The Self Harmed by Chalen D. (libby ebook reader .txt) 📖

She said quickly.
    "I love you too."

Clara's box disapeared.

"Who is it?" I called shutting my lap top.
    "It's Mom."
   "Come in."

Mom came in with a palte, adn sat on my bed.
    "Caden doesn't understnad." She handed me  my breakfast plate

I took the plate. One of the panckaes was cut in half. I looked at her.

"Baby steps." She nodded.

"Thanks Mom." I gave her a hug.

"Your welcome." She looked down embarrassed, "I kind of have to watch you eat it."

"It's okay." I picked up my fork.

"I have to go to a doctor's apointment, want to come with?"

"Sure." I smiled at her.

 

~Little toes and fingers~

 It was august twenty-eight-th, at two in the morning. Mom had just got wheeled into a room with Jackson at her side. I was sititng in a hard plastic chair, my legs to my chest, as Caden pased in front of me. The hospital was frezzing. I was dressed in sweats and Long shirt, and fuzzy slippers. Caden stopped, and looked at me. He opened his mouth, and then shut it. He continued to pace. We had been arguing all summer. He yanked his sweater over his head, adn held it out to me.
     "Here."
I quickly took it and pulled it over my head, adn over ly legs.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" He began to pace again.
     "I guess."

"You guess!" He boomed, earining a glance of random people.

A nurse walked by, and I flinched.

"You okay?" Caden looked at me confused, and then looked down the hall seeing the nurse.

He sighed, sat next to me, adn took my hand.
    "You're okay. Your not at school. "They can't do anything to you here."

I slowly nodded.

"So," His voice was tight as he tried to change the subject. "What do you think they'll look like?"

"Bald." I took my hand away from him, and crossed my arm over my legs. "Pink."

He snorted.

"Hey, listen." He turned in his seat to face me. "We have to work togther for them."

"Why?" I looked at the floor. "They won't rmemeber us anyways. We'll just be the crazy big sister and brother who come home on holidays."

"You know that's not true." Caden shook his head. "They'll be execting us to show them how to deal with life."
    "Then you can help them. If they look to me, they'll be looking at the wrong sibling."

"Why are you acting like this?" He demanded. "When we where at school you where ready to teach them things."
    "So they can just wish me to my grave basically?" I glared at him. "Look at you. I didn't teach you anything, and you still want me dead."

"That's not true."
"What's not true? I didn't teach you anything or you want me dead?"

"Both!" He looked confused. "I don't want you to be dead. You're my sister. And you taught me a lot. You taught me to never stop fighting. If you want something don't give it up. You taught me compassion. To never give up on anyone.

To help people. To make things better for the ones you love even if your mind is a prison cell. No, look at me." He took my face as I looked away from him. "You taught me how important it is to have someon on your side. Someone who understands what your going through. How to not tell the wrong person about your issues. How to be loyal. You bost up my self-esteem without even knowing it. It jsut sucks that Chloe and Coltan will never know the real you. If you want them to know you as the Crazy big sister, who comes home on holidays, then fine so be it. But I'm going to be there for them.

Becuase that's what siblings do. They stick around because they love each other. That's another thing you taught me. How to love, but maybe you forgot who you really are."
     "Where are you going?" I called after him, as he stood up and headed down the hall.

"To the food hall."

I let my head fall onto the wall. I closed my eyes. Thick rubber soles trammped down the hall, people laughed and cryed.

"Here," Someone tapped my arm. "I got you a coffee."

I looked at Owen, and he held out the coffee.

"Do you think I'm a good person?"

"Of course I do." He shook the coffee. "What kind of stupid question is that? You're the most caring Loyal person I know."

 

 

~ Crazy isn't contagious~

An hour later Jackson bounded over to us, a huge grin in place. Owen let go of my hand and Stood.
    "Everything's okay?" Owen wanted to know.

"Everythings perfect!" Jackson slapped his back. "They have nothing wrong with them. Charlie come on,"

Jackson grabbed my ahdna nd pulled me to my feet. He pulled me down the hall but I planted my feet.

"What's wrong?" He looked at me, smile still in place.

"I'l going to go find Caden." Owen slapped Jackson on the back. "Congrats."
     "Thanks." Jackson smiled at him.
Owen squeezed my hand and then headed down the hall.

"What's the matter Charlie?" Jackson's smile slowly faded. "Don't you want to meet your brother and Sister?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for me to be around them."

