Divorced Of Somatic Stupidities And Happily Married by Santosh Jha (self help books to read TXT) 📖

what are common and compatible in them and what not, which can grow in time and invite disaster…

The simple idea is – Acquisition of knowledge is a troubling process, however, knowledge empowers truly and life’s core and critical enterprises like love and marriages should always follow the trajectory of knowledge and communication of this knowledge. No acquisition and attainment can have lasting worth and utility if not aligned with persevered enterprise.

To sum up things in a happy note, someone said, ‘Marriages may be made in heaven but so are thunders and lightening.’ Therefore, earthy prudence must never leave the heavenly postulations…

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CHAPTER 4

So, this key element in readiness for all good things in life-living, more especially love and marriages is this element called communication. However, expression of intent, communication of conundrum of expression of intent; worst, the appropriate wording and grammar of the above, when faced with the urgency and situational optionlessness, is not only some artistry, which most people do not have and they are not even apologetic about. Rather, it is a genuinely and very definitively a science, very few people have mastered and crafted well. Why?

The first reason is – humanity has not yet admitted that a human is essentially a stupid mind consciousness, caught in a rather dubiously problematic body, both of which are the scary and scamming design of something scientists call a ‘stupid engineering’ – Yes, this evolution…!

Secondly, and more specifically, humanity has not yet accepted with humility and egolessness that expression and communication is not purely some artistry, rather a tough science. This is so because, expression of intent and communication of thoughts involves our brain mechanism and our brain is a stupid design and not a singular body but a precarious cooperative or summation of many part organs. Till humanity in general accepts that brain has its own limitations and expression is not only an ‘outgoing’ trouble but primarily an ‘incoming’ problem, communication shall remain as troubled as it is and resultantly, relationships shall remain cluttered and confounded…!

Let us understand this Incoming & Outgoing ‘im-Pression and ex-pression’ signaling system and spectrum scam of the human brain. This shall help in improving everything – all aspects of communication and intent-expression. Relationship success, especially in love is all about ‘conflict-resolutions’ between two people in love and communication is always the culprit. Better understanding of communication helps love and relationship intimacies…

At the very outset, most of us have this express need to see and accept the cardinal role of human language evolution in creation and evolution of our consciousness – This ephemeral but very universal sense of subjective ‘I’. Human cognition – this sense of seeing and accepting realism and judging right and wrong, is largely a subject and function of languages humanity has created and developed. The language we speak and write is very important tool for our brain to work out our cognitive world. We can simply say – A human with faulty and screwed up linguistic sense and system is almost like a beast, who shall not only make other’s life hell on this planet but also that of his or her own ‘self’.

Science confirms, human brain evolved to present stage of consciousness and cognition, primarily because at a point of time, it evolved and developed language system and linguistic skills. Or, in other words, human brain could evolve to such a point, where it could develop linguistic skills, which led to contemporary consciousness of humanity.

What you see, which conveys into your brain as neuron signals are useless for your cognition, unless you have learnt a commensurate word and its phonetic sound. The red apple you see is not what it is for you unless you already know two words and its sound – Red and Apple. In languages, sounds are more important than written things. Our brain mechanism recognizes sound first and then correlates it with picture images of eyes. Therefore, not only language, but words pronounced well and right is core and basic to our cognitive brilliance…

This cognitive world of languages and their connection with how we use the memories and experiences of our brain states is some huge knowledge, vast majority of humans do not even know, let alone accept it. Your brain, especially this vast space in subconscious mind states, stores almost billions of bits of information, which your five senses supply incessantly and also what your thought process inputs. The stored memories and experiences are your lifeline, not for excellence only but very survival. However, when you need a memory or experience to help you at times of need, you have to ‘recall’ them, from different layers of your brain/mind consciousness. This ‘recall’ mechanism works right and accurate only when you have stored them well in your brain and created right pathways for them to reach to you, when you ‘recall’ them. Often, the very ‘cue’ (the brain pathways), which brain accepts for ‘recall’ is so abstract and poorly constructed that either it does not get recalled at all. Or, it is recalled with vague and mixed up facts…

It is like, you go to a library and ask the librarian for a specific book. The librarian says that the book is very much there in the library but where it is stacked he does not recall well and so it may take some time. May be, many hours later, he gives you another book, which may be similar but not the same one. However, a smart librarian, who has catalogued his books well, shall recall within seconds that the said book is in second floor and in the third row of the fifth column of books. Within a minute, you shall find the book. It is all about smart stacking, efficient cataloguing and brilliant placement, which makes ‘recall’ happen in quick and good way. When the ‘cue’ is right, the ‘recall’ happens. If not then…!

