The Self Harmed by Chalen D. (libby ebook reader .txt) 📖

Ayelie by a row of lockers talking to a girl and three guys. I left Calra and stood beside Ayelie.

"Oh." Ayelie looked at me. "This is Alen, He has Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder . Daniel, is our own little Avoidant Personality Disorder champ. Litlle Miss Ava is our Queen Histrionic Personality Disorder. Alex  has deperssion, but don't let that fool you! and I Ayelie." She bowed, "Am skitzofrantic."

"Hey." I nodded. "Charlie, Cutter, suicidal, and proabal eating disorder."

"We should get going if we want to get a spot." Ava said.

She grabbed Alen's hand and walked down the hall. Alex slowly followed them.

"Ladies?" Daniel said, holding his elbows up.

"Such a gentleman." Ayelie said, taking his arm.

I took his other arm, and he led the way to the music room.

~The memories of a life forgotten~

It was Saturday morning and I was sitting with Ayelie, under an oak tree, in the garden. She blew O's with her cigarette.

"What's wrong with you?" She nodded at me, as I grabbed my stomach.

"I'm hungry."

"Lunch is in two hours." She took a hit.

"Doesn't matter."

"Want a hit?" She held out the smoke. "It curbs your hunger."

I took the cigarette and took a hit. She shook her head when I tried to hand it back to her, as she pulled out another one from her pocket and lit up.

"Isn't this the life?" She asked me. "Sharing a smoke with a friend."

"Friend." I shook my head, and leaned against the tree.

She watched me take another hit, "Well, for us anyways."

I blew the smoke out, "Us?"

"The CK's. The crazy kids." She gave me her sly smile.

I nodded and took another hit.

"Who, whoa, whoa, Put the smoke low."

I lowered the smoke just above the grass.

"I knew I'd find you out here." Ava said, coming around the brick wall.

"God damn, girl!" Ayelie gave her a smoke. "Damn gave us a heart attack."

"Sorry," She gave Ayelie back her lighter. "Hey." She nodded at me.

I put up a peace sign.

"So what are we doing today?" Ava asked. "Any plans."

"What is there to do on a Saturday?" Ayelie laughed.

"Shit." I got up.
    "What's wrong?" Ava asked.

"I have this feild trip thing."
    "Charlie!" Ayelie called.

I turned around and she pointed at my hand. I flicked the smoke at her and she caught it. I ran to the lobby where Mr. Pepper was taking roll call.

"Sorry!" I slid across the well waxed floors.

"Nice of you to join us." He said, "Everyone in a line, and We'll walk out to the bus. Everyone will sit with their partner no if ands or butts."

"Hey." Ryder muttered getting in line behind me.

I rolled my eyes, and the line moved. Once everyone was off the bus they ran all over the park. I guess being locked up for so long makes you act like a five year old.

"Mr. Pepper?" I caught up with him.

"Oh, Charlie." He smiled down at me. "You used to live around here right?"

"Yes, but-"

"So that means you know the woods. Don't let the others see you sneaking off. I can't wait to see what you come up with. Megan!"

I slipped into the woods, and climbed the big rocks. Once I was at the top, I looked down onto the river. I found it with Owen of course. We used to swim in it. I took a couple of pictures, and then climbed down the rocks. I jumped over the rocks that were stuck in the rivers' floor, to cross the river. I looked back to make sure no one was following me and then went deeper into the woods.

I went to the tree. It was a tall thick tree, that Owen and I used to go to. The middel was carved out, so we could sit in the middel of the tree. One time for my fourteenth birthday we ran away from home to spend the night there. I went to the tree the mornig after Owen killed himself, thinking my parents where lying and I'd find him there. But our tree was no longer standing.

I took some pictures of that, then some pictures, of the old tree house we found. Ever since I fell through the floor boards and broke my arm, we never went up there again. Owen carried me through the woods, over the river, and over the big rocks to where our parents where eating lunch. I took a few of the Bear sctarched tree, and then a few of the pound before heading back. 

"Okay Everyone!" Mr. Pepper called, as I came through the woods. "Let's start to wrap it up alright? Once back at school, you can use my room to develop the pictures.

 "I saw you going into the woods." Ryder said, as I set down the picture of the river.

He picked it up, "This reallly good."

I took it from him and put it with the others.

"Can I get yours please?" I asked. "I have a board in my room."

He handed them over, "Maybe we should work on this together?"

"I don't really like strangers in my room. Thanks." I lifted his pictures, and then left the room.