"Why not?"

I looked down, "Because I'm crazy."

"Becuase your what?" He leaned in.
"Becuase I"m crazy." I sighed, tossing up a hand.

"Charlie, they're not going to become crazy if they see you." He laughed, "What to knwo why?"
"Why?" I looked at him.
"Becuase your not crazy."

"I'm not?"

"No," He tossed an arm around my shoulders, and led me down the hall. "Besides, even if you where, crazy isn't contagious."

"Are you sure about that one?"

"Yes. Possitive."

Jackson led me to a large glass window. There was a bunch of glass cribs linned up with little tiny pinky babies.

"There." Jakcosn pointed to the second row smack in the middle. "Do you see them?"

I slowly nodded. There was a pink sign on one of the glass cribs, saying in bold letters, 'It's a girl!' and then there was Chloe Daniels written in black marker. The crib next to her's had a blue sign, saying, 'it's a boy!" and Coltan Daniels, was writeen in thick black marker. They where wrapped in blankets like little buritos. Chloe had a pink and white beanie on and Coltan had on a blue and yellow beanie.

"What do you think?" Jackson asked, putting his arm around me again and pulling me close to his side, "Pretty cool right?"

Again I nodded. A door opened and a nurse came out.

"Charlie?" She asked.

"Yeah?" I slowly asked, leaning closer into Jackson.

"You want to meet them?"

I looked up at Jackson.

"She'd love to." He nodded.

I walked over. The nurse led the way over to the twins. I grabbed some grem killer on the way.

"Here they are." The nurse beamed.
Coltan looked around confused, but Chloe had her eye locked on mine. They looked sad, almost pleading.

"Why does she look sad?" I looked at the nurse.
    "She doesn't look sad honey," The nurse laughed, "She's interested."

"In what?"

"In her big sister."

"I'm a big sister."

"Yup," The nurse rubbed my arm. "You want to hold her?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." I took a step back and Chloe began to cry.

"Sure it is." The nurse scooped her up and Chloe began to scream. "Here. It's okay."

The blanket fell a bit, freeing one of Chloe's hands. I sudden;y felt a surge of protection. I took a step forward, without giving my body the okay, and watched as My arms reached for Chloe. Once she was in my arms I pulled her to my chest.

"See!" The nurse beamed. "She loves you already!"

I looked down at Chloe, who had stopped crying the second I had touched her. I touched her little had and she grabbed it. Her eye looked pleading still. Like she had something to tell me, but couldn't find the words. Almost warning me about something.

"Hey," Caden touched my arm. "Mom's asking for you."

"So?"

"So I'll take Chloe."

"No," I took a step back.

"Jeesh," He muttered. "I was just trying to help you."

"She's mine." I glared at him. "Back off."

He grinned, and pulled out his phone. "Smile."

I held Chloe up, and grinned.

He handed the nurse the camera, "Can you take a picture of me and My siblings?"

"Sure." She nodded.
Caden scooped up Coltan with ease. He walked over and stood next to me. He put an arm around me, and the nurse snapped a picture.

"Perfect," She grinned. "This is one for the scrap book."

 

 

 

~Welcome home kids~

 I walked into Chloe's room, my wet pony tail swishing over my back, leaving a wet streak like a window wiper in the rain.

Jackson was just picking her up out of her crib.

"Caden took over for Mom so she could get some sleep." I told Jackson. "I could do the same for you."

"You're here on summer vacation Charlie. I couldn't ask you to be a baby siter."

"One," I walked over and Held out my arms. "She's my siser, and two, I live here."

"Thanks for this." He handed over Chloe. "I'm beat."

I set Chloe on her changing table.

"So have you come up with an answer yet?" I asked, as I changed her diaper. "Should I forgive Caden?"
She blinked at me.

"I mean, He didn't really wish me dead. I think."
She thumped an arm.

"And we're going back to school in a couple of Days. I guess I need someone I can trust."

She sighed.

"I know. I don't want to go back either, but don't you want me to graduate so you can be proud of something that I did?"

She turned her head to the door, and I looked over. Caden took a step into the room, a bottle in his hand.

"I know you probably think I'm crazy for talking to a baby." I told him.
    "I've seen you do worse." He hld out the bottle. "Besides, I talk to Coltan all the time."

"Thanks." I took the bottle.

"So," He sat down