Heartbreak? Love? Or Neither? by Alexandra Rader (book reader for pc TXT) 📖

DEAR GOD

Dear GOD,

I don't now why I make so many mistakes.

It's like I'm cursed or destined to be a mistake and a regret to everyone who meets me.

I don't know why I push everyone away and build indestructible defenses.

I'm just tired of being hurt,

Surely everyone understands that..

I'm not perfec,

But I try so hard to please everyone and to be as perfect as possible.

But no one realizes how unhappy and lonely and scared I am.

I just want someone to love and accept me as I am.

I guess what I'm praying for is HOPE.

Hope for the future and the possibilities it holds.

Maybe one day I'll understand my purpose.

Maybe someday...

 

Amen

DECIEVE

I'm lost within myself

With no way out or in

I'm tangled in confusion

When will this end??

 

There's no way to save me

In thi terror that I weave

I just want out

Who am I trying to decieve?

DEEPER INTO MY HEART

You take my breath aay

With every move you make

When you take me by the hand

I know I'll never break

 

You treat me like a Princess

Like I've never been treated before

I'm beginning to fall deep

And soon you'll have my core

 

Every minute that I spend with you

You walk deeper into my heart

I know at times there's cause for doubt

But try to look at it as a new start

DEPRESSION

The tears come at every corner

Flowing swiftly and with ease

Her heart is turning into stone

Like a lonely, Winter breeze

 

Her family is getting worried

For the way she's shutting down

No more smiles, no more laughter

It's like her happiness is bound

DESPAIR

The pain in my heart

Can be seen in my eyes

There's a torture in my soul

That just can't be denied

 

The ache in my body

Doesn't ever go away

I can only lay here in despair

Day after day

DO YOU CARE? (FEBRUARY 8, 2012)

Don't you care at all?

Can't youo see what you're doing to me?

I gave you my heart and all of my love

It's tearing me apart, you see

 

Take the chains from my soul

Patch the tears in my heart

Hold my hand and keep me close

Make my end my start

 

Play with my emotions

Like you always seem to do

Lean in close and whisper words,

Lies that seem so true

 

Tears are streaming down my face

But you don't really care

I'm hiding in a corner

While you stand over there

 

You could help me

You really could

But you're always there

And never would

 

At first it seemed so perfect

But now I'm slowly dying

But you don't seem to care

Or hear the words I'm crying

DO YOU EVER...

Do you ever stand quietly

And watch as I sleep?

Dreaming my dreams

And praying my soul to keep

 

Do you ever bend gently

And place a kiss on my forehead?

Or do you smooth my hair back

And tuck me into bed?

 

Do you ever walk swiftly

To turn out the lights?

Or whisper, "I love you!"

Into the night?

 

Do you ever stand

Smiling down on me?

Brushing away fears

Or leaving me be?

 

Do you ever hold me

When you see I'm having a nightmare?

Do you ever wish

I knew how much you care?

 

Do you ever laugh

If I drool on my pillow?

Or sigh in contentment

If I look as peaceful as a willow?

DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE (APRIL 19, 2012)

If I had to go one day without seeing your face

My heart would fall apart and out of place

 

My hands would be empty and cold

My arms would have nothing to hold

 

So please don't make me go through that pain

I don't think I'd be able to stay sane

 

So while we are together, just hold me tight

And maybe one day, everything with be right

 

So, just sit back and let's close our eyes

Let's not worry or think of Goodbyes

 

Why don't we let our fantasies take us away

At least for a while, let's have our way

 

So, baby please don't leave me alone

Don't make me live on my own

 

I cn't stand the thought of leaving your side

I'm waiting for the day, that you make me your bride

 

So love me forever and always

Don't make me spend anymore lonely days

DON'T LEAVE ME TONIGHT

If you leave me tonight,

I'll wake up alone

Don't tell me I will make it on my own

Don't leave me tonight

This heart of stone will sing until it dies

If you leave me tonight

DON'T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED

I am not a perfect girl.

I am human, too and will fail you often.

I don't have hair that stays in place.

I don't always say the right things.

I don't have the body of a super model.

I am not quiet, calm, nor reserved.

I won't always like you.

I am a hypocrite.

I won't always agree with you.

I don't always want you to hold me.

I won't make it easy on you.

I might want flowers or candy.

I may love me.

Double standards prevail.

I want to hold your hand.

I contradict myself often.

I don't want to hear you lie to me.

Sometimes all I want is you