It is all about how we stack and catalogue our memories, experiences, learning and information in our brain. This smart stacking and cataloguing is a function of how brilliantly we have mastered the language we speak and write, especially the spoken language. Wrong spellings, wrong pronunciation, wrong handwritten stuff and we mesh up the ‘cue’ and ‘recall’. That is why, expression of intent and communication of thoughts is poorly available to most of us as we all have not yet accepted that language and its good learning is core element of our cognition and consciousness…

Tragically, in modern times and in contemporary cultures, language learning is at its worst. How people speak, write and pronounce are virtual nightmare for most of us. Modern technology has only aggravated our linguistic slavery and stupidities. A survey says, average American uses only 24 words in his daily life. Shakespeare had a vocabulary of 6000 words. Even these 24 words are not meaningful words as more than half the vocabulary out of this 24 are slangs, sexual abuses and cuss words. It surely is not cool to say ‘cool’ as answer to every question you are asked. Humans are stupid pool of emotions and every shade of emotion needs different mode of expressions. In absence of such a communication skill, relationships become conflicted.

It is surely not rocket science to see and accept as why expression of intent, communication of conundrum of expression of intent; worst, the appropriate wording and grammar of the above, when faced with the urgency and situational optionlessness, is the prime and universal trouble for many young men and women. The corollary of this trouble reflects very poorly on the ability of average young men and women to even see and accept realism. Poor and bad linguistic abilities have affected the very storage of memories and experiences in brains. Naturally, recall is vague, abstract and impossibly out of target. This rather engenders poor cognition abilities and abstracted consciousnesses. This leads to life-living decisions based on trullusions, not facts.

The contemporary times have seen growing ‘incoming’ trouble of this storage of ideas. Naturally, the ‘outgoing’ signals are also bad and poor. As the ‘Im-pression’ is faulty and scammed’, the ‘Ex-pression’ is only suitably more scammed and scary…

Communication is critical element in all aspects of life-living wellness. As marriage is at the very core of everyone’s wellness spectrum, artistry of communication happens to be very important for success of marriage. Then, we all must also accept that communication is not only about expressions through languages we speak. Communication is about how the ‘self’, this very consciousness of ‘I’ stands to relate with everything in our milieu – both internal and external. Expression of self, communication with self and its relation with milieus are important personal readiness for men and women. Before you are ready and qualified, it is stupidity to enter the domain of love and marriage. Most human enterprises fail because of this stupidity of ‘I’, which the self is adamant to validate as intelligence. This we need to unlearn…

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CHAPTER 5

The person, you Love, has to be in perfect and profound wellness poise, otherwise, he or she shall never be in a consciousness of complete and perfect assimilation and integration, which love’s mutuality shall demand. Moreover, marriage is far more and deeper domain of consciousness collaboration.

The person, you love is not some other subject or object you think you hold dear and like. The fact is – the person you love is essentially the image of your own subject, your own self or consciousness, seeking another medium than your own body-mind to extend its domain. This is the expression of your intangible homeostasis need. It is therefore only natural that he or she, whom you love, has to be a willing and highly navigable media, for easy and smooth assimilation into your ‘self-image’.

When two people in love are two brilliant, settled, poised, navigable, compassionately accommodative and malleable ‘media’, it shall be smooth and systemic assimilation of the two ‘selfs’ and two shall finally evolve to become one singular and symmetrical consciousness. This is the true success of love.

Only two higher consciousnesses can merge and melt into one consciousness…

Classical wisdom of Oriental spiritualism said – ‘Only generic and similar elements can have lasting relationship with each other. Therefore, for lasting wellness in intimate relationship, it is crucial that both man and woman have commonality of elements in their consciousnesses. If not, then mutuality enterprise is all about evolving together towards this commonality…

When this merger and assimilation happens, the two separate and exclusive ‘wellness needs’ become one singular and larger homeostasis. This ‘homeostatic love’ can never fail; it shall be the infinite success symmetry.

The onus of all these beautiful processes and evolution for the ultimate success of the ‘venture of love’ is on you. It is first your own preparedness, your own readiness for the start of the ‘venture’. It is also your responsibility to ensure that your special someone is also in the same state of readiness and even later evolves together.

Never ever take love casually. You already know it, how love is so intrinsically and cardinally associated with your wellness poise. Love’s success can make your life. However, if love flops, it has a calamitous impact on you as it has the fatal effect of threatening your wellness homeostasis, which is essentially your larger sense of survival. That is why we need huge readiness for love and finality of marriage.

Always remember, mutuality in love is never a readymade equity, it is always made together with conscious elements of persevered enterprise.

There is this very populist idea of ‘soul-mate’, which presents a case as why every individual in love should put more premium on ‘personal-inputs’, rather than ‘readymade’ compatibilities.

It is a reality which many believe is unbelievable. Yet, the fact is that 73% of Americans believe in inevitability of the idea and pragmatism of soul-mates. A survey few years back points out –

More men than women believe that they are destined to find their one, true soul-mate (males: 74%, females: 71%).

79% of people younger than 45 believe in soul-mates, while only 69% of those