to join the first. I backed up against Owen, and he put an arm around my collar bone. One of the fire flies had the damn nerve to land on my knee.
    "Get it off!"

"It's okay."

He grabbed it and I moved to face him. He opened his hand and the bug crawled around on it.

"See?" Owen asked. "He's harmless."

Owen took my hand and dumped the bug onto my palm. It walked around for a little bit, and then it flew away.

"Come here."

I leaned against him, and suddenly the garden became alive with them.

"It's kind of magical if you think about it."

"We're to old for magic."

"I'm not."

~As if your mind isn't dark enough~

There was a knock on the door and I hurried to pull down my sleeve.

"Charlie?" Owen asked.

It was early, and I didn't think anyone was awake. I slipped my blade under the padding and turned around as Owen opened the door.
    "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I shook my head quickly.

He grabbed my shoe and liffted up the padding.

"Owen no!" I tryied to reach around him for the shoe.
He turned around arm raised, and the blade shined in the sun from the opened window. I stopped fighting and stepped back. He sat on my bed, and stared at me and he pulled up his sleeve. His eyes didn't leave mine as he dug in for the first cut. Then another. And a thrid.
    "Stop."

"You do it." His voice was dead. "I don't want to hear anything from you."

I watched quietly as he tucked the blade under the pad and got up to hand me the shoe. I quickly took it.

"You should find a new hiding place. I'm suprised they didn't find it yet." He looked at my shoe. "Hidding it in your shoe is Child's play."

He left my room shutting it with too much force. I jumpped and dropped my shoe. What was happening to me? Why did I feel the need to cut out of bordem? I left my room and looked down the hall.

"Owen!"
He turned around and I ran down the hall.

"Help me."

"With what?" He asked.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. He pulled me into a hug.

 

~The truth is a dark scary thing. Don't you think?~

A nurse came into the room holding a clip bored. She seemed a little annoyed.

“You lost more weight.” She shot off. “Mind telling me why?”
    “My Dad is cheating on my Mom. I hold that secret with me. It’s a little stressful.”
    “You also went home. Did you eat?”
    “Like I said things got bad.”

“Well if you don’t stop losing weight You’ll have to eat with a watcher.”
She left the Weight room, and I jumped off the bed.

“What’s the verdict?” Owen asked leaning against the wall across the hall.

“Nothing you can help with.” I walked over to him, and grabbed the water bottle he held.
     “So you lost?”
     “It’s not that big of a deal.” I took a drink. “I’m not skinny like Clara, or Ryder. Losing a few pounds won’t kill me.”
      “Charlie!”
I looked down the hall and Ayelie waved at me.
       “I have to go.” I held the water