 

 

~Nothing lasts forever~

"What did he say?" Ayelie asked.
She was leaning against the wall as I came out of My Therapists office for the frst time.

"He said a bunch of how does that make you feel, and then when we where done, he cut my visits to only Thursdays."

"That's good!" 

"Really?"

"Yeah, everyone in the suicide wing has to go every day." She grabbed my arm. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah  why?"

"You just tipped over. Like you lost your blance or something."

"I'm fine, Really."

"Your not eating are you?" She asked, pulling me to a bench.

I waited until a nurse passed, and then shook my head.
    "If I can't control my suroundings, I can at least control what I look like."

"Look, this is the first stage of your body failing you." She took my hands. "Please, Eat at dinner."

I shook my head.
    "Please, Charlie." She gripped my hands tighter. "Just eat half of a half of your plate. I can't lose you too."

"What-"
She got up and ran down the hall. 

I cut my plate in half as my group sat down. 

"Hey." Ava smiled, bumping my shoulder. 

"Hey." I smiled back. 

I cut the left half in have and took a bite, then looked up at Ayelie.
She nodded, then mouthed Thank you.

I nodded back and took a bite. Once back in my room I did twenty jumping jacks. For every two jumping jacks you lose a calorie. Yes I did look this up, becuase I was thinking of going on a diet. An enevlope slid under the door, and I picked it up. When I saw who it was from I ripped it open and plopped on my bed.

* Hey love!

Your Dad says hi. It's a little lonely without you here. It feels...empty somehow. Let me know how everythings going? How's Ryder and Clara? Are you feeling any different? Just say the word and Dad will come and get you. 

Promise. Your Dad has a big work project to do. You know the one he really wanted? Well he got it! And know it's hard to get him to eat my raost sandwitches. If He keeps this up, you'll have to share your bed. Just wanted to let you know you have suport on this end, when ever you are ready to come home.

If you want to stay, good for you! We still suport you. Write me back sometime okay? We got news of our family vist day. Sunday at noon. We love you!

Mon and Dad.*

I smiled wrote her a quick letter, and put it in the mail box.

"There you are Charlie. It's time for your Wieght." Maggie said.

"Oh. Um, okay."

"Follow me."

I followed her down the hall and into the nurses room. 

"Shoes off, and then hop on."

I took off my shoes and then got on.

"That's strange." She said, hitting the scale.

"What's wrong?"

She turned a page in the folder she held.

"Oh." She looked at me.
     "What?"

"Go ahead and put your shoes on Charlie." She shut the folder. "Have a seat in the chair."

Five minutes later a woman came in.
    "Hi Charlie." She smiled and sat down.

"Hi."

"I'm Dr. Morren. How are you eatting?"

"Fine."

"I'm the therapist for the eating disorder wing. Your eating isn't fine Honey." She took my hand. "You've lost seven pounds since you've been here."

"I have?" My eye's widened.

"Yes."
    "I'm just stressed out."

"Okay." She smiled. "I'm going to have you come see me on Tuesdays, and set up your weight check for every Monday. How are you sleeping?"

"Sleep?" I snorted.

"Okay, well we'll get you back on one sleeping pill per night okay?"

I nodded.

"Okay." She gave me a pill." Take it here." 

She handed me a little cup of water and I took the pill.

"This will help me sleep, right?" I asked, handing her the cup and wiping my mouth.

"Yes."

"Thanks."

"Head on to bed Sweety." She touched my cheek.

On the way too my room I ran into Ryder who grabbed my arm.
    "Ow." I pulled away.

"Sorry." He muttered. "I just wanted to know how you were."

"Dropped seven pounds. Happy?"

"No." He grabbed my wrist. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy."

"We used to talk."

"Nothing lasts forever." I took my wrist back. "Gotta go, my sleeping pill is kicking in."

 

~Everything is gonna be cool~

"I had wieght today." Daniel said at lunch.

"Me too." Alen nodded. "I lost a pound."

"I had wieght yesterday." I said, without thinking.

"You lose or gain?" Ava asked.

Everyone looked at me, and waited.

"I lost." I looked down, and moved my food to all one side of my plate, cause I was done eating my small half. "I lost seven pounds since I've been here."

"God damn girl eat!" Daniel said, making a few tables look at us.

"Daniel." Alex shook his head.

"Oh." Daniel looked down. "Sorry Charlie. I really didn't mean it like that. If I hurt your feelings or damaged