Divorced Of Somatic Stupidities And Happily Married by Santosh Jha (self help books to read TXT) 📖

have little utilities of words and language. The progression of the enterprises of music and dance is a conscious renunciation of the external and an acceptance of the journeys within. Intimacy is a brilliant mix of the best of both music and dance. Surely, it is ultimate artistry to renounce the cultural clutters of the consciousness, when deep in the intimacy music. The ingenuities of man or woman mind positioning needs to be renounced in the progression of intimacy as the music renounces words in its progression. Love and compassion needs a pure and poised higher consciousness…

This is important. People need to be happy and full of life together. Why waste time and energy on a notion, especially the populist cultural version of it, which is a fringe issue and a by-product of something more meaningful. People need to be Together; they need to be in Mutuality-Mode, they need to be Collaborators of Consciousnesses; they need to be Partners in engendering the artistry of life-living wellness and reciprocal excellence.

They surely need to be honest, innocently sincere to the core hypothesis of mutuality and committed to happiness. It is important that the man does not wish to individualize and particularize his emotions of ‘suitability/compatibility’ to his woman. For him, love and compassion should be embedded deep in his higher consciousness and must remain the primary energy of his wellness and happiness. Also, better it is for the woman to accept this hypothesis that marriage is only the ‘seed’ of the ‘tree’ of mutuality, which is evolved and matured with conscious elements of innocence of love and compassion. Men and women must adhere to the raw and bare basics of mutuality. The fringe issues, the peripheral attainments and populist perceptions in relationships should never unsettle the core and cardinal idea and ideology of life-living wellness and excellence.

Life is good, it is so full of beautiful probabilities and each probability unleashes a rainbow of happiness and wellness. It is the honest and innocent enterprise of mutuality, which lends fruition and utility to all mystically marvelous probabilities of wellness and happiness. The man and woman must invest well in the enterprise of mutuality. When the man and the woman are well in happy space of mutuality, the celebrations begin… Everyone is invited…!

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...For Finality Of Fruition

It is not that people await good times, the good times also await good people to come and hoist the potential seeded in the soil of future. Good words also wish for good readers, to be in reception of and be in linearity of the innocent intent, which ride on the shoulders of the words, for the finality of their fruition...

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… On Navigation And Expression Of Intent

There has to be a humble admittance – Any word, however well meant and well spelt, is a possible suspect of misinterpretation. There is a simple reason. People are in different consciousnesses and culturally as well as personally inclined to a specific value-summation of utilities. As a writer, it is a huge temptation to take liberties, with not only imaginations but also with the words, as against their common and popular use. Do kindly accept my latitude with language and personal coinages of words, as I understand, many times, they may not conform to popular usages. I share with you whatever is part of my consciousness. All wisdoms say, what stays with you is what sinks in. Wisdom is what we internalize. I share with you whatever I have internalized in my life. This may not be mainstream stuff; but may have utility in some meaningful way. I believe, as a reader, you shall enjoy this novelty and pleasant awkwardness of the writing.

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Thanks For Your Magnanimity, The First Chapter Begins...

CHAPTER 1

Globally, majority of young men and women have been labeled by employers as ‘unemployable’. This is not new as it was said years back and this is however, not something confined to professionals but all sorts of jobs. However, surveys also reveal that majority of young job doers are happy or reasonably satisfied with their jobs, even when they may like bit of this or that to get better. What does this mean?

First; why we are talking about jobs and ‘un-employability’ of youth? We are supposed to talk about marriage and ‘marriageability’ of young ones! Yes, there is a purpose. This job and employability is a good metaphor to understand the nuances of the contemporary state of marriages and the root cause of troubles in them.

Though there are complexities in the entire blame-game, we can say, the undercurrent is that there seems to be huge gap between what job seekers think and accept as ‘good skills’ and what employers actually seek for good and satisfactory employability. This also means, in our milieus, things may seem nice and easy but the undercurrent is ‘mismanagement’ and ‘stressed-relationships’ between seekers and givers.

At the very outset, when we dig deep into this ‘un-employability’ complaints and actual scenario of the problem, we can see how there are more perceptional issues than real issues at the grassroots. Still, the trouble remains constant and gap seems to be widening between expectations about ‘idealism’ and availability of ‘realism’.

When we apply this paradigm to other milieus – this work space realism to social or familial space, we can easily see the realism is same bitter, stressed and mismanaged. Why and How?

From the point of view of modern-day marriage-needs and roles of men and women in them, even when there is no valid survey or no specific social research data to quote, the reality, which is there but not accepted is – a majority of young men are ‘unmarriageable’! May be, there are also good numbers of young women, who may well also qualify as ‘unmarriageable’ too…!

The realism in marriages, like in work space is –

Majority of young ‘eligible’ men, when they look at ‘marriage job’, they think and act like ‘employers’ and blame most modern young women as ‘unemployable’ (unmarriageable). Similarly, as women are also now ‘equal’ stake-holders in the ‘company’ or enterprise of marriage, they too think and act as ‘employers’ and also label most men as ‘unemployable’ (unmarriageable). Both may be right, if not entirely then at least majorly…

Now, the bigger issue is why employers feel that vast majority of employees are ‘unemployable’? They cite the biggest trouble as – The engineers or other graduates have good educational degrees and high scores with good institutions but they have little ‘hand-on’ skills and experiences, which modern complex enterprises require.

A very senior and reputed doctor in India said on national media that majority of young doctors, especially from private medical colleges cannot perform a normal child delivery as they are not provided ‘hands-on’ training exposure to it. This trouble is however, not confined to doctors and engineers.

Secondly, industry complains that most of young professionals have poor ‘soft-skill’ repertoire. This soft skill is critical modern-day need in enterprises which have complex work milieus and high stakes at quality maintenance to compete in global market supply scenario.

The employers also have major issues with the attitudes of young men and women. The youth on the other hand are complaining too, though overall feeling happy about the job they are assigned. Their take is that companies are not investing appropriately on their training, working conditions, etc. So, the trouble is not superficial, rather deep-rooted but still, not 100 percent real as we can clearly see, majority of issues in the problem are ‘perceptional’ – gap between perceptions of the two sides.

The same trouble is in marriages in all countries. This lack of ‘hands-on’ skills and ‘soft-skills’ are also major destroyers of marriages. Though there are no valid data from either government or private groups, individual researches maintain that three chief reasons for growing troubles in contemporary marriages all over the modern milieus are –

Impulse Marriages – Both men and women not being sure why they are marrying!

Women Empowerment – Average men not having ‘hand-on’ skills to understand and accept this new empowerment of modern working women and average women in turn not having ‘soft-skills’ and ‘hand-on’ skills to be sure, which way they need to install and operate the intangibility of their empowerment for personal as well as larger wellness…

Complexity Of Relationships – Modern liberal socio-cultural milieus have offered options and variety to both men and women in choices of relationships and intimate partners. This is still very new, novel and evolving. Modern world has witnessed huge change in attitudes towards sex, intimacy and relationships. As young financially independent women are availing these options and variety now, which even men were unable to enjoy in past, all traditional perceptions and realism about relationships are precarious and unsettled. However, most young men do not wish to see and accept this new realism and many women are unsure about how to handle their new-found ‘optionability’…!

Like job market, modern economic enterprises have changed drastically and in them, jobs require a different set of skills, which are not being imparted by educators. Same with marriages. We need to understand it. The employers want ‘Industry-ready’ employees and do not want to invest time and money on training young employees, as per their specific needs. Employers complain that educational institutions have syllabuses and educational standards, which are not ‘Industry-Oriented’.

The youth however have good reasons to complain that most employers have bias against them and usually employers have ‘misconceptions’ about contemporary ‘youth-attitudes’ and youth-orientations’.

Almost similar is the situation in matrimonial domain. And, this is not only a modern day trouble but has been there since ages. Men were traditionally in the seat of ‘employers’ and they always complained about ‘poor employability’ of women in marriages. Most men, as ‘employers’, wish to have a ‘ready-to-go’ employee. They are already marrying late and have little time and space to accept and allow that in all employer-employee relationship, time and space need to be invested appropriately to work out excellence and optimality. Many modern working women, who are now financially independent, also find themselves in the seat of ‘employees’. They apply the same stupid benchmarks about ‘employability’.

Naturally, over 80% men and women are both ‘unemployable’ as well as ‘unmarriageable’…! Still, all such ‘unemployables’ are doing their jobs, earning good salaries from the very ‘unsatisfied’ employers and are happy too! Same with marriages…

We all – both men and women, especially the young men and women who are in marriageable age, have to understand and accept that marriage is one huge and very critical life-living enterprise for wellness and happiness. We all need to accept that even few decades back, when it was said that marriages were ‘happy-ones’ with almost negligible cases of divorces, in reality most marriages were in acute trouble. However, as women then were not ‘empowered’ and society was very unfavorable to women opting for dissent in marriages, let alone divorce, there was this misnomer that then the marriages were successful. Marriages have always been stressed and in poor management, like employability.

This realism leads both men and women to understand and accept two critical points –

Marriages always needed huge preparations and great personal skills from both men and women for its success. In human history, not only marriages, rather all man-woman relationships have always been very stressed and conflicted. Now in contemporary world, where life-living has become more complex and tough, more and better ‘hands-on’ and ‘soft’ skills are required for marriages to be and remain successful. Trouble is – marriages now need more skills, men and women however have less ‘hands-on’ preparedness and readiness. Moreover, as most elements of the trouble are ‘perceptional’, both sides – men and women are equal culprits of not seeing and accepting the realism.

Empowerment is a two-edged sword. As empowerment is an intangibility, not a tangible thing, which both men and women think as, we all, especially men have to accept that more personal skills are required to be invested in handling intimate relationships. Men have to dig deep into women’s mind and women too need to check out how